3/10
Marlon's Freak Show
21 September 2008
This expensive remake of the Paramount classic, The Island of Doctor Moreau fell on all fours in the telling. It looks like the inspiration wasn't Moreau, but rather Tod Browning's classic Freaks.

The film was not done on the cheap either either, shot in gorgeous technicolor in a tropical location in Queensland in Australia, replacement director John Frankenheimer did the best he could, but he had a couple of runaway actors in Marlon Brando and Val Kilmer who just went completely over the top. And the computer graphic creations made me think that Narnia had gone over to the dark side.

This was once again one of Marlon Brando's Christian Defense Fund films made to pay the lawyer's for his son's murder trial. It was during the filming of The Island of Dr. Moreau that daughter Cheyenne Brando committed suicide. I'm not sure what anyone could have done with Brando at that point.

Of course I'm not sure what Val Kilmer's excuse, was except that he might have seen this was going to be an expensive turkey and he might as well cut himself a slice or two of ham. Brando's three hundred pound albino Moreau reminded me of Dale the Whale from the Monk series and he seemed to recycle bits of Colonel Kurtz from Apocalypse Now into his performance. Then Kilmer decides to do an imitation of him.

When we first meet Brando he's being carried through the jungle on what looks like the Popemobile and dressed all in white and giving waves and benedictions to the crowd of his creations looked for all the world like the Pope going through St. Peter's. If this was to inspire awe, it missed the mark, I laughed myself silly.

This version of The Island Of Dr. Moreau had to bow to advances in medical science since Charles Laughton and Arthur Hohl were operating in the House of Pain. What Brando is doing is injecting human DNA in various amounts in different creatures, creating his freak show. Still Laughton's sadistic experiments gave us more genuine terror than what Brando was doing.

This one will make you nostalgic for the old House of Pain.
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