District 9 (2009)
2/10
Disappointing...
6 September 2009
Warning: Spoilers
I had heard enough about this South African film to know that it was an allegory about the Apartheid period. And I'm a huge fan of intelligent sci-fi. What could go wrong? Everything. Can I have those two hours back? The first 20 minutes was interesting. The lead character is portrayed as a passive-aggressive racist who is a part of the problem, smooths over police violence in front of the press, and fails utterly to comprehend the situation around him. In short, he's marked for death. He's the red-shirted security guy beaming down with Kirk and you just know his minutes are numbered. But when something bad does happen to him the movie's logic goes off the rails and melts into a steaming pile of a cheap Chuck Norris action flick where rifles blaze, grenades explode, and there's no motive to any of it other than just to blow sh*t up for the twelve year old kids in the audience.

Question. If you were making an allegory about Apartheid why would your clueless, selfish, white guy racist jailer be the hero and liberator of the oppressed black people? I should think that in the 21st century old ideas about the White Man's Burden is more than just offensive; it's also a tired cliché. The jailer bureaucrat's only motive seems selfish: he just wants to go back to his old self.

The sadistic villain is like a bad penny. He just keeps showing up in every other scene, fires off about a million rounds without hitting the hapless hero, and doesn't have the horse sense to call in enough backup to handle the escalating violence.

I'm supposed to believe that the Most Wanted Man in the Universe, with his picture all over television, can use his old access codes to break into a maximum security biology weapon lab and run off with alien rocket fuel? The plot holes get bigger and bigger, which is forgivable if the story is reasonable. Yet, the problem here is that there are no likable characters at all in the entire film. Also, the violence is way too gratuitous and serves no purpose.

I can't think of anything good to say other than to save your money and don't waste your time on this one.
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