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In Absentia (2000)
Shiver
12 January 2004
This is by far the scariest combination of images and sounds I've ever experienced, s***-scared I was.

I'd definitely like to see some more by these sick brothers though.

If you like Tool video's, this is what you should be watching.
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1/10
Strictly For Hardcore Gellar Fans
30 April 2003
Warning: Spoilers
Of course I only watched this movie because it stars Sarah Michelle Gellar. And on that note, WOW did I get what I bargained for, she looked more beautiful then ever. Just stunning.

Now, let's talk about the movie it self.

I'm thinking that it just might have been the worst movie I EVER saw. It was just terrible. The writing (dialogue) was absolutely rediculous. The story way bogus and actually just plain stupid.

PLOT: (and please do not consider this a "spoiler" because this is not some kind of thriller)

Gellar is a cook, and a very bad one too. Then one day she obtains a magical crab (yes people, really), who just sits on a shelve in the kitchen and then suddenly she's becomes this amazing cook, and everything the makes is flavoured with her emotions. OK then blablabla all sorts of weird stuff happens, of course there is this guy who she falls in love with. But when they kiss they both start to fly, which of course freaks the guy out and he decides she's a witch and he doesn't want to see her anymore. Then suddenly he decides it doesn't really matter, because she's hot anyway (which she most definitely is) and all ends well.

Normally I would have puked all the way through a movie like this (would have watched it all the way through though because I find that one is NEVER, yes NEVER able to judge a movie if it is not watched from the begin credits to the end credits) but I was so hypnotised but Sarah that I actually made it through, alive and in a way satisfied.

Conclusion: Beware! Do NOT, I say NOT watch this if you are not a huge huge fan of Gellar, this movie is so crappy you probably couldn't even imagine, and it's not even bad in a funny way like for instance Beverly Hills Ninja (haha, that movie cracked me up..sorry). If you are au contraire, enjoy, I know I did.

Rating: In terms of Gellar, I give this flick a 10/10 As an objective movie critic I'd say 1/10
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The Ring (2002)
10/10
Help...
15 March 2003
Oh My God.

I went to the theater having read and heard a lot about this movie, so my expectations were pretty high.

I really almost s*** my pants. I haven't been this scared during a movie since The Others. The only difference is: The Others stops being scared when the movie's over. The Ring haunted me for at least a week. Because seven days later I actually got scared again, thinking: "Crap, at what time did I see the movie? How long do I have?" Luckily I survived.

Go and see this. Be sure to pick a date and time when the chance of being in a theater full of highschool kids is minimal. It will ruin a lot if you're a person like my who likes to "expirience" a movie. Children tend to resort to laughter when emotions get too big to handle.

I can't say very much about the Japanese original(s), but I've heard they are even scarier, so I don't know if I'll be able to sit them through...

One definite advantage the Hollywood version has though is Naomi Watts, Mulholland Drive fans, eat your heart out.
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Adaptation. (2002)
10/10
Could you be more Original?
15 March 2003
Incredible.

Charlie Kaufman might just be the most genius screenwriter (I daren't say ever) at the moment. I mean, trying to adapt a book for a screenplay, not succeeding, yet in the process writing a screenplay about how you can't seem to adapt this book for a screenplay. Oh yeah, and also being helped by your not existing twin brother, and crediting him as co-writer, and being nominatad for an Oscar together with him.

Is anyone following this?

Kaufman seems to be the master of destroying the line between reality and fiction.

I kind of have a hard time saying anything about this movie, because I don't know what to say. You should just go and say it. There's nothing like it.

If you liked Being John Malkovic you wil definitely love this. If you hated BJM you might still like it. It doesn't have the absurdity and surreality of BJM. The story is just incredibly intelligently written.

Even though the movie is about how Kaufman is unable to adapt this book, he actually succeeds in doing just that in the process.

Jesus, I'm still totally stunned.

Jonze does do a very good job once again. But the direction is just outshined by the story...
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Fight Club (1999)
10/10
Define the 90's
27 September 2002
I would like to illustrate the meaning of Fight Club in my opinion together with another work of art from the last decade.

Fight Club and OK Computer (Music Album) by Radiohead are THE masterpieces of the 90's.

They completely define the society of that period(*). The shallowness of "normal life". Fight Club: "I am Jack's complete lack of surprise" Radiohead: "No alarms and no surprises"

The way that women have taken a different position in society which leaves men inconfident and unsure of the role they should or can fullfill.

The lost generation with nothing to fight for, post-cold war. (*I deliberately wrote "that period" and not "today" for we all know that this decade has gotten a very different taste since about 1 year ago...)

The consumer-society driven by the media telling everybody what to buy and how much.

I could go on for ages with themes the movie covers, but won't because I don't have the time and you should probably figure them out for yourself.

If you can ofcourse that is, because I have read some terrible negative reviews here about this movie that really want to make me fight those who wrote them. I mean, sure the movie wasn't flawless, but how come it is that when people write negative reviews they never seem to have valid arguments.

I've read things like:

'It was boring'

'Action movie with an infantile, rubbish plot'

'Actual film has hardly anything to do with its title'

'Shallow characters'

'Bad acting'

'The "twist" is just plain stupid'

'A very average movie completely lacking in the "meaning"'

Arguments that are either pathetic and inconcievably dumb or just untrue. It makes me sad.

If you lack the intelligence to understand a movie like this, just shut up. Don't watch this stuff, go rent The Gladiator or Pearl Harbor, those movies were made specially for you.

Thank you.

P.S. if you DID like the topic of this movie I would like to suggest watching A Clockwork Orange and American Psycho, which movies are absolutely not the same as Fight Club, but are somewhat related.
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