The behind-the-scenes story behind the casting of Indiana Jones for Raiders of the Lost Ark has become Hollywood folklore. After screen testing and considering dozens of actors, Steven Spielberg and George Lucas opted for TV actor Tom Selleck. Alas, Selleck was contractually tied to his hit TV opus Magnum P.I., which forced him out of contention allowing Harrison Ford to make screen history. Anyone wondering how Selleck would have fared in the role had a chance to see when two years later he appeared in the Raiders knock-off High Road to China...Boy, did Spielberg and company dodge a bullet!
The plot, such as it is, is set in the 1920s and features flapper heiress Bess Armstrong being informed that she will lose her inheritance unless she locates her father (Wilford Brimley) last seen in the wilds of Afghanistan. She hires the services of boozy aviator Selleck to launch a search and a shoddy by-the-numbers adventure/comedy/romance results. See Tom and Bess get off on the wrong foot. See Tom and Bess bicker incessantly. See Tom and Bess make goo-goo eyes. See them bicker some more.
The film's problems are many. First, there is no decent villain. Robert Morley appears as a business partner who throws assorted problems in their path, but he is never a believably menacing adversary and his obstacles never seem more than irritants. Indeed, there is very little actual danger confronting our intrepid twosome, resulting in a dearth of suspense. At no point does it seem the leads are in any real jeopardy, unless it is from nodding off like the viewer.
Some of the scenery is lovely and John Barry contributes his usual reliable score, but therein ends the kudos. The screenplay is filled with groan-worthy dialog and an almost pathological lack of interest. The action sequences are positively stillborn and then film moves at the exhilarating pace of hardening concrete. I swear I grew a full beard by the end of the first hour.
Worst of all are the leads. Armstrong has never been one of my favorite performers and she demonstrates why here. Her heiress is so darn perky, she about bounces off the ceiling. Armstrong and company no doubt find this characteristic endearing, but I find it insufferable. To say she has no chemistry with her leading man is an understatement of gargantuan proportions, but then I am hard pressed to remember ANY leading lady that generated even minimal sparks with Selleck.
Selleck is a disaster. I freely admit, I never got his celebrity or his longevity in the business. He comes across as a handsome lumbering block of wood on screen - completely free of charisma. His idea of comedy is a bargain basement drunk impression and belching in the face of his leading lady. There is zero chemistry with Armstrong and it often appears that he is not even trying. He undergoes everything in the film with such a low wattage effort that he literally lowers the blood pressure of the viewer with each passing frame until one is nearly on the verge of losing consciousness.
With no chemistry between its leads, low-octane performances from its stars, no memorable villain, deadly dull action sequences and dialog penned by a grade-Z hack, this is one flight that viewers should definitely miss.
The plot, such as it is, is set in the 1920s and features flapper heiress Bess Armstrong being informed that she will lose her inheritance unless she locates her father (Wilford Brimley) last seen in the wilds of Afghanistan. She hires the services of boozy aviator Selleck to launch a search and a shoddy by-the-numbers adventure/comedy/romance results. See Tom and Bess get off on the wrong foot. See Tom and Bess bicker incessantly. See Tom and Bess make goo-goo eyes. See them bicker some more.
The film's problems are many. First, there is no decent villain. Robert Morley appears as a business partner who throws assorted problems in their path, but he is never a believably menacing adversary and his obstacles never seem more than irritants. Indeed, there is very little actual danger confronting our intrepid twosome, resulting in a dearth of suspense. At no point does it seem the leads are in any real jeopardy, unless it is from nodding off like the viewer.
Some of the scenery is lovely and John Barry contributes his usual reliable score, but therein ends the kudos. The screenplay is filled with groan-worthy dialog and an almost pathological lack of interest. The action sequences are positively stillborn and then film moves at the exhilarating pace of hardening concrete. I swear I grew a full beard by the end of the first hour.
Worst of all are the leads. Armstrong has never been one of my favorite performers and she demonstrates why here. Her heiress is so darn perky, she about bounces off the ceiling. Armstrong and company no doubt find this characteristic endearing, but I find it insufferable. To say she has no chemistry with her leading man is an understatement of gargantuan proportions, but then I am hard pressed to remember ANY leading lady that generated even minimal sparks with Selleck.
Selleck is a disaster. I freely admit, I never got his celebrity or his longevity in the business. He comes across as a handsome lumbering block of wood on screen - completely free of charisma. His idea of comedy is a bargain basement drunk impression and belching in the face of his leading lady. There is zero chemistry with Armstrong and it often appears that he is not even trying. He undergoes everything in the film with such a low wattage effort that he literally lowers the blood pressure of the viewer with each passing frame until one is nearly on the verge of losing consciousness.
With no chemistry between its leads, low-octane performances from its stars, no memorable villain, deadly dull action sequences and dialog penned by a grade-Z hack, this is one flight that viewers should definitely miss.