Mon, Sep 14, 1992
Now unemployed, Bill is late for her signing-on appointment thanks to a phone call from Bette, and the car breaks down on the way to the DHSS office. She gets a mechanic to fix it, but he is whisked away by Anneka Rice for her 'Challenge Anneka' television show and Bill gets pulled over by the police pushing the car through a red light. Finally she makes her appointment to be interviewed by the infantile Janice, but eventually agrees to take a job with Rona at a factory supplying catering packs. Meanwhile, Ben takes on an assistant, abrasive Christine, who soon falls out with an arrogant female customer. Back home after her trying day, Bill falls asleep on the settee--missing the local TV news bulletin which reports Angelo's death in a road accident.
Mon, Oct 26, 1992
Rona takes the bus to her wedding and gets into conversation with a garrulous old lady,Peggy. The more Peggy talks to her the more Rona feels she should not be getting married and,on arrival at the church,finds so many of her ex-boyfriends in the congregation that she cannot go through with it and runs out on Gordon. David meanwhile lies unconscious,Bill blaming herself for not listening when he said he was ill and Ben feeling guilty for not taking him for his tetanus shot. David imagines that Angelo appears to him telling him it is his decision whether to live or die but after Ben has told his comatose son how loved he is David regains consciousness and throws up on his father.
Sun, Dec 25, 1994
On Christmas Eve - having ended up with four trees - Bill is amazed when the message 'Is That You,Bill?' appears on David's computer and cannot be switched off. In reply to cryptic messages Bill cripples the country's television transmission and causes bad weather,discovering to her horror that she has the power to make anything she wants happen. After Rona has got in on the act by summoning three scantily-clad and extremely puzzled young marines it suddenly dawns on the family who the 'Bill' is whose wires have inadvertently crossed with David's computer. Before anything else can happen the family flees to a French chateau for a rendition of the song Relaxez-Vous.
Wed, Dec 18, 1996
Bill is left a heavy antique wardrobe and its content, a mink coat,by a deceased aunt. Though opposed in principle to fur coats she cannot resist trying it on but when Jenny comes in she hides in the wardrobe - which is promptly taken to an auction. Bill manages to escape but walks straight into an anti-fur demonstration headed by Jenny. Ben,suffering from menopausal depression,goes missing whilst Rona,disappointed to learn that her pregnancy symptoms are actually diabetes,finds an abandoned baby in the hospital grounds.
Sun, Oct 1, 1995
Unlike the rest of the family Bill is opposed to the National Lottery and only wants to do her paperwork whilst the rest of the Porters watch the live draw and speculate on what they would do with their winnings. She suddenly realizes that she must have washed Ben's jeans without taking the ticket out of the pocket and rushes off with Rona to buy a replacement - which inadvertently causes Clive's parents to get arrested. It seems that Christine actually had Ben's ticket all along but Bill gets a shock when she hears the numbers called.
Mon, Dec 21, 1992
Whilst Rona spends Christmas alone,all her ex-boyfriends being otherwise engaged, the Porters spend the season with Bette and they hate it, Bill recalls painful childhood Christmas times whilst Ben imagines himself in a scene from 'Misery' with Bette breaking his legs and tying him to a bed to make him stay at her house. They have to watch TV shows they hate,play Consequences - which only David finds funny - and suffer the heating on full blast. Bill tries to explain to her mother her feelings but things start to look up when Bette,hypnotized by the tree lights,falls into a trance. As the titles roll the cast perform Christmas songs.
Sun, Sep 4, 1994
The house is in chaos - builders are still modifying the kitchen to the health inspector's standard and David is running a sideline in providing cockroaches to school-friends. At least Jenny is happy with new boyfriend Clive,whose parents,Laura and Harry,invite Bill and Ben for dinner. The evening goes well - until the Porters find that they have accidentally brought some of David's cockroaches with them. Next day Harry and Laura pay a surprise visit - and discover Bill and Ben trying to stab a massive inflatable pope which Ben picked up at a boot sale and will not deflate itself.
Sun, Oct 2, 1994
The new kitchen is now complete but Bill is too busy working to listen to Jenny,worried that her performance at the school concert will be overshadowed by the buxom Charlene and her Madonna impression. Fortunately Ben and David come to her rescue as the trio wow the audience with their Blues Brothers number. Bill meanwhile goes to visit Rona and finds two escaped snakes in the living-room. With Tony worn out by Rona and asleep upstairs the two women are trapped against the wall until Bill looks out of the window and sees that her house is on fire. She takes drastic action to escape into the street.
Sun, Sep 25, 1994
Bill is laid up with flu,aware that the household cannot function without her and biding her time by listening in on Jenny's phone calls and spying on Rona in her renewed attempt to get pregnant by Tony - which results in a paranoid Rona believing Tony's ex-wife is stalking him. Ben is looking after Snowball, the Grimes' cat, whilst they are on holiday and ends up crossing town and getting very dirty and dishevelled in pursuit of the wandering feline. He gets it back to the house - but is it Snowball? And if not why is a muffled mewing coming from somewhere in the newly decorated kitchen?
Mon, Sep 27, 1993
Bill and Rona are catering for a wedding reception and Jenny agrees to help but,having just split with Jason,she is depressed and careless and drops things. Christine also assists but is short-tempered and abrasive as ever. Rona has good luck though when she spots the handsome DJ Tony and decides he is going to be the father of her child. Tina crashes in,upset as she suspects Brian of having an affair. Bill rings the mysterious number on his mobile phone and speaks to the other woman but lies to Tina to spare her feelings. However Tina soon learns the truth. Jenny gets back with Jason but Bill's trying day does not end when she gets home and finds Ben,locked out of the house after forgetting his key,has taken out the bedroom window.