Charlie's Farm:
Slasher Genre movie.
Things I learned.
About Charlie: 1. Charlie has iridescent, yellow irises which are never explained.
2. Charlie has existed on this ranch for decades yet he wear clothes and boots that fit him perfectly. You would think that a seven foot, 350 pound horribly disfigured man would find it difficult to find clothes but apparently not. He must buy in bulk through the catalog "Deformed Man Mountain Clothing".
3. Charlie as a small boy displayed rotten teeth. Even decades later with obviously no dental regime, he still has a mouth full of rotten teeth. I would think by now all he would have are the gums and his cannibalistic days are in the past. Oatmeal time!
4. In one scene as an adult, we see the deformity of the spine. Obviously the vertebral column is no longer attached to the pelvis and how he is able to be standing straight and walking is truly a miracle! Praise the Lord!
5. Charlie brandishes a very unique weapon, one that would not be available for purchase from a store. So he obviously took up mining, smelting, blacksmithing, wood working, all to create said weapon. People refer to him as a "retarded"?
6. It is amazing how Charlie has not succumbed to infection during the decades his sores and wounds have been seeping.
7. As in the sport of body building, Charlie loves to oil himself up. I have no idea why but every one else in the movie does not exhibit a bead of sweat or oily skin. He does have a large supply of 10W30, 10W40 and 10W50 in all the derelict autos littering the ranch. Someone mentions that nothing has been disturbed in 50 years. Well no one seems to notice many cars are NOT 50 years old!
8. I must say that Charlie has a wonderful attitude towards life. He truly, obviously enjoys what he does because of his laughing and giggling. He did give up that promising career as a care taker of the elderly in a geriatric facility to stay on the ranch to assure a homicidal manic would ALWAYS be available when needed. His father would have been proud!
9. I LAUGH at your puny point blank discharge of a gun into my torso!
The idiots: 1. One realizes and extrapolates very quickly that the four main characters have an aggregate I. Q. of 213. One wonders why Charlie is referred to as the "Retard"?
2. What my friends really are receptive to. I suggest that for a vacation I want us to traverse to the former home of John Wayne Gacy, in which he murdered and buried 26 young men in the earth under the house. I just want to find "Something really cool!" DUH!
3. Let us just take into account this is just an idiotic idea, but let us disregard an entire bar full of people warning you not to go there. We will then disregard a good friend warning us not to go there because it is dangerous. We will go anyway because we are immensely stupid.
4. Never react to a seven foot deformed, homicidal maniac standing in the room in which you are sleeping, staring at you. Just look at him for 10 seconds, don't yell or scream, just fall back to sleep!
5. When someone points out to you that "He's huge!". You naturally turn to see a seven foot tall, wound and sore seeping, oiled, yellowed eyed, deformed man carrying a huge bladed weapon staring at you. You immediately get out of the water nude and walk up to him and proceed to announce that he is "Retarded". Are you surprised he wacks (LOL er..), with one blow (LOL er..) with one deft cleave, severs your penis, picks it up and shoves it in your mouth. I wish this would have occurred after just introducing this character in the movie.
6. This is the largest, flaccid penis in the history of mankind. Take a look at what gets stuffed into his mouth, it is the size of a ten pound brausaugger!
7. When you are the only person still breathing and find yourself being rescued by an elderly gentleman that earlier had warned you not to come, always stop and loudly berate him instead of getting your ass out of danger!
I see Charlie as a very necessary part of the Eco-system. As with other predators which maintain the population of other species, Charlie hacks and hews and releases from their mortal coil, extremely imbecilic humans. He is doing homo sapiens a service by removing these MANY moron from the gene pool before they propagate. If only we had a Charlie in every neighborhood. The world would be a much better place!
Things I learned.
About Charlie: 1. Charlie has iridescent, yellow irises which are never explained.
2. Charlie has existed on this ranch for decades yet he wear clothes and boots that fit him perfectly. You would think that a seven foot, 350 pound horribly disfigured man would find it difficult to find clothes but apparently not. He must buy in bulk through the catalog "Deformed Man Mountain Clothing".
3. Charlie as a small boy displayed rotten teeth. Even decades later with obviously no dental regime, he still has a mouth full of rotten teeth. I would think by now all he would have are the gums and his cannibalistic days are in the past. Oatmeal time!
4. In one scene as an adult, we see the deformity of the spine. Obviously the vertebral column is no longer attached to the pelvis and how he is able to be standing straight and walking is truly a miracle! Praise the Lord!
5. Charlie brandishes a very unique weapon, one that would not be available for purchase from a store. So he obviously took up mining, smelting, blacksmithing, wood working, all to create said weapon. People refer to him as a "retarded"?
6. It is amazing how Charlie has not succumbed to infection during the decades his sores and wounds have been seeping.
7. As in the sport of body building, Charlie loves to oil himself up. I have no idea why but every one else in the movie does not exhibit a bead of sweat or oily skin. He does have a large supply of 10W30, 10W40 and 10W50 in all the derelict autos littering the ranch. Someone mentions that nothing has been disturbed in 50 years. Well no one seems to notice many cars are NOT 50 years old!
8. I must say that Charlie has a wonderful attitude towards life. He truly, obviously enjoys what he does because of his laughing and giggling. He did give up that promising career as a care taker of the elderly in a geriatric facility to stay on the ranch to assure a homicidal manic would ALWAYS be available when needed. His father would have been proud!
9. I LAUGH at your puny point blank discharge of a gun into my torso!
The idiots: 1. One realizes and extrapolates very quickly that the four main characters have an aggregate I. Q. of 213. One wonders why Charlie is referred to as the "Retard"?
2. What my friends really are receptive to. I suggest that for a vacation I want us to traverse to the former home of John Wayne Gacy, in which he murdered and buried 26 young men in the earth under the house. I just want to find "Something really cool!" DUH!
3. Let us just take into account this is just an idiotic idea, but let us disregard an entire bar full of people warning you not to go there. We will then disregard a good friend warning us not to go there because it is dangerous. We will go anyway because we are immensely stupid.
4. Never react to a seven foot deformed, homicidal maniac standing in the room in which you are sleeping, staring at you. Just look at him for 10 seconds, don't yell or scream, just fall back to sleep!
5. When someone points out to you that "He's huge!". You naturally turn to see a seven foot tall, wound and sore seeping, oiled, yellowed eyed, deformed man carrying a huge bladed weapon staring at you. You immediately get out of the water nude and walk up to him and proceed to announce that he is "Retarded". Are you surprised he wacks (LOL er..), with one blow (LOL er..) with one deft cleave, severs your penis, picks it up and shoves it in your mouth. I wish this would have occurred after just introducing this character in the movie.
6. This is the largest, flaccid penis in the history of mankind. Take a look at what gets stuffed into his mouth, it is the size of a ten pound brausaugger!
7. When you are the only person still breathing and find yourself being rescued by an elderly gentleman that earlier had warned you not to come, always stop and loudly berate him instead of getting your ass out of danger!
I see Charlie as a very necessary part of the Eco-system. As with other predators which maintain the population of other species, Charlie hacks and hews and releases from their mortal coil, extremely imbecilic humans. He is doing homo sapiens a service by removing these MANY moron from the gene pool before they propagate. If only we had a Charlie in every neighborhood. The world would be a much better place!