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Pearl Harbor (2001)
need a romance is dead cut where all romance is removed
Action is good but the romance is such a boring drag, we need a cut of the movie thats just action because that part of the movie is genuinely good and entertaining. The romance is just way too cheesy and boring, like im not endeared to either of those relationships and you can tell michael bay was doing the most basic shots for those scenes and actually put in work during the action, its just such a same we didnt get to see as much action as we deserve from a PEARL HARBOR movie, it should be about the soliders and sailor's and pilots not about 2 childhood best friends in some pointless love triangle.
Baby Jane? (2010)
this is a comedy loves
Everyone is so upset by this parody remake. This is hilarious maybe its because im a gen z gay but i love this movie!
Knock Knock (2015)
Is trying so hard to say something yet is saying NOTHING at all
So bad its just depressing. Its trying to say something about pedophillia and the 1 percent but is so crass and bad that all points its trying to make just are so muted that the meaning doesnt even exist after a certain amount of time watching this movie.
The Devil All the Time (2020)
10 outta 10 bcs its gonna make people mad
This movie is pretty great, i dont see how this could make anyone angry its made so well
Rökkur (2017)
a fantastic heart breaking queer horror movie
This is a great addition to the queer horror catalog, about a broken relationship that we see spark and grow again between Gunnar and Einar, with one of the most sad endings I've seen in a hot minute. Sprinkled with some supernatural creepiness that grow a sense of dread and saddness and you cant seem to understand where it comes from or why Gunnar is in the middle of this with Einar, each time a small clue revealed until the ending hit you hard.
Tell Your Children (1936)
why didnt they just smoke some weed???
The fact that this has a 70 on metascore AMAZES me like what?? in the year of out lord 2019, where many states have legal weed and metascore out here flooded by single white christian mingle moms and or pops giving this a 70 on metascore. WOW...... WOW..... OH MY GOD....... WOW
Tremors (2003)
wow the terrible cherry on the terrible tremors cake
I honestly have no idea why Tremors is popular and why it even got a show bcs its so awful like its so bad the CGI makes me wanna vomit and the acting is a BIG YIKES so i wouldnt reccomend this to anyone and i hope that the series just dies out and we get something better
Scream (2015)
act like the third season doesnt exist
The third season is not connected whatsoever and im completely fine with pretending it never existed other than that the first 2 seasons are great for an Mtv version of scream. but i cannot express this enough DO YOURSELF A FAVOR ACT LIKE THE THIRD SEASON NEVER HAPPEND
This Is the End (2013)
THIS IS MY FAVORITE HORROR COMEDY
This isnt a fantasy comedy, thats all wrong this has many horror moments in it and so that makes it a horror comedy. thats all i need to say to be honest.
Midsommar (2019)
The reversal of Hereditary
Midsommar is the sophmore premier of Ari Aster, and this is a complete 180 to Hereditary but they share similar themes. Definitely not as good as Hereditary but it is shot so great, and the story keeps unraveling and not revealing all of the secrets infront of you but in suble shots that dont make sense until the end. Certainly more like a mystery drama with some horrific gore and implications of the great causality of the events we see play out. As said, this is the total oppisite of Hereditary and its definitely not as deep and dark but as Hereditary but has the some of the same tones, just in very different settings. In all i would reccomend this film to as many others as I can and is definitely going high on the favorite horror of 2019 list.
Un couteau dans le coeur (2018)
A great queer giallo slasher that pulls at the heart strings.
This is a great homage to giallo slashers, even filmed on 35mm to give some shots that really feel giallo, and it being a queer slasher is amazing to me, and it does not perpetuate many sterotypes. This movie has it all, a lesbian gay porn director, many many many many scenes of porn being directed, a quite sad break up with the lesbian director and her film editor, some quite good gore and kills, and the tragic back story of the killer that really killed me in the end. All in all this is a great queer movie and a great slasher, i would reccomend it to others to watch just make sure you know theres a lot of nudity in this movie (it is french after all)
The Pyramid (2014)
Didnt even commit to its found footage idea
If you are a big company making a found footage horror film please just do it cheap af thats how it should be not glossy and have production all over it. this is a terrible movie that cant even commit to the found footage idea, and the cgi make me want to leap from a building.
Hellraiser: Judgment (2018)
this IS a definite hellraiser movie in every sense.
This is a disgusting and gritty enstallment in the Hellraiser franchise and it is in every sense a hellraiser movie, ths new insteresting dynamics of the Auditor and the Assessor and Pinhead at the boss of the hell intake basically. The film makers has been dedicated to almost all the hellraiser films so saying this one is pointless and bad is soooooo dumb because from 3-6 they are all so bad and trash. At least this one give up new material and new things to watch and see how hell has changed. Because hell has changed why would it be the same. why wouldnt there be a auditor and a assessor to assess your soul. This is a quality Hellraiser movie and if you believe it isnt you arent a fan of the OGs
Riverdale (2017)
WHY IS THIS SO POPULAR
This is just predictable CW shlock thats so annyoing and so condecending by thinking its smarter than it is. I feel like teenage girls flooded imdb and rotten tomatos with positive reviews i dunno this show is so bad i cannot enphasize that enough!!!!!!!!!!!
Ma (2019)
Low budget no doubt, but still good
MA is a very fun revenge/obesession movie with some hints of slasher acting as the connective tissue. It is a fun ride and Ma is hilarious and terrifying at the same time when she is on screen. And all the kids are basically nothing and hollow teens with no defining values or characteristcs but this isnt about them its about MA. Right? Highly reccomend to see with friends because it has some very funny moments and some haunting horror moments.
The Cleaning Lady (2018)
check out the 1 star reviews BLESS faithworker-52608
A very fun low budget "almost" slasher, it doesnt quite get there but it has all the right pieces, and there isnt a lot of gore its reasonable mostly for its low budget but this movie doesnt need buckets of blood and guts to make it good, its a kinda obession slow burn and its quite fun and you and a few friends would have a good time watching.
The Gallows (2015)
It is bad but isnt amazing
The Gallows is an interesting found footage film, and it has an unerving and claustrophobic feeling to it. The story isnt that great but its interesting enough to get the general idea of why spooky stuff is happening. The best part of this movie was the death scenes and the lead up to them would fill me with so much anxiety and had to keep a light on to watch it all the way through.
The Hoard (2018)
very funny but not as horror
This was a very funny and strange movie, i love the faux hoarders show which is so accurate and i love every second. The jokes are quite funny despite the bathroom jokes which are always just cringy. I was thinking it was a zombie flick but its a evil dead possessed zombie thing, and i found it quite fun only if we get it in the last 20 mins or so. The special effects were quite good for such a low budget movie. Overall its a quite fun, and funny movie, with a few flaws of course, but for a low budget horror movie it was enjoyable and didnt spot major issuses.
Silver Bullet (1985)
Very Fun Werewolf B-Movie Thats Also A Stephen King Adaptation
This is an prime 80s cheese fest featuring a wereman and Gary Busey and i honestly cannot get enough of it. The wolf looks ridiculous, the main boy kid actor isnt that great but at least the main girl was a decent scream queen for this weird movie. Gary Busey is kinda my least favorite part of this movie mostly because of his weird line delivery and his character is just so bland. All my favorite parts about this movie are the werewolf kill sequences, they are so fun and i dont even care that the practical effects are subpar the acting in those scenes counteract everything and make the whole movie worth it. Especially the chruch sequence its soooo good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pet Sematary (2019)
an alternate dimesion pet sematary
This was a very good reimagining of King's novel, and all of the new things they added like the dumbwaiter, and the whole death of the family really worked in a demented way. I've been hearing people complain about the gore, and how it's "not gorey enough" maaaaaaan that was messed up, they only showed bits because of how gross it is, the brain sticking out, and the ankle cut were bloody fantastic, and they didnt need to show Ellie stabbing poor old Judd. They only thing I can flaw in the area of gore is Ellie's body would've been a bloody mess after being slammed with a semi trailer, like come on. I must give credit to the flip of the character death of the child, it was a nice little twist and it makes me think this is an alternate dimension pet sematary if gage lived and the wendigo had to choose another way to get the family.
Black Summer (2019)
THIS IS NOT WALKING DEAD AND DONT THINK IT IS
Black Summer is an extemely different zombie apocolaypse show, it is always going at 100% and is relentless. It doesnt let you get to know or understand the characters feelings and choices before it kills them off in an unforseen fashion. The filming can feel very chaotic at some points and then the black cut edits make the show have an overall uncontrolled and wild west feel, even though most of this show takes place in suburbs. In all honsety this is a hit or miss show, either you'll love what its doing or you will condemn it and hate it.
Choose Their Kill (2015)
Unique and fun, but ultimately lost to the heavens
A fun Crypt TV show, that was cut after one season and hasn't returned to their channel since they removed them at an unknown time. Luckily I was able to get a dvd copy from an horror themed monthly subscription package, and was pleasently suprised how fun it is, and all of the choices you get are never lack-luster. All three killer, Socketface, Brad Radical, and Miko the mime, are all very unique and have thier own "triggers" that then gives you the choices for the unfortunate fodder character only there to die. My favortie killer socketface has the more interesting kills with his "green energy" powers and one of the lamest life sparing kills, just by simply throwing a banana peel. Finally I think this is a fun, bloody, and comedic show that will forever be banished to a single season of cryptic kills and unanswered questions that leave you wanting more but also content with the cliff hanger.