Dead Snow (2009)
7/10
Oh, the weather outside is frightful... but nowhere near as bad as the zombies!
29 March 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Undead Nazis are not an entirely new concept (see 1977's Shockwaves for an early example of jackbooted zombies), but they are an undeniably cool one, particularly when combined with as much OTT gore as a budget will allow. In fact, so assured of the awesomeness of such a premise are the people behind Dead Snow that they don't even bother wasting time to think of a decent plot to support it, opting instead to go for a derivative 'cut and paste' approach using elements pilfered from their favourite horror movies (which include The Evil Dead trilogy, splatter classic Braindead, and, arguably, even John Carpenter's The Fog). The result is undeniably fun and goes some way to prove the theory that originality isn't absolutely necessary just so long as you have chainsaw dismemberment and shotgun action. Unfortunately, one can't help thinking that, with just a bit more effort and ingenuity in the plot department, this film could have ranked up there with the true greats of splatter cinema that its makers so obviously love.

Beginning in a similar vein to Sam Raimi's Evil Dead, writer/director Tommy Wirkola's movie sees a group of medical students travelling to a remote cabin in the mountains for a weekend break; there they are attacked by an army of undead WWII German soldiers who rise from a labyrinthine network of subterranean wartime tunnels in order to claim a caché of gold that lies beneath the cabin's floor. Wirkola fills the first half of his film with silly hi-jinx, the occasional jump scare, and a half-hearted attempt at explaining the existence of his bloodthirsty zombies, but holds off on the 'good stuff' till later on. When the gore finally arrives, it doesn't stop flowing until the very end, and the sheer quantity and quality of the graphic violence is quite staggering: a man's head is torn apart and his brain spills onto the floor with a satisfying 'Plop!'; a zombie's unravelling intestines prove to be a life saver for one character when he falls over the edge of cliff; a snowmobile is used to reduce several zombies to paste; a guy amputates his own arm with a chainsaw after being bitten; and one poor bloke is pulled apart in a zombie tug of war!

However, no matter how awesome the effects, they still weren't quite enough to stop me from asking questions about the poorly developed narrative. I wanted to know how the Nazi zombies managed to cheat death; I didn't understand why the creatures had waited so long before trying to get to their gold; how they had remained undiscovered for decades was a complete mystery to me; whether or not the bite of a zombie would cause the victim to 'turn' was never properly addressed; and precisely what that blonde bird found so irresistible about a fat guy wiping his ass in the john, I will never know!!!

Whilst I'm sure we'll be hearing a lot more about Wirkola in the future—he definitely possesses the talent and enthusiasm required to succeed in the world of horror movie-making—I do hope that next time a bit more effort is spent in developing ideas before shooting commences: armed with a really fresh script, this guy could be legendary.
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