Spoilers Included!
Humorless. Suspenseless. Good acting-less.
Tarzan is living in England. He has an American wife named.......yeah, we know.....Jane.
He is recruited by Samuel L. Jackson to go to the Congo to figure out how King Leopold of Belgium is financing his expansion there.
Christoph Waltz is the evil Belgian in charge of getting blood diamonds to pay for all the shenanigans.
Tarzan and Waltz collide. Gorillas get hurt. Tarzan has flash backs.
WARNING!!!!! Tarzan and Jane survive. Bad guys get it courtesy of Tarzan's animal family and buddies.
Questions that aren't answered:
Why is Tarzan so disinterested? He seems blasé most of the time. He has less connection with the audience than Rex Herrison in Dr. Doolittle.
Why is Jackson in the movie? If it is for comic relief, it fails. If it is for drama, it fails. If it is for PC bullshit about PTSD and Indians.....there it is. If you have seen one Jackson movie, you've seen them all.....he is an angry man with a chip on his shoulder.
Why is Jane there? Jane is hot but there is zero nakedness. I didn't even see her calves. No sex. No acting evident either.
Why is a pretty good Waltz there? He is single-dimensional.
Why are all the Belgians carrying Swiss Schmidt-Rubins of a model make after the setting of the movie? Must have gotten a deal from surplus dealer SAMCO.
Why is the CGI so unconvincing? Apparently all the good CGI people were tied up doing The Jungle Book and this movie got the B Team.
Why is Tarzan in the movie? Oh, he's the dude playing a dude who can act. It fails. He can't act.
What is the most disturbing aspect of the movie? The preview for Ghostbusters. You can smell the stench of that pile of manure from the access road in front of the theater.
Wait for the Blue Ray.
The Legend of Greystoke can best be summed up in two words: Ho and hum.
Humorless. Suspenseless. Good acting-less.
Tarzan is living in England. He has an American wife named.......yeah, we know.....Jane.
He is recruited by Samuel L. Jackson to go to the Congo to figure out how King Leopold of Belgium is financing his expansion there.
Christoph Waltz is the evil Belgian in charge of getting blood diamonds to pay for all the shenanigans.
Tarzan and Waltz collide. Gorillas get hurt. Tarzan has flash backs.
WARNING!!!!! Tarzan and Jane survive. Bad guys get it courtesy of Tarzan's animal family and buddies.
Questions that aren't answered:
Why is Tarzan so disinterested? He seems blasé most of the time. He has less connection with the audience than Rex Herrison in Dr. Doolittle.
Why is Jackson in the movie? If it is for comic relief, it fails. If it is for drama, it fails. If it is for PC bullshit about PTSD and Indians.....there it is. If you have seen one Jackson movie, you've seen them all.....he is an angry man with a chip on his shoulder.
Why is Jane there? Jane is hot but there is zero nakedness. I didn't even see her calves. No sex. No acting evident either.
Why is a pretty good Waltz there? He is single-dimensional.
Why are all the Belgians carrying Swiss Schmidt-Rubins of a model make after the setting of the movie? Must have gotten a deal from surplus dealer SAMCO.
Why is the CGI so unconvincing? Apparently all the good CGI people were tied up doing The Jungle Book and this movie got the B Team.
Why is Tarzan in the movie? Oh, he's the dude playing a dude who can act. It fails. He can't act.
What is the most disturbing aspect of the movie? The preview for Ghostbusters. You can smell the stench of that pile of manure from the access road in front of the theater.
Wait for the Blue Ray.
The Legend of Greystoke can best be summed up in two words: Ho and hum.