The Curse of Valburga (2019) Poster

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1/10
Probably one of the worst films ever made
josemiguelarraizroberti13 January 2023
Warning: Spoilers
Probably one of the worst films ever made. Lousy as hell.

The characters act illogically and senselessly. This is not how normal people act, and it is understandable that things happen for the convenience of the script but this is beyond the pale.

It's also absolutely stupid the way they kill the characters. 3 people are in a locked room, a killer walks in unnoticed in broad daylight and kills a girl in the middle of the room and no one sees the killer. Then the same situation is repeated over and over again.

I can't understand how there are people who have rated this garbage positively, unless they are clearly bought reviews. Lousy script, lousy actors. Watching this movie is wasting 2 hours of your life on something that is just garbage.
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6/10
They all went missing
nogodnomasters1 May 2022
Warning: Spoilers
The original title was "The Curse of Valburga" which somehow didn't carry as much weight as Dracula. Three scammers decide to run a tourist operation to the closed castle of Valburga, Dracula's cousin. There are all kinds of stories surrounding the castle. A group of goths from Sweden go there with the intent of reviving the spirit. This is supposed to be a comedy-horror that doesn't quite make the translation. As carnage, murder, and mayhem are going on, there is one German tourist couple who think it is all a show and applaud at the killings, without a doubt, the best part of the feature.

It didn't look like they knew where they wanted to go with the film. People died too soon without any build-up. Not sure who the German soldier was supposed to be.

Guide: F-word. Near sex. No nudity.
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8/10
Solid and somewhat enjoyable comedic Slovenian slasher
kannibalcorpsegrinder17 August 2019
Attempting to get by in life, a group of friends looking to start a scam tourist souvenir business and head out with an eccentric group of tourists and other locals to a supposedly haunted local castle, only to find that the local superstition is true when they start to disappear one-by-one.

Overall, this one was quite an enjoyable enough offering. Among the better qualities here is the exceptionally wacky screenplay that manages to bring together this group of seemingly separate storylines into one whole story. The early scenes of the group sitting around the bar talking about how they're going to start the scam business starts this off with some sardonic laughs at their eccentric behavior while the series of utterly bonkers and bizarre tourists that are on the trip with them manage to build that whacky setup further. Combined with the bizarre work you see behind-the-scenes of the tour as they try to pull of the scares of their fake service, this first half of the film has a lot to like about it. Once this one manages to go for the overt horror scares and stalking scenes, the film picks up considerably with plenty of strong points. The first attack in the basement has a lot to like, while the attack on the group going through the porn shoot is just as striking, giving us a clear idea of what they're dealing with. That leads nicely into the big scenes here where the killer, still off-screen, begins to really take out the tour group which features plenty of slasher fun here with the attacks on the group which comes from the relentless and utterly frenetic running time that means numerous attacks and stalking encounters throughout the castle for the various members of the tour group. Since these are all accomplished with stellar practical special effects that look gruesome and realistic, the film manages to contain a lot of positive elements. That said, there are several flaws with the film that hold it back. The main issue here is the fact that the film's sudden introduction of the family alongside the killer hunting them doesn't strike any purpose. They act as though they're trying to capture the women in the group to act as broodmares for the future to ensure the family bloodline continues, but the fact that they outright kill or just severely break the victims apart before then is completely at odds to what their intent is. Even still, that's just a guess as they're brought into this so late into the running time we don't have enough time with them anyway to learn about them or their needs, and most what they accomplish while on-screen could've easily been handled by the lone killer making them redundant in the film overall. The other real issue to be had with the film is the somewhat confusing and jarring conclusion that doesn't connect to anything that's happened before simply to set up a potential sequel. These are all that hold the film down.

Rated Unrated/R: Extreme Graphic Language, Extreme Graphic Violence and drug use.
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9/10
Fantastic horror-comedy!
meowmasboy5 May 2022
This is a great film. It is a hilarious black comedy, combined with a truly disturbing horror secret, and an ending that ties it all together in a satisfying manner. I myself write horror-comedy novels, and I would have been proud to put out something as good as this. If you love horror combined with the blackest of comedy, you will love this film.
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10/10
satire, death and fun to watch with company
stbelapr30 September 2019
I really enjoyed watching this movie. I would recommend viewing it more than once, especially in cinema (where I watched it twice). Despite of the clear-cut nature of the difficulties surrounding the main characters, the film remains intense, captivating, and full of small details throughout, thus constantly leaving the viewer excited for what's about to happen next. The experience of this film is actually enhanced with each subsequent viewing, and is especially fun to watch with company. The satire was quite heavy handed, and depicted with such intensity, that the slasher part of the movie came as a truly cathartic experience. In fact, my only complaint about It would be that it didn't last for as long as I would have liked. My favorite parts of the movie were the opening dialogue, the character of the killer and his weapon, the flying head, and all the weirdness, taking place in the basement. All in all, this film is absolutely awesome, and well worth the view.
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