"If I Had a Million" is an unusual film. The plot is presented as eight totally unrelated short stories. They are connected by the narrow thread of another story – the overriding one for the film. A multi-millionaire who is dying wants to give away his fortune to perfect strangers. As John Glidden (played by Richard Bennett) says, "I just want somebody to have something worthwhile out of what I spent my life to accumulate." He doesn't want his fortune to go to his lecherous relatives. And, of the thousands of people he employs, he says he can't think of one "that's fit to leave in charge of a peanut stand."
His attorneys say that his relatives would surely break his will if he left everything to strangers, which he said he would like to do. So, his solution is to live long enough to give his fortune away himself. He begins by picking eight names at random from the telephone book, for people to whom he will personally visit to give them certified checks for $1 million. This plot may have been an inspiration for the later TV series, "The Millionaire," that ran on CBS from 1955 to 1960.
The eight short stories within vary from comedy, to drama, to crime, to pathos, and to redemption. Some have lessons, while others are just sporting fun. The film has a number of name actors of the day – the top names each starring in one of the short stories.
A couple of serious stories have clear themes that crime doesn't pay. Those, with George Raft and Gene Raymond, seem a little melodramatic. Most of the rest are slices of life, with some nice humor in several of them. In one, Wynne Gibson plays a hooker, Violet Smith, whose good fortune is her ticket out of the slums. A nice symbolic scene has her renting the most expensive room in a classy hotel and then going to bed by herself to enjoy a night's sleep in luxury.
Charles Ruggles as Henry Peabody, and Charles Laughton as Phineas Lambert, have comedic scenes in which they can escape from the doldrums. Gary Cooper is Steve Gallagher, who, with two fellow Marines (Jack Oakie and Roscoe Karns) can't seem to stay out of the guardhouse. Because of their cut-up nature and goofing off together, Steve doesn't believe Glidden when he gives him a check for $1 million. So, he signs it away to Zeb, the hamburger stand owner for $10 to take waitress Marie (Joyce Compton) to the carnival. The boys begin to wonder later when out of their jail window they see Zeb and Marie all dolled up with a chauffeur-driven car and going out with the sergeant.
The two best short stories within the film also are the longest. Allison Skipworth plays Emily La Rue and W.C. Fields plays Rollo La Rue. They own Emily's Tea Shop. The former vaudeville performers have a happy life, except that their new car was just totaled in a road accident. When Emily gets her check, she and Rollo set out to conquer the road hogs. This ranks among the funniest series of road accidents on film. Some of the collisions were quite hard, and there must have been stunt replacements for the two stars in those crashes.
The last short story ties back into the overall story, as John Glidden seems to be in good health and is off to party with Mrs. Mary Walker (May Robson). This is a social commentary on the fate of widows who were left to be alone and lonely in a rest home for older women. The management is cold and strict on the women. But, when Mary gets her windfall, she buys the place and changes "Idyllwood: a rest place for elderly women." It's now "Idyllwood Club – for members only." And the former cantankerous manager, Mrs. Garvey (played by Blanche Friderici), is now assigned the duty of sitting in a rocking chair and rocking all day for her pay, while the ladies enjoy a new life under Mrs. Walker's kind sponsorship. They turn the place into a home, bakery, card lounge and great place for fellowship and fun.
The film is fun and funny in places, somber and reflective in others. As a very early film since the advent of sound pictures, this RKO production suffers yet from some of the poorer production qualities. The movie credits listed seven directors and eight writers. The film had a banner list of big names of its day, and a whopping cast of more than 80 characters, most of whom had lines of dialog.
His attorneys say that his relatives would surely break his will if he left everything to strangers, which he said he would like to do. So, his solution is to live long enough to give his fortune away himself. He begins by picking eight names at random from the telephone book, for people to whom he will personally visit to give them certified checks for $1 million. This plot may have been an inspiration for the later TV series, "The Millionaire," that ran on CBS from 1955 to 1960.
The eight short stories within vary from comedy, to drama, to crime, to pathos, and to redemption. Some have lessons, while others are just sporting fun. The film has a number of name actors of the day – the top names each starring in one of the short stories.
A couple of serious stories have clear themes that crime doesn't pay. Those, with George Raft and Gene Raymond, seem a little melodramatic. Most of the rest are slices of life, with some nice humor in several of them. In one, Wynne Gibson plays a hooker, Violet Smith, whose good fortune is her ticket out of the slums. A nice symbolic scene has her renting the most expensive room in a classy hotel and then going to bed by herself to enjoy a night's sleep in luxury.
Charles Ruggles as Henry Peabody, and Charles Laughton as Phineas Lambert, have comedic scenes in which they can escape from the doldrums. Gary Cooper is Steve Gallagher, who, with two fellow Marines (Jack Oakie and Roscoe Karns) can't seem to stay out of the guardhouse. Because of their cut-up nature and goofing off together, Steve doesn't believe Glidden when he gives him a check for $1 million. So, he signs it away to Zeb, the hamburger stand owner for $10 to take waitress Marie (Joyce Compton) to the carnival. The boys begin to wonder later when out of their jail window they see Zeb and Marie all dolled up with a chauffeur-driven car and going out with the sergeant.
The two best short stories within the film also are the longest. Allison Skipworth plays Emily La Rue and W.C. Fields plays Rollo La Rue. They own Emily's Tea Shop. The former vaudeville performers have a happy life, except that their new car was just totaled in a road accident. When Emily gets her check, she and Rollo set out to conquer the road hogs. This ranks among the funniest series of road accidents on film. Some of the collisions were quite hard, and there must have been stunt replacements for the two stars in those crashes.
The last short story ties back into the overall story, as John Glidden seems to be in good health and is off to party with Mrs. Mary Walker (May Robson). This is a social commentary on the fate of widows who were left to be alone and lonely in a rest home for older women. The management is cold and strict on the women. But, when Mary gets her windfall, she buys the place and changes "Idyllwood: a rest place for elderly women." It's now "Idyllwood Club – for members only." And the former cantankerous manager, Mrs. Garvey (played by Blanche Friderici), is now assigned the duty of sitting in a rocking chair and rocking all day for her pay, while the ladies enjoy a new life under Mrs. Walker's kind sponsorship. They turn the place into a home, bakery, card lounge and great place for fellowship and fun.
The film is fun and funny in places, somber and reflective in others. As a very early film since the advent of sound pictures, this RKO production suffers yet from some of the poorer production qualities. The movie credits listed seven directors and eight writers. The film had a banner list of big names of its day, and a whopping cast of more than 80 characters, most of whom had lines of dialog.