Review of The Nun

The Nun (2018)
2/10
The Nun: Actually managed to be worse than I expected
10 November 2018
The Nun is the latest movie in the Conjuring "Universe" and stars franchise lead female Vera Fermiga's sister Taissa.

It tells essentially the origin story of The Conjuring 2 (2016) nun antagonist and truth be told was one which I had high hopes for despite my opinion on the rest of the universe.

The previous movies being Conjuring 1/2 and Annabelle 1/2 accumulated from me a total of 14/40 potential stars so I think its sufficed to say that they haven't exactly blown me away.

I've claimed for years that when it comes to horror Hollywood have thoroughly lost their way and The Nun has done nothing to change my mind. From the Conjuring to Insidious all the high budgeted Hollywood horrors are glossy cliched messes.

Being that I consider "The Nun" to be a suitably creepy and well designed character I figured the movie would at least look the part! When the setting turned out to be a creepy old convent I was positively salivating. What incredible potential this movie had! Now all it needed was some passable writing and we could have a modern day classic here.

Sadly there is no passable writing, there is mindless Hollywood writing. No consistency, no structure, no intelligence just a clusterpoop of random imagery and stupidity.

Potential hobbled, tarred, feathered and kicked down 7 sets of stairs.

The Good:

The "Nun" herself is excellent

The Bad:

Bland cast

Poorly constructed plot

Everything you fear from Hollywood horror

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

Hollywood know how to drop the ball like nobody else

If this had been an indie movie it would have been considerably better

All the talent in the Farmiga family went to Vera

If Jesus ever actually returned and saw crosses everywhere I'm pretty sure he'd have a nervous breakdown
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