Transformers (2007)
3/10
Needs more bots, less plots
12 January 2008
Why does a film supposedly about giant, warring robots spend literally 2/3rds of its time following around a dozen boring, nameless humans?

Why are there two metric tons of "plot" (read: frustratingly unfocused dialog mostly involving things unrelated to giant, warring robots) standing between the viewer and every decent action scene?

This is bloody >>Transformers<< not Days of our Lives. Make with the intergalactic robot battles already.

Sorry, but after the ridiculously awesome introduction I was all charged up for action-film history. Instead the movie stops... dead... for over an hour, while minute after long minute is spend developing countless characters who all somehow still come off as one-note and hollow.

Toss in a painfully lame slapstick sequence set in the main character's back yard (I don't buy the "it's a kid's movie" defense. Nobody young enough to think that scene is funny would have made it past the brutal introduction without bursting into tears.) and you've got a disappointing mess of a Blockbuster.

I recommend borrowing the DVD from your friend, watching the opening Middle East sequence, then hitting "stop" and going to do something else.
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