Deep Impact (1998)
1/10
People were really dumb in 1998
18 January 2015
Warning: Spoilers
I was 5 years old when this movie came out in 1998, and vaguely remember it being a big deal, along with Armageddon. Lo and behold, 17 years later I find this "classic" on Netflix. Its Tuesday night and I don't want to start on my homework yet, so I thought I would give this "classic" a view.

Now, I'm not an astronomy major, but I'm pretty sure an Earth killing comet would be spotted by someone other than a group of snotty nose kids in a field, since, yanno, people look for comets all of the time. Furthermore, there is no way the Government, which can't even keep itself funded half of the time could keep the news secret, since eventually you would be able to SEE the comet with your naked eye. Also, blowing a comet up only creates more chucks of ice, that basically equals the mass of the entire comet. Therefore, you would not only still have to deal with the full effects of the impact, but debris would hit more places around the globe.

The science in this movie is bad, but considering this was probably a summer blockbuster aimed at basically stealing 7 bucks from dumb Americans its OK.

What is NOT OK is the acting, and the actions several characters take. There are several characters that behaved so stupidly and unnaturally I couldn't list them all if I tried, so I'll focus on the dumbest. 12 year old Leo, the kid that found the comet gets married (lol) to his 12 year old girlfriend. They are offered a spot underground and will survive the Comet. Leo's girlfriend decides she wants to DIE with her mom and dad. Young Leo can't accept this, and turns away to go get his girlfriend, AFTER YOUNG LEO AND HIS PARENTS HAVE ALREADY TRAVELED TO THE OZART MOUNTAINS IN MISSOURI, THOUSANDS OF MILES FROM THEIR VIRGINIA HOMES. Young Leo's parents say "aww, OK, here is a WATCH SO YOU CAN TRADE WITH PEOPLE ON YOUR WAY 3000 MILES BACK TO OUR OLD HOUSE, BE SAFE SON". What parents in their right minds would allow this. You're sending your 12 year old son out into a world that will be on FIRE I 20 minutes with no realistic way of evening getting out of the parking lot before impact. Also, remember, this girl CHOSE to STAY with her parent and DIE in a tidal wave, rather than be with Leo. I used to be 12 years old, and every girl I meet was the "one". I would never leave a secure location to go be with a girl that would literally rather DIE IN A TIDAL WAVE than LIVE with me.

Anyway, Leo somehow makes it across the country, back to his Virginia house in less than 10 minutes with no means of transportation, and finds his lover in traffic. This time, she RELUCTANTLY agrees to go with him, 10 minutes before the comet slams into the ocean. Young Leo outruns a tidal wave moving 1100 MPH on a scooter. Let me say that again. Young Leo outruns a tidal wave moving at 1100 MPH on a scooter. I guess that makes sense considering he got from the Ozark Mountains in Missouri to Virginia in 10 minutes walking. Maybe HE should have been tasked with blowing up the comet.

Oh, I almost forgot about the ending. The idiots in space nuke the 2nd chuck of comet, "saving" the planet. Like I said before, the energy released from the comet would have the same effect regardless if its a solid body or broken up into chucks. Would you rather have 1000 nuclear bombs explode in one place, or 1000 places? Just Stupid.

I can't believe this movie turned a profit and I can't believe its considered a "classic". Morgan Freeman should demand his name by deleted from the credits. Just imagine watching a bad soap opera, music and all, wrapped in a disaster movie. I didn't even discuss the reporter. Awful. This is what I get for procrastinating on homework.
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