Throughout the course of history, many things have been crafted in the interest of making life better for man kind. Some have made life easier for us all, like plumbing or electricity. Other creations have entertained us and may have enlightened our souls. Great works of art for instance
Even certain films have bought joy to many peoples lives and I can confidently state that "Black Spring Break 2: The Sequel" must be the excrement of those previously mentioned accomplishments.
Not to be negative, but fun is fun, and this movie is about as fun as being a chunk of human cheddar in a giant cheese grater.
I won't knock anybody for lack of budget. If the movie doesn't look up to the "Hollywood" standard, that's fine As a matter of fact, that IS what independent film-making is all about; being able to express an original idea without having to conform to the pre conceived ideas of the establishment. I'm all for that! That's what keeps the industry on it's toes. But this film is the reason why the studios don't just hand out money for a new point of view. This very film. If I had to argue a case for my opinion in a hypothetical court of law, I would have only one piece of evidence at my disposal this pitiful, meandering, dysfunctional, detestable pile of wasted DV tapes.
Sorry, I really needed to get that out of my system. I figured that since the folks that put together this little pearl in an ocean of cinematic medical waste, tortured me with over an hour of meaningless plot, achingly bad acting, amateur editing and worst of all wretched, wretched sound, that the least I could do, be constructive. Note to the crew: If you're going to film at the beach, use directional mikes, so you don't pick up as much of the waves crashing, and instead, maybe a touch more of the dialogue. Don't get me wrong, the dialogue wasn't worth hearing anyway, but at least maybe if you recorded it right I wouldn't have to strain to find out it was written by children, on toilet paper. On the visual front, it was obviously digital. Like I've stated earlier, I don't fault people for a low budget. You get the best camera you can afford, and you dive in. But for future reference, before you dive in, maybe you should lean how to focus the camera properly. Perhaps you could even figure that tricky exposure button out, too That's only if you get the chance, let's work on one problem at a time here, and for now the problem is the focus. Concentrate.
O.K., now that you got that down, I'll leave the filmmakers alone and focus on the real villains at the Starz network. At some point, a man in an office received this film, viewed it, I'm assuming in its entirety, and then traded good, real money for the "right" to unleash it on an innocent planet, which did nothing to harm him. Or maybe it did. Maybe whoever purchased this opus was so distraught by a world that shunned him that he decided to set loose this terrible scourge on the rest of his fellow humans. I doubt that's what did it, but at least it's a theory, and unfortunately it's the only one that I have on why, why, oh god why this travesty was aired. In conclusion: This film will cause nausea, dizziness and a serious bout of general malaise. Avoid at all costs, or suffer consequences.
Not to be negative, but fun is fun, and this movie is about as fun as being a chunk of human cheddar in a giant cheese grater.
I won't knock anybody for lack of budget. If the movie doesn't look up to the "Hollywood" standard, that's fine As a matter of fact, that IS what independent film-making is all about; being able to express an original idea without having to conform to the pre conceived ideas of the establishment. I'm all for that! That's what keeps the industry on it's toes. But this film is the reason why the studios don't just hand out money for a new point of view. This very film. If I had to argue a case for my opinion in a hypothetical court of law, I would have only one piece of evidence at my disposal this pitiful, meandering, dysfunctional, detestable pile of wasted DV tapes.
Sorry, I really needed to get that out of my system. I figured that since the folks that put together this little pearl in an ocean of cinematic medical waste, tortured me with over an hour of meaningless plot, achingly bad acting, amateur editing and worst of all wretched, wretched sound, that the least I could do, be constructive. Note to the crew: If you're going to film at the beach, use directional mikes, so you don't pick up as much of the waves crashing, and instead, maybe a touch more of the dialogue. Don't get me wrong, the dialogue wasn't worth hearing anyway, but at least maybe if you recorded it right I wouldn't have to strain to find out it was written by children, on toilet paper. On the visual front, it was obviously digital. Like I've stated earlier, I don't fault people for a low budget. You get the best camera you can afford, and you dive in. But for future reference, before you dive in, maybe you should lean how to focus the camera properly. Perhaps you could even figure that tricky exposure button out, too That's only if you get the chance, let's work on one problem at a time here, and for now the problem is the focus. Concentrate.
O.K., now that you got that down, I'll leave the filmmakers alone and focus on the real villains at the Starz network. At some point, a man in an office received this film, viewed it, I'm assuming in its entirety, and then traded good, real money for the "right" to unleash it on an innocent planet, which did nothing to harm him. Or maybe it did. Maybe whoever purchased this opus was so distraught by a world that shunned him that he decided to set loose this terrible scourge on the rest of his fellow humans. I doubt that's what did it, but at least it's a theory, and unfortunately it's the only one that I have on why, why, oh god why this travesty was aired. In conclusion: This film will cause nausea, dizziness and a serious bout of general malaise. Avoid at all costs, or suffer consequences.
