nothingbeast's Reviews

Spider-Man (2002)

3 August 2004

In a world where comics almost never translate well onto the big screen, Spiderman is a welcome surprise.

Perhaps it has everything to do with the character. Spiderman is just a simple, average human, who is given his gift by accident. He's not an alien who gets a buzz from Earth's yellow sun. He's not a millionaire who witnesses his parents die at the hands of a thug.

The acting is very well done, but more importantly the situations are very believable.

The action sequences are very well done, from the fight scenes to Spidey swinging through the city.

A very well done comic movie, that actually makes you feel like you're reading the comic on a much larger page.

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The Fifth Element (1997)

My favorite movie

18 April 2004

Why do I say that? Because I've seen this movie more times than anything else.

I love this movie. I love every aspect about it. The movie's style is unlike anything I've ever seen.

I think it was a great move making the hero a cab driver. It reminds us that crappy jobs will always remain.

I can't rave about this movie enough. I saw it in theatre's way back in 97 and have watched it every chance I had. Recently it's been played almost nightly on TV, and every time I come across it, I stop and put the remote down.

Don't go into this movie expecting a MATRIX-like sci-fi movie (in the sense that sci-fi is dark and full of meaning that you have to look deeply to find.)

It's supposed to be a fun movie. Why would the future be full of hypercolors if you weren't supposed to have fun with it? A lot of people are bad-mouthing this movie because of it's "stupid" portrayal of the future. Well, who says it won't look that way? Personally I wish the ladies working at McDonalds looked like the ladies in this version of the future.

I'll say it again, this is my favorite movie of all time. Another reason why? I have a tattoo of the 4 elemental stone symbols on my right shoulder.

Yeah. I love this movie that much.

I am a Trekkie for this movie. This is my Star Wars. I guess that makes me a "Fifty."

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Cabin Fever (2002)

So much wasted potential

25 February 2004

Warning: Spoilers

There were so many directions this movie could have gone... unfortunately I guess the director was more interested in putting himself in a totally un-needed character to go in any of these directions.

***SPOILERS***

I don't usually yell at the characters in movies, but these kids are possibly the dumbest teens i've ever seen in horror. I mean, you roll into town you've never been in, and what's the first thing these kids do? P*** off the shop keepers... possibly the only link to the outside world since no one in the county has a phone.

In every situation the kids did the exact wrong thing to do. Like, having unprotected sex while the object of your desires is rotting away in the tool shed. (did the thought of the blood borne virus suddenly escape you?) Or while running for help you stop to ogle the naked woman on the bed, and then act surprised when her husband waves his shotgun in your face and says you can't use the phone.

Other than the rage-inducing teens, there were many unanswered questions... like what the hell was in the "kit" that the rednecks brought to the cabin? Why did we need like a minute of slow motion kung fu before the freaky little kid bites the infected teen? Why did the germ freak who didn't catch the virus go BACK TO THE CABIN WHERE IT STARTED?

***END SPOILERS***

The only thing that (sorta) kept me from demanding my money back was the cute little extras on the DVD. But how sad is it when a crappy claymation short is more entertaining than the full lenght feature? Plus the "chick-vision" in the extras was cute. Every time a tense situation came up, a pair of hands came up and covered the screen, not unlike a scared young girl. Heh heh.

If you insist on seeing this movie, have someone else pay for it. You'll feel ripped off unless you're under 16 and don't know what decent horror is.

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Howard the Duck (1986)

Another great movie that didn't use CGI

3 January 2004

Not that I have anything against CGI. I just think movies are better if they use actual stuff to create the creatures and special effects rather than rely on computers all the time.

I felt this was a great movie. Humorous plot that made fun of about 100 other movies just like it (creature comes from space, and either tries to destroy the world, or save it)

And who in the world could forget the famous (infamous?) bed-room scene where Howard and Beverly (played by a very young and sexy Lea Thompson) nearly took part in a very illegal activity. I've never really watched Letterman before but I'd never pass up that invitation (if you haven't seen this flick you probably won't get that alliteration.)

A lot of people are saying this movie is stupid. Well, yeah. A talking duck from an alternate world who saves the earth from the Dark Overlords of the Universe... that's stupid... but that's also why it works.

The only thing i've never figured out about this movie is why do the female ducks in Duckworld have breasts when that is a very mammal thing to have. I guess somethings were never meant to be known.

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Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003)

Of course it's not supposed to be serious!!!

20 September 2003

Some of the comments about this movie say things like "only stupid people will find this funny" or things like that.

To those people I say "You thought a movie called "Dumb and Dumberer" was dumb. Well Hollywood has your cash, and you're all upset because you were expecting something smart? Whos the real stupid person in this equation?"

I thought this movie was just as funny, if not funnier than the origional. It's a laugh riot if you want it to be. If you go in thinking that you'll be better human being than you were when you woke up this morning, then of course you're gonna think this movie sucks.

This movie was supposed to be stupid. IT SAYS IT IN THE FRIGGIN TITLE!!! I knew what it was going to be and I had so much fun.

I did think it was funny that I seemed to be the mediator in the theatre when I went to see this flick. I noticed that people only laughed after I started laughing. It was like I deemed what was funny and what was acceptable to laugh at. I think a lot of the people in the audience were those expecting intellectual humor.

If you thought the "Dumb and Dumber" was funny, see this movie. Forget the fact that it's not Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels. The actors they got are incredible in filling those big shoes. Now if they were any good in any thing else they were in... I can't say. But they were great choices for playing Lloyd and Harry.

The only parts that weren't really funny were the scenes between Eugene Levy and Cheri O'Teri. They just didn't seem to click. They are both very funny people, but their scenes just weren't that funny. But I'll cut them some slack because they were needed for the plot to develop.

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Donnie Darko (2001)

Needs a couple of viewings

20 September 2003

I love time travel movies that get it right. This movie? i'm not so sure did. There were a couple of holes, and questions that I had.

Was this a bad flick? No. It was very entertaining.

I'm not certain why this movie has become a cult-classic, but after watching it a couple of times I feel that it's a good movie.

There's a lot of things going on in this movie, and you shouldn't watch it if you're expecting a phone call, or don't have a very good attention span.

If you have the patience to sit and think, instead of one of those persons who needs everything spelled out for them (which are probably the people ripping this flick) then you'll enjoy it.

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Freddy vs. Jason (2003)

10/10

Oh, My Giddy Aunt!!!!

1 September 2003

That's the only way to express my feelings after seeing this movie.

This flick is my new favorite movie. It was so much fun. I haven't felt this good about a fight since Rocky took on Ivan Drago.

I went into this movie kinda concerned. Not because I was worried about if it would live up to the expectations I built up in the 5+ years I've been waiting for it... instead I didn't know who to root for!

This movie was so good on sooooo many levels. I loved how both Freddy and Jason got some extra "flashbacks" explaining their motives/backgrounds.

The gore was good, the acting was just cheesy enough to be fun, and the story was surprisingly good. (don't worry... no spoilers here)

At first I was put off that Kelly Rowland got a part in this movie, and even enraged when she admitted that she didn't know anything about either Freddy or Jason (what the hell are you in the movie for? Give it to someone who's done some research.) But I changed my mind when I saw her in action. I'm not saying she's the greatest actor ever, but much better than some people who've been in the business for a few years.

Go see this movie if you want a fun flick to end the Summer on (yes, it's past the Labor Day weekend, but FvsJ is still a Summer movie.) 17 stars out of 10!!!

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Signs (2002)

Great the 1st time, a little less great the 2nd time.

23 August 2003

This is the type of movie that makes me wish there was a way to get inside your head and erase whatever you want.

Signs was one of the greatest "edge of your seat" movies i've seen in a long time. Just like in "The Sixth Sense" when everything came together at the end, I was completely blown away. (i'm not like most people who over analyze a movie while i'm seeing it for the first time just to prove to themselves how smart they are. I just let it roll and take me where ever it wants)

When the movie ended, it was like I was on a drug. I was all excited and talkative like a child. "I can't believe I didn't notice that!" and "That was great how this and that went together!"

However, once I knew the secrets of the movie, the second time I saw it, it had lost some of the magic. It was still a good movie, but didn't seem as fun the second time around.

If someone could create a way for people to forget movies so that everytime you went to see it, it was like the first time, movies like "Signs" and "The Sixth Sense" would be so much more enjoyable.

A great movie, but don't let anybody tell you about it. Plug your ears and run until you've seen it for yourself.

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Johnny English (2003)

Way funnier than Austin Powers

23 August 2003

Now don't get me wrong. I loved all three Austin Powers movies, but I feel Johnny English deserves 2 sequels more than Powers did.

English was hysterical. I've enjoyed Rowan Atkinson for years as Mr. Bean and even his brief scenes in the movie "Rat Race." He's nothing short of a comic genius.

I've heard people bashing this movie as unfunny and stupid. I don't know what movie those people were watching, mistaking it for Johnny English, but I saw this flick in it's 3rd week with a packed audience. It was a laugh riot in that theatre.

There's no shortage of laughs in this movie. The plot isn't weighed down with impossible twists, but theres plenty of plot to allow English to get himself into trouble.

I never finished my popcorn. After about the 3rd near-choking incident, I gave up and put it under my seat.

I wasn't expecting this movie to be so funny. Check it out if you're looking for a fun flick.

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Finding Nemo (2003)

computer animation at it's best!

23 August 2003

Why does it seem like everything Pixar touches turns to gold?

The animation is incredible. With the exception of every fish having "human" eyes, I'd swear I was watching the Discovery Channel.

This movie is nothing but fun. I do agree that very young children may be frightened by some of the more menacing fish (and there are some very menacing fish) but this movie has something for everyone.

Mainly it's the heartwarming story of family and how parents and children learn to see things from each other's perspective.

There is also alot of humor in this flick. I walked out with my stomach aching from laughing so much.

The best looking scene would have to be the school of Jellyfish. The animation is dead-on realistic.

One of the best family films i've seen in years.

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House of 1000 Corpses (2003)

Not a Hollywood equation for success. That's why I like it!!!

20 August 2003

I applaud Rob Zombie for taking a chance and creating a movie the way he felt it should be made.

Was this the greatest movie I've ever seen? No.

But it had more heart in it than Scream 1, 2, and 3, and I know what you did last Summer 1 and 2 combined.

It takes guts to make a movie that's not geared towards the masses.

I like to look at this movie as an artistic expression. Everybody else enjoys the "water-colored," shallow pieces like American Pie. Corpses seems to take the angle of an abstract "Andy Warhol" piece that doesn't appeal to everyone.

I don't feel this is a rip off of Horror movies of the past. I feel this is a tribute to the movies of the past that didn't answer to box-office success. The films that were made because someone had a vision that wasn't encircled by dollar signs.

I enjoyed this movie and will go see the sequel if the rumors are true.

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A Christmas Story (1983)

The only tradition that still exists in my family

16 August 2003

I saw this movie around the time it was released, and I've watched it at least once every year since then. This is a classic movie, and it's the only movie that my ENTIRE family loves.

Every Christmas eve, while exchanging gifts we turn the tv on to the 24 hour marathon. Doesn't matter where it's at, we all know it by heart.

I can't go to my family's Christmas get-together without hearing a couple great one-liners from this movie. Whether it's my uncle singing "FA RA-RA RA-RA RA-RA RA RA" or my mom saying "you'll shoot your eye out" or hearing "how do the little piggies eat" while sitting down to dinner, this movie is a part of my family, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

The family in the film is borderline dysfunctional, but they keep it together throughout all the problems associated with a Christmas full of problems. It's heartwarming, and always reminds me of my childhood. I truly feel sorry for people who think this movie is bad. They've let their inner child grow up, and have forgotten what it was like to be a kid at christmas.

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The Animatrix (2003)

This isn't part of the Matrix trilogy

28 May 2003

I get a kick out of all the people who watched this expecting it to have any tie in to the Wachowski brother's trilogy.

This is a side project for others in the industry to take a familiar idea and take it in they're own direction.

Now I've only seen a couple of shorts in the Animatrix and that was what I stumbled onto late at night on MTV, but what i've seen I enjoyed. The "final flight of the osiris" did tie into the story, but that's all. I personally loved the short where the children found the glitch in the matrix, and just said the place was "haunted." The children were having all sorts of fun, breaking bottles and watching them become whole again. Jumping off ledges and landing inches from the ground. The idea of this one was the imagination of the children was allowing them to bend the rules of the matrix, but they hadn't been "awakened" to the knowlege of their slavery. They were just being children. I don't know if that short made it to the video, but I thought it was briliant.

Just enjoy the fantasy that goes along with the shorts. It's not going to tell you what the Matrix is about. Just to entertain you.

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The Matrix Reloaded (2003)

take a couple of aspirin before watching!!!

20 May 2003

Why, you may ask? My head hurt from trying to absorb all the info that comes from this movie.

I'm not going to go into any details because this movie is still in theatres and not everyone has had a chance to see it. All I can say is PAY REAL CLOSE ATTENTION WHEN PEOPLE ARE TALKING. Theres a lot to absorb

But I thought this movie was awesome. Some people say it's considerably different from the first, but isn't a sequel supposed to be? Sure, it didn't seem to be as fun as the first, but it's still a damn good movie. The reason why it wasn't as fun as the first is because we don't have Neo learning as the movie progresses. What made the first movie fun was learning along side of Neo. Now that he's "Superman" we sorta have to learn for ourselves.

I'm going to see it again, and try to figure out what in the world was happening plot-wise. There was alot I didn't catch, but that's not the movie's fault. the 3 year old kid sitting next to me just HAD to go to the bathroom right when the IMPORTANT PARTS HAPPEN. He couldn't have held it for 2 minutes longer, or have gone during one of the super long (and super bad-ass) fight scenes. So I had to break my attention from the movie and let him and his dad get pass since the only seat available was on the aisle. I really hate parent's that bring their kids to the movies when they can't just sit and watch.

I'd wait for a couple of weeks for when the crowds die down and then go see this flick. If you liked the first movie, this one is worth the ticket price.

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Jeepers Creepers (2001)

I feel sorry for anyone who thinks this deserves a sequel

17 May 2003

This movie was without a doubt, horror at it's worst. When I first saw the previews for this movie I thought it would be pretty good. The only thing that kept me from seeing it in the theatre was being busy when it was in the local area.

I saw it last year when a friend brought it to me. Needless to say I'm glad I didn't spend a single red cent to see it. This wouldn't have even been good as a B-rated movie. And I think B-rated movies are gold.

The plot was terrible, the special effects weren't that good, and the ending left me very displeased. It was like they ran out of funding and said "ok, lets just weasel out of this as quick as we can... do we have time to change our names on the production listing?"

Don't be tempted by any review that says that this movie is worth watching. This flick is like "Charlie's Angels" minus the gratuitous T and A. Pure crap. The difference is that I actually watched Jeepers Creepers to the end.

I would probably have been easier on this flick if it came out in 1974 or something. But the fact that it came out in 2001, I say Shame on you Hollywood for allowing this lousy film to ooze through your protective filter that keeps pure crap off the big screen.

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Gremlins (1984)

Large numbers of confused parents!!!

26 April 2003

When this movie first came out, a lot of parents made the fatal mistake of thinking it was a cute, children's movie. In fact, it was this movie and "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" that prompted the film industry to create the PG-13 rating. This one only got a PG.

My mother was one of the parents who confused the movie as one suitable for children.

Needless to say I was horrified by this movie as I was only 4 years old. This movie caused me to be severely afraid of the dark for many years. Yet, strangely enough, I wanted to watch it every year at my grandmother's house at Christmas time. It was tradition.

I think that if parents knew what they were getting into, this wouldn't have been as big a movie as it was, and would probably have been lost among rummage sales, and good will donations as a movie nobody wanted.

I love this movie, and it takes me back to when I was a frightened little boy, who was too scared to check under the bed when he heard those strange noises in the middle of the night. Almost 20 years later, those old scars still haven't healed completely, and sometimes just seeing "Stripe" on the cover will send chills down my spine and prompt me to move to a room with better lighting.

That's damn good film-making. Freddy Krueger didn't even do that to me.

I do get a kick out of the fact that every once in a while, the Disney channel will play this movie around the holidays.

Hoyt Axton's monologue at the begining trys to bring us into the movie by being the "story-teller" but during the movie, we trick ourselves with "it's only a movie." Ending it with Axton's end monologue drags us back into the movie, leaving us with the though... "There just might be a Gremlin in your house."

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Wishmaster (1997)

Great horror in a time of crappy horror

13 April 2003

Back when Wishmaster came out the country was going crazy over the "i don't know who the real killer is until the last 5 minutes of the movie" genre. You know... Scream, I know what you did last summer, and all the other crap-fests like them. Horror wasn't horror... it was a damn Hardy boys book with a little bit of blood.

Wishmaster, in my opinion, is one of the greatest horror movies in a long time. There was blood, there was suspense, there were creepy monsters, great special effects, and no real campy humor. (although I'm still curious why there was a parody of Han Solo frozen in Carbonite when a guy becomes part of the wall in the opening scene.) And best of all, there wasn't any stupid teen situations screwing with the story. It was just Evil vs. Good... Who's smarter?

This is a must own movie. One of Wes Craven's best. Plus the cameos of past horror greats was a nice touch.

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Braindead (1992)

More blood in one movie than in a handful of other movies!!!

13 April 2003

I had seen the end of this movie when if first aired on Cinemax many years ago, but I didn't know what the hell was going on. Then 10 years later, I found a copy in a video store and impulse-purchased it thinking it would be similar to the movie "Bad Taste." Mainly I was looking for a movie that would push the limits of blood and gore even more than what I saw in Bad Taste.

I wasn't disappointed.

The amount of gore in this movie is increadable. I've been into horror all my life and i've never seen any movie come close to the amount of gore in this one.

It's not really a true horror movie... but it's too much fun to ignore. Plus I don't think theres another movie out there that shows a couple of zombies gettin' it on.

Just like Braveheart, its a perfect movie for a guy to watch with his girlfriend... It's got the gore for the guys but it also has a love story for the girls. Check it out. You won't be sorry.

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