User Reviews

"Paternity" opens the eighth and final season with Wojo being slapped with a paternity suit, despite him not knowing who the girl is! Eventually, he recalls that she was a manicurist he met trying to duck in out of the cold, while a trip to the urologist reveals that he couldn't be the father because he's sterile ("sorry about this pal, but your spermatozoans are dead...they're supposed to wiggle, and mine just sorta lay there like a buncha string!"). This doesn't seem to dim his lustre for the ladies, as he has no trouble hitting it off with a beauty contestant (Rebecca Holden) whose purse was snatched. Feeling like an impotent eunuch, Wojo barrels through a suspect with an assault weapon (Pierrino Mascarino), amazed at the fearless brazenness of the act ("I had a shotgun in there, doesn't that mean anything anymore?"). Meanwhile, movie patron Arthur Frane (Dana Gladstone) becomes fed up with the level of violence at his local cinema, disrupting the screening of "Arbor Day" to wreak havoc in the projection booth. Theater manager Victor Lupton (Stefan Gierasch, last of five) wonders where Frane was when he was screening "Dodsworth" or "The African Queen," only showing up for films like "Hotel Hacksaw" and "Mermaids from Hell!"