OK, now that the court case is over (verdict: accidental self-mutilation), we can confess. We did it as a joke, really. Our friend had said that he thought "Troll 2" was "OK," so we switched that DVD out for "From Justin to Kelly," just for a giggle. I mean, how were we to know?
And then he watched it while we were all in the next room.
The first 2 minutes were OK, and then it happened. He suddenly jumped out of his chair, running around the room, tore of his shorts and chewed off his own nuts! Then, screaming wildly, he ran across the room, right through the plate glass French windows, and made his way across the road, dripping blood and yelling wildly. He then rubbed his face rapidly across the barbed wire fence and was whacking himself on the back of the head with a medium-sized rock, screaming, "Take it away! No more, no more! Please, no more!"
Imagine our surprise when he then ran into the road and mooned an oncoming 18-wheeler - which flattened him. When we reached him, he was on the ground, oozing blood, bones sticking out from everywhere but he seemed happy. He was whispering, "Thank you God, thank you." Apart from the irreversible brain damage, severe tic and desire to eat possum vomit laced with razor blades (he says it helps the pain), doctors are hopeful that he will live out his life in mediocrity. The morphine and thorazine is helping.
Funny thing is, when we crush his fingers with pliers 'just for fun', he thinks he's on Miami Beach and breaks into the most God-awful songs about someone called Kelly! Weird.
SWAT arrived minutes after what we now refer to as, 'the incident', cordoned the neighborhood and after a few hours, managed to remove "From Justin to Kelly" from the DVD player with only a few casualties and four suicides when one of the team accidentally hit the 'Play' button on the DVD. Last we heard, the disk is under heavy guard by the DoD and is being called, " the most devastating weapon known to Mankind."
Did you know the average IQ of planet Earth is a mere 34? When the US ripped off the British TV show "Stars In Their Eyes" and relabeled it, 'American Idol', the IQ dropped another 5 points. When they tried grubbing a few more greenbacks by making "From Justin to Kelly" it dropped another 10 points.
My take is this; any moron who not only watches 'American Idol', but then deliberately goes out and watches a movie made about American Idol, deserves exactly what they get. This is Proof Positive that there is no limit to human stupidity.
And then he watched it while we were all in the next room.
The first 2 minutes were OK, and then it happened. He suddenly jumped out of his chair, running around the room, tore of his shorts and chewed off his own nuts! Then, screaming wildly, he ran across the room, right through the plate glass French windows, and made his way across the road, dripping blood and yelling wildly. He then rubbed his face rapidly across the barbed wire fence and was whacking himself on the back of the head with a medium-sized rock, screaming, "Take it away! No more, no more! Please, no more!"
Imagine our surprise when he then ran into the road and mooned an oncoming 18-wheeler - which flattened him. When we reached him, he was on the ground, oozing blood, bones sticking out from everywhere but he seemed happy. He was whispering, "Thank you God, thank you." Apart from the irreversible brain damage, severe tic and desire to eat possum vomit laced with razor blades (he says it helps the pain), doctors are hopeful that he will live out his life in mediocrity. The morphine and thorazine is helping.
Funny thing is, when we crush his fingers with pliers 'just for fun', he thinks he's on Miami Beach and breaks into the most God-awful songs about someone called Kelly! Weird.
SWAT arrived minutes after what we now refer to as, 'the incident', cordoned the neighborhood and after a few hours, managed to remove "From Justin to Kelly" from the DVD player with only a few casualties and four suicides when one of the team accidentally hit the 'Play' button on the DVD. Last we heard, the disk is under heavy guard by the DoD and is being called, " the most devastating weapon known to Mankind."
Did you know the average IQ of planet Earth is a mere 34? When the US ripped off the British TV show "Stars In Their Eyes" and relabeled it, 'American Idol', the IQ dropped another 5 points. When they tried grubbing a few more greenbacks by making "From Justin to Kelly" it dropped another 10 points.
My take is this; any moron who not only watches 'American Idol', but then deliberately goes out and watches a movie made about American Idol, deserves exactly what they get. This is Proof Positive that there is no limit to human stupidity.