"If I Had a Million" is an interesting pre-code anthology film that comprises eight short stories, smartly directed by seven different filmmakers and brought to life by numerous talented writers, including the legendary Joseph L. Mankiewicz. The stellar cast boasts luminaries like Gary Cooper, Charles Laughton, George Raft, and W. C. Fields, ensuring a truly A-list cinematic experience.
The framing story revolves around John Glidden (Richard Bennett), a curmudgeon multi-millionaire industrialist, who receives a terminal diagnosis from his doctor. Disdainful of his money-grubbing relatives and with no regard for his employees, Glidden decides to make a radical choice. He resolves to give away one million dollars-a staggering equivalent of twenty million dollars in today's currency-to complete strangers chosen randomly from a phone book.
The film's eight episodes offer a mixed bag of narratives, each deserving its own appraisal:
"China Shop" (Grade: B-): A rather slim comedic tale follows Peabody (Charles Ruggles), an employee in a China shop perpetually plagued by breakages deducted from his paycheck. Additionally, he endures a shrewish wife. When Glidden's check comes his way, Peabody seeks retribution by smashing the entire shop. Though a somewhat meager revenge fantasy, it boasts some visually pleasing moments.
"Violet" (Grade: B): While the story may not be particularly rich, it is intriguing for its portrayal of a prostitute character, later uncommon after the production code's implementation. Violet Smith (Wynne Gibson) uses her windfall to check into a luxurious hotel, finding solace in her solitary slumber. The tale poignantly emphasizes the sadness of a prostitute's life, suggesting that loneliness can be preferable to enduring mistreatment by men.
"The Forger" (Grade: B+): Eddie Jackson (George Raft), a skilled check forger facing life imprisonment after four convictions, is unable to cash Glidden's check at the bank due to being a wanted man. The episode carries an air of suspense akin to Alfred Hitchcock's works. Reduced to destitution, Jackson uses the check as 10 cents collateral to spend a night at a flophouse. However, a series of unexpected events lead to the destruction of the check and his further misfortune.
"Road Hogs" (Grade: B): This farcical episode follows Emily La Rue (Alison Skipworth), an ex-Vaudevillian performer, and her partner Rollo (W. C. Fields) as they run a tearoom. After her dream car gets totaled by a reckless driver, Glidden's check becomes her saving grace. La Rue devises an amusing plan to wreak havoc on road hogs by purchasing numerous jalopies and hiring men to ram into the reckless drivers. Despite some extended accident scenes and Fields' trademark obnoxious quips, the episode delights in showcasing those vintage cars.
"Death Cell" (Grade: B-): John Wallace (Gene Raymond) awaits execution on death row. Instead of ranting, I wondered why Wallace doesn't make more of an effort to leave a will to his wife; instead he deludes himself into believing he can buy a new trial with the money from Glidden. Finding himself facing the electric chair with unfulfilled hopes, Wallace comes off as pathetic with his histrionic rants.
"The Clerk" (Grade: C): Among the least successful episodes, "The Clerk" revolves around Phineas Lambert (Charles Laughton), who merely gives his boss a raspberry after receiving the check. The episode feels rather inconsequential and doesn't carry the same impact as the other stories.
"The Three Marines" (Grade: B+): Steve Gallagher (Gary Cooper) and his two army buddies land in the stockade after a fight on April Fool's Day. Initially dismissing the check as a prank, Gallagher eventually tells the waitress at a diner the check is worth $10 and uses it to pay for the meal there. This allows him to go on a date with her at a carnival. However, they end up back in the stockade after another altercation at the carnival. The twist reveals Gallagher's folly, as he witnesses the waitress and her boss stepping out of a luxurious limousine, dressed in expensive attire.
"Grandma" (Grade: A): Undoubtedly the most heartwarming of the episodes, "Grandma" features May Hobson's brilliant performance as Mary Walker, a defiant elderly resident of an old-age home. Empowered by Glidden's check, she rebels against the tyrannical director, who has made their lives devoid of joy. By paying the director to spend her days rocking in a chair, she restores a sense of agency and happiness to the elderly residents. This poignant episode sheds light on the loneliness experienced by many elderly individuals, leading lives of quiet desperation.
As the narrative progresses, Glidden's transformation from a curmudgeon into a compassionate philanthropist unfolds, infusing the film with a renewed sense of purpose. "If I Had a Million" serves as a thought-provoking reflection of life during the Depression era, though not all segments reach the same heights, they collectively manage to captivate and hold your interest throughout the film.
The framing story revolves around John Glidden (Richard Bennett), a curmudgeon multi-millionaire industrialist, who receives a terminal diagnosis from his doctor. Disdainful of his money-grubbing relatives and with no regard for his employees, Glidden decides to make a radical choice. He resolves to give away one million dollars-a staggering equivalent of twenty million dollars in today's currency-to complete strangers chosen randomly from a phone book.
The film's eight episodes offer a mixed bag of narratives, each deserving its own appraisal:
"China Shop" (Grade: B-): A rather slim comedic tale follows Peabody (Charles Ruggles), an employee in a China shop perpetually plagued by breakages deducted from his paycheck. Additionally, he endures a shrewish wife. When Glidden's check comes his way, Peabody seeks retribution by smashing the entire shop. Though a somewhat meager revenge fantasy, it boasts some visually pleasing moments.
"Violet" (Grade: B): While the story may not be particularly rich, it is intriguing for its portrayal of a prostitute character, later uncommon after the production code's implementation. Violet Smith (Wynne Gibson) uses her windfall to check into a luxurious hotel, finding solace in her solitary slumber. The tale poignantly emphasizes the sadness of a prostitute's life, suggesting that loneliness can be preferable to enduring mistreatment by men.
"The Forger" (Grade: B+): Eddie Jackson (George Raft), a skilled check forger facing life imprisonment after four convictions, is unable to cash Glidden's check at the bank due to being a wanted man. The episode carries an air of suspense akin to Alfred Hitchcock's works. Reduced to destitution, Jackson uses the check as 10 cents collateral to spend a night at a flophouse. However, a series of unexpected events lead to the destruction of the check and his further misfortune.
"Road Hogs" (Grade: B): This farcical episode follows Emily La Rue (Alison Skipworth), an ex-Vaudevillian performer, and her partner Rollo (W. C. Fields) as they run a tearoom. After her dream car gets totaled by a reckless driver, Glidden's check becomes her saving grace. La Rue devises an amusing plan to wreak havoc on road hogs by purchasing numerous jalopies and hiring men to ram into the reckless drivers. Despite some extended accident scenes and Fields' trademark obnoxious quips, the episode delights in showcasing those vintage cars.
"Death Cell" (Grade: B-): John Wallace (Gene Raymond) awaits execution on death row. Instead of ranting, I wondered why Wallace doesn't make more of an effort to leave a will to his wife; instead he deludes himself into believing he can buy a new trial with the money from Glidden. Finding himself facing the electric chair with unfulfilled hopes, Wallace comes off as pathetic with his histrionic rants.
"The Clerk" (Grade: C): Among the least successful episodes, "The Clerk" revolves around Phineas Lambert (Charles Laughton), who merely gives his boss a raspberry after receiving the check. The episode feels rather inconsequential and doesn't carry the same impact as the other stories.
"The Three Marines" (Grade: B+): Steve Gallagher (Gary Cooper) and his two army buddies land in the stockade after a fight on April Fool's Day. Initially dismissing the check as a prank, Gallagher eventually tells the waitress at a diner the check is worth $10 and uses it to pay for the meal there. This allows him to go on a date with her at a carnival. However, they end up back in the stockade after another altercation at the carnival. The twist reveals Gallagher's folly, as he witnesses the waitress and her boss stepping out of a luxurious limousine, dressed in expensive attire.
"Grandma" (Grade: A): Undoubtedly the most heartwarming of the episodes, "Grandma" features May Hobson's brilliant performance as Mary Walker, a defiant elderly resident of an old-age home. Empowered by Glidden's check, she rebels against the tyrannical director, who has made their lives devoid of joy. By paying the director to spend her days rocking in a chair, she restores a sense of agency and happiness to the elderly residents. This poignant episode sheds light on the loneliness experienced by many elderly individuals, leading lives of quiet desperation.
As the narrative progresses, Glidden's transformation from a curmudgeon into a compassionate philanthropist unfolds, infusing the film with a renewed sense of purpose. "If I Had a Million" serves as a thought-provoking reflection of life during the Depression era, though not all segments reach the same heights, they collectively manage to captivate and hold your interest throughout the film.