Science takes on a big one here: Santa Claus. How does he deliver customized presents to all the good little boys and girls all in one night? You'll finally get precise, detailed explanations for it all. Thus and forever taking all the fun and magic out of Christmas.
You won't get this knowledge, however, without paying a price. A scary guy in women's makeup with a sandpaper voice guides you to Santa's secret lair, which seems to be backdrops created by sixth graders. When you get there, Santa won't have trouble hearing you, 'cuz his hearing aid is huge. After you meet Martha, his wife, you'll listen to Santa explain all the magic away. Then Santa sends you back to where you came from, a land of wood-paneling and trailers, where your husband and a man named Gaylord accuse you of ingesting hallucinogens. You've gotta stop this Gaylord, 'cuz he's got scientific plans of his own - to get crude oil. Santa forgot to file mineral rights claims on his property, so maybe he's not so smart after all. But he seems like a nice guy, even though he's got some sort of little-person enslavement camp going on, so you save him from the evil energy consortium. The End.
You won't get this knowledge, however, without paying a price. A scary guy in women's makeup with a sandpaper voice guides you to Santa's secret lair, which seems to be backdrops created by sixth graders. When you get there, Santa won't have trouble hearing you, 'cuz his hearing aid is huge. After you meet Martha, his wife, you'll listen to Santa explain all the magic away. Then Santa sends you back to where you came from, a land of wood-paneling and trailers, where your husband and a man named Gaylord accuse you of ingesting hallucinogens. You've gotta stop this Gaylord, 'cuz he's got scientific plans of his own - to get crude oil. Santa forgot to file mineral rights claims on his property, so maybe he's not so smart after all. But he seems like a nice guy, even though he's got some sort of little-person enslavement camp going on, so you save him from the evil energy consortium. The End.