Seventh Son (I) (2014)
2/10
All the white washed, generic, bored fantasy standards you can fit into a single film.
10 January 2015
It's not an awful film but if you want to see something new, anything new, then this isn't the film to look at. The production quality is high; things look good. They're shot well and you can see a lot of time and effort went into creating it. But I have to ask, if you're going to put that much time and effort into a project, why not do something new/fresh/unique/original?

The narrative is more predictable than a Dungeons and Dragons rulebook and when the description for a monster was presented as a "level six monster" I had to take a moment to ensure my jaw wasn't on my lap. The character archetypes walk straight of the pages of any explanation of the Monomyth or Three Act Play. The mentor is a grumpy old man who gets disrespected by everyone but who is 'the most incredible fighter of evil'. The hero is 'the most unlikely candidate' to past the trails of being a Spook. Yes, the greatest warriors against evil are called Spooks – sounds too much like lazy writing to ignore. They have to defeat the 'greatest evil' before the 'blood moon' is full. The most generic fantasy content and lingo.

Some of the dialog was also atrocious. In a fight one character comments "(y)ou know nothing of dragons." This intimidating comment is either completely useless as there are no other reference to dragons and if it turns out that the flying baddies are dragons then the statement is incorrect as the person the comment was aimed at knows the one quite intimately. Another such comment was "his reign of terror". The him that is referred to here holds no station of power beyond the power he claims over any person he faces in single combat, hardly a reign of any kind.

The representation of the antagonists was interesting, visually at least. The master assassin couldn't be bothered to do anything sneaky or stealthily. His 'army of assassins' are incorrectly introduced as, well, assassins when really they're just 'random cannon fodder for the slaughter' to fill in the fight scenes between Lieutenants; yes the bad guys (who are witches) have a queen and she has lieutenants.

The hero goes through the minimal required amount of character development, just like everyone else. Everyone who has to die, dies on cue. The love interest is a shallow relationship that starts with eye contact and ends with betraying their respective parties at one point or another, with little other than a single make out session in between.

I'm looking for a saving grace and I'm having trouble coming up with one. It's like drinking a glass of tap water, not bad but it's not going to tickle your taste buds.
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