The cameraman, or somebody who worked on this movie, knew how to compose creepy-looking shots. Several of them were used for the trailer, and again for the intro on the DVD, and in those places they have the intended effect. But in the movie itself, creepy as they are, they soon start to become amusing on account of the dopey story.
Here's what happens in the movie's first act. First scene: A girl is out running--and sees a creepy thing. Second scene: She goes babysitting--and sees a creepy thing. Third scene: She goes home--and sees a creepy thing. Some of these she sees in her sleep, some not; she has nightmares AND hallucinations AND she's being haunted. And haunted by three different spirits (her brother, her great uncle, and a dybbuk), which is two too many.
One stops being scared as soon as it becomes obvious that the only purpose of every scene is to bring the girl into contact with some new creepy thing--usually Pugsley Addams, or bugs--and after a while one starts guessing which it's going to be and how soon it will pop up. A little way in, she asks, woodenly--she's played by a Jennifer Connelly type with only half the acting ability (which will give you some idea)--"Why is this happening to me?????" I wanted to shout at her--actually I did--"Because you're in a horror movie!!!!!"
In the second act, the girl resorts to the equivalent of a movie attic to rummage through old family documents and get steered to the character who Knows All About It (whose name someone has thoughtfully circled in ink). At first this know-it-all character goes nuts on seeing her ("No!!!!! Not that!!!!!") but later calls her up and asks her over (after midnight!) to get the whole story. This character advises an exorcism, and is even able to recommend a good exorcist--or, well, not really, because he's never done one, but again, he Knows All About It.
On her way to see him, the girl visits a rare book library to look at one of those incredibly huge, leather-bound grimoires of the kind Giles was always consulting on Buffy; and apparently the librarian is as blind as a bat because the girl is able to walk out of the library with it. Her subsequent conversation with the know-it-all rabbi, boiled down, amounts to this:
The remainder of this act consists largely of these two and others being pursued by the evil spirit in the form of dogs, and humans walking like dogs, with their heads put on upside down; I'm not sure of the reason for this. The rabbi still believes nothing strange is going on; dog with its head upside down, all in a day's work. But he agrees to do the exorcism, anyway, enlisting the help of an Episcopal priest (who subjects the girl to another patronizing lecture) and, apparently, his entire basketball team.
The third act is all about the exorcism. In the course of this the dybbuk begins possessing people sequentially, just like the alien in the old Kyle Maclachlan movie, and one after another character suddenly takes on the ugly face (like those TV actresses you haven't seen in years who reappear after cosmetic surgery). Then one of them is pitched over a balcony; and the evil spirit is laid to rest, apparently.
Ah, but this is a horror-movie "apparently"--when an evil spirit is cast out it always comes back, regardless (and the movie never explains why the ritual didn't work). There follows a surprise ending that's no surprise, since the character has already been shown with morning sickness, and then......and then nothing; that's it. Except for the unhappy possibility of an Unborn 2.
P.S. I should mention that it's the theatrical version I've been describing, not the version TOO SHOCKING TO SHOW IN THEATRES. It could be that that one's really good.
...No, it couldn't.
Here's what happens in the movie's first act. First scene: A girl is out running--and sees a creepy thing. Second scene: She goes babysitting--and sees a creepy thing. Third scene: She goes home--and sees a creepy thing. Some of these she sees in her sleep, some not; she has nightmares AND hallucinations AND she's being haunted. And haunted by three different spirits (her brother, her great uncle, and a dybbuk), which is two too many.
One stops being scared as soon as it becomes obvious that the only purpose of every scene is to bring the girl into contact with some new creepy thing--usually Pugsley Addams, or bugs--and after a while one starts guessing which it's going to be and how soon it will pop up. A little way in, she asks, woodenly--she's played by a Jennifer Connelly type with only half the acting ability (which will give you some idea)--"Why is this happening to me?????" I wanted to shout at her--actually I did--"Because you're in a horror movie!!!!!"
In the second act, the girl resorts to the equivalent of a movie attic to rummage through old family documents and get steered to the character who Knows All About It (whose name someone has thoughtfully circled in ink). At first this know-it-all character goes nuts on seeing her ("No!!!!! Not that!!!!!") but later calls her up and asks her over (after midnight!) to get the whole story. This character advises an exorcism, and is even able to recommend a good exorcist--or, well, not really, because he's never done one, but again, he Knows All About It.
On her way to see him, the girl visits a rare book library to look at one of those incredibly huge, leather-bound grimoires of the kind Giles was always consulting on Buffy; and apparently the librarian is as blind as a bat because the girl is able to walk out of the library with it. Her subsequent conversation with the know-it-all rabbi, boiled down, amounts to this:
- Where did you steal this book from?
- Shut up, I'm being haunted by a dybbuk.
- Now, now, that's only a story invented by ignorant people like yourself. I've written a book on the subject....
- Shut up, I'm being haunted by a dybbuk.
- No, you're not. And if you were I wouldn't know how to get rid of it. And if I did it still wouldn't work because you're a heathen.
- Shut up and translate the book.
- Go soak your head.
- Shut up and translate the book, I'm being haunted by a dybbuk.
- Oh, okay.
The remainder of this act consists largely of these two and others being pursued by the evil spirit in the form of dogs, and humans walking like dogs, with their heads put on upside down; I'm not sure of the reason for this. The rabbi still believes nothing strange is going on; dog with its head upside down, all in a day's work. But he agrees to do the exorcism, anyway, enlisting the help of an Episcopal priest (who subjects the girl to another patronizing lecture) and, apparently, his entire basketball team.
The third act is all about the exorcism. In the course of this the dybbuk begins possessing people sequentially, just like the alien in the old Kyle Maclachlan movie, and one after another character suddenly takes on the ugly face (like those TV actresses you haven't seen in years who reappear after cosmetic surgery). Then one of them is pitched over a balcony; and the evil spirit is laid to rest, apparently.
Ah, but this is a horror-movie "apparently"--when an evil spirit is cast out it always comes back, regardless (and the movie never explains why the ritual didn't work). There follows a surprise ending that's no surprise, since the character has already been shown with morning sickness, and then......and then nothing; that's it. Except for the unhappy possibility of an Unborn 2.
P.S. I should mention that it's the theatrical version I've been describing, not the version TOO SHOCKING TO SHOW IN THEATRES. It could be that that one's really good.
...No, it couldn't.