I nominate this film for worst voice-over narration of all time. Director/star Frank Harper sounds like he has been forced to read out the phone book in its entirety. Talk about sleepwalking through a project, and it's his own bleeding film, guvnor. Now, Harper is no Danny Dyer, he more than looks the part when playing the London hard man and has been used to good effect by directors like Nick Love and Shane Meadows. Unfortunately, here he's directing himself in the sort of vanity project that would only get funded by the British film industry. He's recruited a veritable who's who of crap gangster and football hooligan films for St George's Day. And Keeley Hazell who gives one of the worst performances ever committed to celluloid. This truly awful effort takes you into a world of Peckham melts, ageing hooligans who keep going on about the war even though they've never been near one, uncharismatic, perma-tanned villains with a hard on for Churchill and cretinous hanger ons, just there to keep the idiotic plot ticking along. What do you mean, no thanks mate! This film is awesome in its crapness. It has no sense of its own absurdity, takes itself very seriously and is all the funnier for it. The only disappointment is that Danny Dyer doesn't turn up and glass a slag. Let's have a sequel please, set on Christmas Day!
Review of St George's Day
