6/10
"What a drag"
18 September 2014
After a few years off the radar Jim Jarmusch, director of strange offbeat movies that are really hard to swallow after just one viewing, is back and this time it's with his dour vampire love story Only Lovers Left Alive. Tom Hiddleston and Tilda Swinton play vampire lovers Adam and Eve, respectively. An obtuse reference for sure, but according to Jarmusch was a reference to Mark Twain's satirical work The Diaries of Adam and Eve, rather than the Bible. I don't know. Anyways, Adam is a reclusive underground rocker and Eve is a spirited world traveler. Adam also happens to be the creator of every famous piece of literature and music ever created. The two meet up in Detroit to enjoy each other's company and complain about how awful and unappreciative the world is, bitching about the pathetic and uninspired human population or "zombies" as they're referred to. Characters come in and out as the two lovers mope around Detroit by night, occasionally picking up healthy O-Negative blood from the hospital, and sleep during the day, effectively going nowhere, just like this movie.

I could try to write out a more elaborate synopsis of this film's plot, but honestly there isn't much more to say. Only Lovers Left Alive is a film that goes nowhere because it doesn't want to. It's a slow and somber character piece carried by fine actors who are doing everything they can with what little substance they are given. Hiddleston and Swinton own their roles as these two melancholy vampires who seem to have nothing better to do than talk about how much better they are than the zombies. To put it lightly, Only Lovers Left Alive would have been a steaming pile of horse dung if not for these two strong leads.

The movie starts out really strong. Like, really strong. The spinning overhead shots of Hiddleston and Swinton in their respective homes opens the film with captivating intrigue. I was immediately into the film when it got started. Getting to know these two characters is really fun at first because you see all of the potential of where they might go. Hiddleston is the complete embodiment of everything that is cool and hip. His suave melancholia should be obnoxious but Hiddleston nails it. Then, of course, Swinton is in peak form as always, playing the perfect yin to Hiddleston's yang.

After the first twenty or so minutes I was ready to fall completely in love with Only Lovers Left Alive. I found the characters to be brilliant, the brooding industrial rock score drew me in, and there were some great sequences that made the first act of this film so unique and so compelling. The scene where the vampire characters, Hiddleston, Swinton, and also John Hurt in a great supporting role, indulge in a refreshing shot of human blood which sends them into heroin like ecstasy gave me goosebumps and prepared me for what I expected to be a great rest of the film.

Unfortunately, the film keeps moving along, never straying from its slow glacial pace, and it never feels like we're getting anywhere. If we do get somewhere the result is so subtle and so minuscule that it might as well not even be there. I tried and tried to stay engaged by this movie but a little ways after the hour mark I had to admit that I was beginning to get bored with this film. The novelty of these cooler than cool characters wears off eventually, and by that point I was really ready for some actual storyline and substance. We get little tastes of it here and there, like when Mia Wasikowska comes in as Eve's troublemaking younger sister. This, however, is a consequence that evaporates almost as soon as it arrives. Then, by the end of the film we are left with pretty much nothing except for head scratching and shoulder shrugs.

Now, having seen other Jarmusch films I don't doubt that this is the film he wanted to make. I'm not sure why he's turned to making such empty films, but perhaps they mean something more to this fascinating man. At any rate, Only Lovers Left Alive has a lot of good things going for it, but it doesn't deliver. Most of the time you're waiting for something exciting to finally happen and just when you think it will, it doesn't. It's not a bad movie, but you don't come away feeling much more than you did when you went in.
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