2/10
A Mockfest Opportunity
29 March 2008
"The Blood on Satan's Claw" (1971) was one of the films that the Army and Air Force Exchange Service saw fit to inflict on troops stationed in places where the post theater was the only form of non-chemical entertainment. Your average early 1970's GI in these situations would see 250-300 films a year, making him/her a pretty fair judge of world cinema, at least during the period that coincided with their tour of duty.

I mention this because this film vied with "Puzzle of a Downfall Child" (1970) for the distinction of the worst film ever to grace our base theater. And whereas the Faye Dunaway classic was simply ill conceived and awful, "The Blood on Satan's Claw was a genuine mock fest candidate. The small group who held out for the "entire" screening would share a bond for the rest of their enlistment. It was a St. Crispin's type of thing.

As I recall the seductive trailer with its many shots of Linda Hayden promised much than the film itself delivered. And the production design (in both the trailer and the feature itself) was first class and atmospheric.

Unfortunately the sequencing was so bad that audiences failed to get into the story or to identify with any of the characters. And since the premise was rather simple, and the characters exhibited every 17th century/medieval/devil-worship cliché and stereotype, the producers had plenty of time in which they could have built suspense and tension. Instead they just built boredom.

Watching it now I suspect that the producers changed direction after shooting and tried to turn realism into expressionism during the post-production process (how else to account for the silly music and the slow-mo ending). The result serves as an example of why this is rarely a good idea.

The story takes place in an isolated little 17th century English village (sort of "Cromwell" meets "The Crucible" with a bit of the group rape from "The Wild Angels"). There is an exploitation element to the production, revolving around young Angel Drake (Hayden) and a group of village children (actually a bunch of aging actors trying-somewhat pathetically to pass as teenagers). But none of this except a brief bit of frontal nudity (Hayden) lives up the titillation promised in the trailer.

The plot is not that complex, but may appear murky because the pacing makes it difficult to give the thing your full attention, and the sequencing is so poorly done that confusion may occur. Basically, some evil entity is at work around the village. Assorted body parts are turning up or getting hacked off; and once enough of these are assembled the evil creature is expected to take form. Meanwhile the overage teens, led by Angel (note the heavy symbolism), have formed into a devil-worshiping cult that is a danger to itself and others. And in some cases the furry mark of the beast is upon them. It's nonstop boredom and frame after frame of screamingly dull pretension.
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