Christmas Wedding Planner (2017 TV Movie)
3/10
+3 for competence, -7 for everything else
8 December 2018
Warning: Spoilers
One weird movie. I was expecting this to be worse, and in a more enjoyable way, but it's bad. Not bad in an unwatchable way, either. It's bad in a very puzzling way.

When it appears on the screen that this is based on a Harlequin romance novel, that should give a certain amount of warning about what we're going to see. There will be some hunky guy who will sweep the lead off her feet, and get her past her issues, or get her to see the problems with her current beau.

The story is a passable setup. Our heroine is trying to work as a wedding planner, when she finds that a private investigator has been looking into the groom. Her own concerns lead her to team up with the PI.

That premise should be enough to carve a decent story from. Instead, the movie is mostly fluff, then the plot elements seem more confusing than anything. The supporting characters are almost entirely comic relief, which is really annoying. We get three bridesmaids, each assigned a trait. The last one, who is supposed to be clumsy, looks like she's about 10 years older than the other ones. We get a strangely particular baker. I'm not really sure why he's in the movie at all. And we get a chef, who partly owns a restaurant (or bar? maybe a diner?) that our couple frequents. He also provides lots of talk, and he's supposed to be funny, but it's just a bit confusing. I can ignore most of the bad directorial choices, the pacing problems, the writing and acting problems, even the bizarre sound design choices. But I can't ignore the lack of the basic fundamentals of a romance. The characters have no reason to get together. He seems very aloof for almost the entire movie. She is swept off of her feet by being kissed. They have nothing in common. Suppose that the ending weren't as absurd as it is (you can tell from other reviews - the two people get married after knowing each other for a week or two). If the movie ended with the two deciding to go on a DATE, that MIGHT be reasonable.

In spite of every terrible decision, all of the weird writing and strange events, the baffling passage of time, etc., the move does have a few things going for it. It remains in focus, competently lit, and the sound is clear enough to understand. It moves along at a decent pace, making it watchable. It's a brisk 80-something minutes. Do you want to watch it? Only if you're looking for a Christmas movie odyssey. The Princess Switch was better.
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