Based on the high-scoring reviews, it appears that I need to be more cultured, more intelligent, capable of comprehending deeper meaning, just a better human being all round, then maybe I could appreciate this masterpiece for what it apparently is. Unfortunately, I am deeply lacking in many ways, unable to appreciate its genius and instead found myself wishing I'd watched Babe instead, a pig movie I can understand and endure viewing. The first half an hour starts to tell a story - movies tell stories. Books tell stories. That is the fundamental concept. They have a plot. Characters fleshed out to at least a minimal degree. This does not qualify. The first half hour seems to be a teaser to trick you into thinking you're watching a movie. Gotcha, suckers! Now, I don't want to suggest that it was a GREAT half hour, it was just a mildly interesting plot with the hypnosis/grub/identity theft thing going on, not particularly gripping, well-filmed or well-acted (outside of the main female character). Then it quickly slips into tedium, to the point I had to turn it off, it was actually irritating to the point of physical discomfort. I made it as far as the pig farmer walking around recording sound after sound after sound AFTER SOUND, staring over a woman's shoulder at a store window, dull, annoying scene after dull, annoying scene and then I frantically hit the 'stop' button, actually right after he stared over that female shoulder a split-second longer than I could tolerate. I read a few reviews to make sure I hadn't made a mistake by running screaming from this movie so early on, but I'm confident I made the right decision, considering it seems a lot of people actually walked out of the CINEMA thirty minutes in, having paid good money. I paid nothing, other than with my lost time. Which is more than enough. If you have read reviews at either end of the spectrum, you will have seen that some people found this "movie" to be quite something (which in most cases they can't actually verbalize in any rational manner, but boy, it's just "exquisite" and "profound") so hey, it might be right up your alley if you aren't as empty-headed and dense as me. Some of these reviews compare it to "Tree of Life", so it might just be a genre of acquired taste, as I only made it 3 minutes into THAT gem (that still holds the current record as quickest movie bailout, followed by Baron Munchausen). Many reviews refer to the director's debut "Primer", the Good saying this is more of the same "genius", the Bad saying that his debut movie has given him carte blanche to trot out whatever pig slop he so desires. I am planning on watching it out of sheer curiosity, wondering how many minutes into the movie will have passed before I have to save myself by jumping ship. Read some of the good reviews and the bad; if you find yourself groaning at the good ones and grinning at the bad, you'll have found your answer and will save yourself the agony of enduring any part of this pretentious yawn-fest.
Review of Upstream Color
