Review of The Lair of the White Worm

I've never been a great admirer of the oeuvre of Ken Russell (with the exception of "The Devils" which is a genuine cult classic), but I have always been a great admirer of utterly demented and nonsensical movies that are so far out there you won't believe your own eyes. And "Lair of the White Worm" is definitely as far out as it gets; rest assured. The film may very well have been inspired by Bram Stoker's novel, but I heavily suspect that Ken Russell improvised pretty much the entire script on the set itself. This movie is unimaginably random and really just jumps from one topic onto another without the slightest form of coherence or logic. "Lair of the White Worm" is a cheesy horror flick, but also an erotic fantasy as well as a provocative black comedy. I'm pretty sure half of the plot escaped me, either because I was too flabbergasted by the campy visual effects or simply because there wasn't much of a plot to follow. The film opens with a Scottish archaeologist – with an awesome accent - digging up a prehistoric skull that might be the ultimate proof that the local folklore legend of the D'Ampton Worn is true. The ancestor of Lord James D'Ampton allegedly killed the gigantic snake/dragon-like creature by cutting it into two halves and there are annual festivities to celebrate this bizarre historical event. But nobody knows that the sexy yet oddly behaving neighbor Lady Sylvia Marsh, who lives in the nearby Temple House, is actually an immortal cult sorceress who has the reincarnation of the White Worm living in a pit underneath her house. Okay, admittedly this synopsis doesn't make any sense, but – trust me – it'll make even less sense if you actually watch the movie. It doesn't matter, though, as there are far too many enjoyable and over-the-top absurd sequences in this movie to get upset about the shortcomings. The perverted sexual undertones in "Lair of the White Worm" are almost too incredible for words. Lady Marsh seduces an unsuspecting boy scout and gives him a bath (!) before killing him and her idea of virginal sacrifice is raping the poor victim with a gigantic put on phallic device. But the absolute greatest thing about this film is that it stars a very young but nevertheless recognizable Hugh Grant! So, who knows, maybe you can even trick your date/girlfriend/wife by telling her it's a romantic comedy! They might not appreciate the little joke, but this undeniably will be their only opportunity to watch Hugh hacking up an elderly lady with a sword. Basically, "Lair of the White Worm" is a very bad 80's movie with an incomprehensibly bizarre plot and laughably delirious special effects, but those also happens to be the exact same two reasons why it's such great fun to watch.

PS: brilliantly catchy end-credits and interlude song "The D'Ampton Worm" by Emilio Perez Machado and Stephen Powys is available on YouTube! Check it out!