Wed, Nov 3, 2004
The quints want to go to a party, but the parents object. The boys manage to escape, and get hooked up with crazy college boy Luskin, eager to travel with him to Canada where girls will run in the snow bare-bosom. While ma Carol discovers that pa Bob has converted a room she ignores since 13 years into his secret subterranean hideout 'camp Bob', the trio finds life with Luskin is never dull but even less safe or satisfying: he moons but after Pearce tanks diesel in the gas car they loose their cloths in a dryer...
Wed, Nov 10, 2004
Mother can't handle tutoring artistic nut-case Pearce anymore, so dad does but is suckered into writing his English paper for him, to prove to ma he's not just a C-grades idiot, and treated exactly like the schoolboy. Ever ambitious and horny Patton aims no lower then his foxy new English teacher, so he pretends to be a moron in need of her home tutoring. Alas that puts her adult date, coach Scales, in a fulminating foul mood, which must sorely be worked off by- torturing well-behaved jock Parker and his teammates all evening with inhuman exercise series, till they drop and then much more. Meanwhile airhead Paige manages to convert studious Penny's favorite, intellectually most challenging teacher into just another fashion slave... .
Wed, Aug 4, 2004
Penny gets the chance of a lifetime to leave the town: her own Romeo and Juliet school production can earn her a scholarship. Alas supervising teacher Ms. Hentschel not only forces her to dump gay talent Matt as Romeo for Patton, who thus gets to kiss Parker's girlfriend Carrie, who never kisses the hunk on the lips, while the Chase parents make Penny appoint worthless Paige for the props she plans to dispense with altogether, but Hentschel frowns on Penny's minimalistic approach, so she is forced to do it line-prompter Pearce's comics superhero-way. Meanwhile pa Bob manages to make his neighbor invite him and ma for a dinner and, his point, jacuzzi, but that isn't always as naked as they believed. On the opening night, even patiently supportive big brother Parker is trough watching Patton get all the kisses, and arranges for an alternative course of events...
Wed, Jan 5, 2005
When Parker and Patton realize Pierce still is a virgin who never even made 'second base', they give him brotherly advice -also for the cause of guys making girls easy- and Parker even hands-on practice, badly needed given Pierce's natural clumsiness... Patton has a scam selling his 'secret odorless aphrodisiac', actually water, but his accomplice has her own hidden agenda... Carol enjoyed getting out this month of taking the girls to her 98-year great aunt Sylvia, a nasty nagging bag, but envies Bob when they find Sylvia fallen to her death from diving down the garbage shoot after a cookie...
Wed, Sep 22, 2004
Nobody else wanted to, but mother insists to participate in a twins - and multiples convention. Dad is forced to go talk to a future quints father, who concludes from the truth it's high time to run for his life. Patton meets sexy twins who won't date separately, so he plays his imaginary twin Peter too. Pearce has constructed a womb experience, which means nothing to Parker- except a money machine. Penny and Paige date twins they once knew as unsightly brats, but meanwhile turned out hunky studs, alas both prefer- Paige, the better kisser!
Wed, Sep 15, 2004
Penny decides to have a live science project: manipulating the dumbest kid in class, popular sister Paige, who normally depends on nerds to do all the work for her, to construct a cool hemoglobin molecule model. Cool big brother Parker gets disappointed twice in a row: first hot new girl Jessica Geiger shows no interest whatsoever in the hunk but takes instantly to kid brother Patton, then Alayna continues to play him against weird brother Pearce, so they team up for a science project, the human battery, using Parker's body to take the shocks, and again, after his iPod was dismantled for parts to construct a lie detector, to test it. Mother volunteers in a seniors home 'to give something back', dad decides raising quintuplets is enough merit to society, in fact he deserves a plaque for it. Patton finds out why Jessica likes him, and it's none of his qualities. Nerd Eric points out Penny's project's fatal flaw.
Wed, Jul 28, 2004
The quints have their school ball. Parker is always in demand, but while his first choice Carrie Friedman easily accepted, 'irresistible' bully Gino Grazano forces his creepy sister Gina on the stud, who finds any attempt to make himself undesirable, even onion stench, backfires. Patton, indomitably ambitious as ever, asks every good-looking girl in school, in alphabetical order, but gets his act together as 'dying kid' in time to land nobody less then adult video star (known to dad 'where did I see you?'!) 'Catherine Zeta-Juggs'. Penny planned to make a protest appearance as zombie couple with gay Matt, but Pierce's obsessional swing dancing is irresistible to the gay swinger; dad fears even Pearce may get a bad rep as weirdo from that one, and manages to make them jealous enough to break up. Mother can't stop complaining she missed her prom because dad was still drunk from a mates night boozing before...
Wed, Dec 1, 2004
Mother Carol is disappointed neither Parker nor Penny wants to go out dining with the parents as 'special quint day' anymore, so she tricks dad into going to the diner exactly when Parker is there with his date Eliza, even reserves the table next to them; to both boys' horror, her interference only makes the girl insist they pull the tables together and enjoy embarrassing memories. Paige dates unattractive banker's son Hugo, whose inheritance makes him appear physically attractive in her bird brain, so Penny dares her to go out with him at her own expense. Patton goes help foxy Chelsea with her PC, but her mastiff dog Twinkle proves an overprotective bodyguard, so he gets Pierce to come along and entertain the dog. When dad explains to ma how she's only driving Parker away, she transfers her 'quality time' to Bob.
Wed, Dec 22, 2004
Dad Bob Chase is delighted one of the TV show who hovered around the quints as babies plans to make a 'where are they now' on their family, but when Patton makes him aware producer Mark Lawrence also makes reality TV, they two hope to convince him to make one about the Chases. They fear all-American athlete Parker is too tame, so dad sets his 'boring' best son up as a weed addict. Ma can only be persuaded to participate if she has a career again, so Bob pays her former boss to 'hire' her back in publishing. Pearce melts when told his adored Alayna has broken up with her boyfriend. Patton sees an opportunity to cast a sexy, camera-horny girlfriend, but picks one too stupid even to remember his name properly. Things go even worse once the recording starts, and about that reality concept...
Wed, Jul 14, 2004
The Chases' car has had it, but father Bob has a great idea: they can earn a new mono-volume just like they got their old '5-mobile', by making another quintuplet-commercial, the same car company is interested. Alas the reason they stopped doing commercials hasn't changed either: they must do an audition against the perfect, blond Helberg quintuplets, mercilessly managed by greedy, arrogant father Francis who never looses. Parker refuses to do a car commercial because of his Greenpeace-minded girlfriend, so Paige's brainless boyfriend Tyler pretends to be Parker. The Helbergs get the job because the Chases fight hopelessly, but when bossy Francis 'fires' his son Chase for becoming Penny's boyfriend, even five nincompoops are better then four stars to play quintuplets...