Parker (2013)
6/10
Not terrible, not great.
16 August 2022
It had its value as a action film. Kept me watching. Always enjoy Statham even when the film is just so so. But even for him the physical prowess he displayed was less than I'm used to. Don't get me wrong, it's Statham. So you see plenty of fighting. But he wasn't quite the untouchable fighter you might have come to expect. Still, very much unstoppable, tho.

The violence was extra bloody. Quite frankly, it was indulgent. And I don't mean in the moral sense. I mean in the-they could have definitely spent less money on blood and saved themselves the embarrassment of how fake it looked-sense. Eek! Pretty bad cgi blood that really wasn't necessary. It just felt like bts, they were like "we just want a big mess to clean up post-production! Bring out the ketchup bottles! And then go find someone cheap to animate the blood we can't fake with the ketchup!"

Nick Nolte's character and his "daughter, Claire" turned out to be fairly unnecessary. They had so much prominent screen time in the beginning only to have nothing to do with the rest of the more integral parts of the film. Alternatively, made no sense for Lopez's character to come in so late and essentially become the leading lady that Claire started out being. Lopez was not in any way the "Mrs. Smith" they make her out look like in the poster. Far from it.

They could have easily condensed the two female leads into one. They painted Claire very intentionally as Parker's one and only love and then suddenly she's inexplicably absent from the rest of the movie (save for one last contrived scene with the character). But then there's this back and forth sexual tension between Parker and Lopez's character that also amounts to nothing. So no love triangle. No significance. Leaving me to ask "why?" Why to any of it? Just why? Let Parker and Lopez's character just be partners in crime. Or let them be lovers, idk...just give us some well-developed characters and their relationships with interactions that make sense.

Lopez should have just been Claire, or nix Claire altogether and just bring in Lopez's character sooner. Or fuse the two! Claire was a pretty blah character. Nothing about her was interesting or important.

I find movies about high principled criminals a little tough to take seriously, as well as, finding it difficult to root for anyone when everyone deserves to be behind bars. But that's why you cast an actor fans are going to automatically root for...who's not gonna root for Statham?

I always prefer less nudity, as in none, but that's just me and, to whoever else reading this that agrees, fair warning, there are a few shots of boobs.

Everything else about the film was solid for what it is.
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