Review of Alphaville

Alphaville (1965)
1/10
Pretentious Pseudo-Philosophical Psycho-Babble
2 October 2008
When I first saw this movie in 1965, I was a naive, impressionable student and thought it was daring, profound, and totally cool. Now I'm grown up and after seeing it for the second time in 2008, I realize how dumb and easily fooled by "sophisticated art critics" I was back then. Without a shadow of a doubt, this movie is:

Pretentious......

Pseudo-Philosophical......

Psycho-Babble......

Although Eddie Constantine delivers a reasonably good performance, the production values (sets, direction, cinematography, and editing) are so amateurish they are reminiscent of the notorious Ed Wood movie Plan 9 From Outer Space. It's really that bad! The simple truth is that despite his reputation as an avante garde film maker, Jean Luc Godard has no real talent and wouldn't last 5 minutes in Hollywood.

Anna Karina is cute but can't act. Neither can the rest of the supporting cast. Even the great character actor Akim Tamiroff is totally wasted. The plot is unbelievable, the dialog is corny, and the music is grating. After watching the DVD, I tossed it in the garbage can. Don't waste your time on this miserable clunker, which is basically a student film masquerading as art.
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