Reviews

Well I have to say this has to have been one of the most enduring and annoying cinematic experiences I have ever had the mis-pleasure of sitting through. Where to start...

Well the film seems to have been written by some teenager who appears to have been continuously turned on by the posters of glamour models and US Military equipment on his bedroom wall as he wrote. Dialogue is terrible, story doesn't have any coherence or even make any kind of sense when comparing it to the mythology to the two previous movies.

Acting, well appalling, the 'new' Megan Fox is horrendous, and can't act for toffee. Shia is a decent actor but his character Sam has now become extremely annoying by this stage in the franchise. All the other parts are simply either, cardboard cutout's and have very little screen time to develop in anyway, or are just beyond stupid and pointless.

Direction is the same old Michael Bay lets blow everything up in the sunshine with slow motion. Its been done to death Michael, lets try and evolve as a film-maker and focus more on pacing, character and story development. 60 minute final battle scene? Eh? No one except 7 year old kids want to watch that. Far too long, and once you've seen one battle between two gigantic robots you've seen them all.

So many WTF moments. Too many to go through. I can't remember the amount of times I just wanted to put my head on my hands in despair.

I don't get this movie, a lot of people say 'What do you expect form a movie about robots that was based on a kids toy line.' True but M Bay didn't make this for kids or he would have had much more subtlety with the amount of sexual connotations instead of ramming it down our throats. There also seems to be an air of Rasicm, Jingoism, and sexual discrimination similarly to the previous efforts and those underlying themes shouldn't be involved in a kids movie.

An extremely poor effort of film-making, excluding the visual and special effects. Unfortunately 2.5hrs of visual effects doesn't constitute a movie to me. Michael Bay seems to be a sheltered and overly patriotic teenager who has just discovered the excitement of sexual arousal trapped in a mans body. This can only explain his style, content and the view on the world he wants to project in his movies. Someone needs to grow up fast and open his eyes a little wider before making another movie IMO.

1/10 Awful in every way.

Went to see this with pretty low expectations, thanks to some mainly negative reviews. However, Gerard Butler's performances are usually quite fun to watch, and although not her biggest fan I still quite like Jennifer Anniston as a comedy performer. The trailers looked OK, so all in all not the worst foundations for a potential enjoyable flick ( if you ignore the reviews anyway ).

Oh how wrong I am, like so many Hollywood "Comedies" these days, the trailers draw you in as they have ALL the funny parts of the movie. Unfortunately this means we have to endure the rest of the movie minus 2 minutes of amusement.

The script writers should hold there heads in shame. Its like a 10 year old wrote this. No quirkiness, no wit, no flair, even a usually charismatic Mr Butler came across as a twit thanks to this poor script. Why do films like these ever see the light of day.

Not enough laughs to be a comedy, not enough romance to be romantic, a severe lack of tension to be a thriller, not enough action to be a action flick. I'm not sure what it was trying to be. I don't think the film-makers did either to be honest.

Another thing, there were loads of "surely this can't be this bad" moments. Gerards dancing then kissing a colleague, talking about the horse incident, pretend torture scenes, Jennifers colleague and every scene he is in. I could go on and on.

Avoid this movie at all costs, its not even a worthy DVD rental.

1/10

Went to see this last night, a very popular choice giving the title and time of the year. Quite a good way to secure barrel loads of cash.

The movie itself was a big let down, and you could pick up on the tone within the cinema after the lights came on that many others in the audience agreed with me. So many BIG stars and so many characters, far too many to be fair, you can't possibly give each one the correct amount of screen time to provide a character arc in a 2 hour movie. I couldn't really get emotionally involved in any of the many scenario's we were served up. I found the majority of characters completely unlikable actually.

There were a couple of adequate performances, I thought Julia, Bradley and Jennifer were OK, Anne and Jessica Biel provided some comic relief as did Taylor in an ott goofy kind of way. Other than these performances everybody else was either bland, bad, or their part so small it wasn't significant enough to even give opinion.

Ashton (better than normal though) and Jessica Alba however once again provide outstanding evidence that they can't act for toffee. Easy on the eyes still seem to be their strongest quality.

As a romantic comedy there was also a massive lack of "comedy", a couple of half hearted laugh out loud moments is the best this could manage.

This film will make money down to the niche market aspect (like mediocre Xmas movies always make money during the festive period), along with the A-list cast. It's casting however is a false dawn, as none of the "big" stars really had enough screen time to justify seeing them as a relevant fan.

Its an American version of Love Actually, with the UK version being the much better movie in my opinion. There was something genuinely likable about Love Actually.

Not the worst movie I have watched, however can't really recommend it even for Valentines Day.

4/10

Went to see the movie last Saturday at the local I.M.A.X. This is the first chance I have had to write the review, even though the movie and its impact on me has been in the back of my mind since the experience.

Experience is the word, this movie is epic, beautiful, engaging, exhilarating and quite simply fantastical.

The slight extra cost to view the film (IMAX 3D) was worth every penny and a load more.

Visuals are simply stunning from the off. The 3D is extremely impressive from the start and instantly you are emerged in the movie/experience.

Yes the story is the same story we have read/seen many times, however the way its presented and told is very well done. Good pacing, great direction and an brilliant score help the 3hrs pass in a flash.

So is the movie the groundbreaking event its hyped to be? Well you will have NEVER seen anything quite like this before, so in that respect it is. The effects are almost perfect excluding a couple of frames here and there.

James Cameron just knows how to entertain, arguably better than any modern day director/movie maker? Avatar is yet another strong tick in his resume. Personally this could be my favourite Cameron movie in fact.

There is nothing I didn't like or enjoy about Avatar. All the cast were fantastic, even though some where only CGI character they still did a great job. Nobody in the production of this movie let the side down.

10/10 An epic of the modern day. Quite simply puts a lot of "event movies" to shame. Watch this then watch Transformers 2. Night and day.

The King of the World is BACK.

ONE out of TEN....(minimum available)

I came to the conclusion that I was watching a steaming pile of s%*t about 10 minutes into this debacle, and without sounding dramatic If I hadn't paid good money to see it I would happily have walked out of the cinema at that point.

I feel I have a duty to play my part to get the overall score of this movie as low as possible (at time of this review 7.2 out of 10, WAY to high).

Why such hostility towards the movie? I will explain what I hated so much about it.

1. First two minutes, 17,000 BC. Please.....

2. The whole Witwicky family, especially that annoying (now turned comedian) Mother. The college scene where she makes a complete twit of herself?? WTF....

3. Every supermodel/porn-star shot of Mikaela, cringe, cringe and lets all cringe again. Megan Fox can't act for toffee. The conversation at the start on the phone to Sam, the music during it. WTF....

4. In an age of technology (That Michael Bay is constantly making us aware of) How the hell do these Robots stay a secret. Causing carnage in Shanghai, anyone got a camera phone handy? Obviously not as Prime and his buddies still remain top secret after their mission, and what a confusing blend of CGI that mission was....

5. Characters that are annoying to the EXTREME or none existing in their development. The twins?? and who are all these other Transformers?? WTF....

6. Is this a kids movie? The first certainly catered for all ages but not this one. However I'm also confused as the level of pornographic/adult humour was intense, it wasn't even cleverly ambiguous or subtle, just totally in your face. So much so I'm pretty sure even the kids knew what was going on with some of the comments....

7. Shia having his mental breakdown stage. WTF....and ANNOYING....

8. Michaels constant (wet dream on film) love for the US Military. ENOUGH we know you're a boy scout, Superman isn't as bad as this idiot. Why, Michael do ALL your movies look and play out the same? (Explosions, slow-mo, golden sun, explosion, USA military rules, more slow-mo etc etc etc....) Give it up or at least try to evolve as a film maker....

9. The amount of running, goodness sake Sam had to run and run and run. Use Bumblebee? Also how BAD are the decepticons at killing people?

10. TOO many comic reliefs, Sam room-mate, the parents, the twins, Sector 6 guy, please too many STOP....

11. Plot/script....totally useless and almost non-existent.

12. Acting from EVERYONE (With the exception of a couple of voice actors).

13 Last but not least, the direction. Utterly disastrous.

I could keep going but will leave it at 13. I enjoyed the first movie, so was cautiously looking forward to the sequel, hoping it could grow the Transformers universe and build on the good foundations of the first. How wrong I was, this was appalling. MIND NUMBINGLY APPALLING....

Oh and as for the "What do you expect from a movie about giant robots" attitude to criticism of this movie. Well I expect EVEN a popcorn summer blockbuster to have some level of plot and depth. Certainly beyond the 5 year old humour, US Military recruitment video's and CGI warriors CONSTANTLY fighting each other we have on display here. I can switch off my brain and still follow at least some kind of coherent plot.

The spectacle of the CGI effects has ran its course,its no longer "WOW that amazing, look at Optimus transform!" You need to have more than that up your sleeve Mr Bay. Star Trek this summer indicates you can have crazy CGI, appropriate humour with some depth, and STILL have a popcorn summer blockbuster.

AVOID.

Bride Wars (2009), I potentially thought this movie could turn out to be one of those quirky, funny, well thought out and acted comedies that occasionally come out of Hollywood. To be honest that is the only reason I agreed to accompany my Girlfriend to the movies to see it.

However my enthusiasm was quickly suppressed, and I realised early on that the movie might actually turn out to be like so many other, forgettable, overly sentimental and almost pointless comedies that Hollywood are also famous for producing.

What didn't I like.

Well its not very funny, there is pretty much ZERO laugh out loud moments in the entire movie. From start to end.

The men the two lead (and talented) actresses are marrying are cardboard cutouts with ZERO character development and thanks to that are totally unlikable. How can we care about their individual engagement's and marriage's if there is no bridge built between us and them.

The "War",or more like the "playground type spats" are also extremely disappointing. No originality or real fun attached to anything they do to each other.

The "I could see it coming from 10 minutes in" ending, the whole Brother/potential failed marriage issue, once again completely unoriginal.

I also couldn't quite get it round my head that two life-long friends that plainly love each other could actually be so cruel to each other.

The WTF moment....the dance off scene, what were they thinking?? Cringe cringe and lets all cringe again.

I do however agree that both Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway (particularly) are fine actresses, and are both very pleasing to the eye. The scene in which they "make-up" is actually quite touching and well acted. Shame about the rest of course.

Overall a pretty poor effort at a romantic comedy. The fact there is no romance and no comedy probably explains why.

Its not a complete car crash, but its a very empty film which I'm sure I will quickly forget I actually seen. Then one day I will spot it in the TV listings and have a vague memory of watching it.

Hopefully this is only a one time bad blip on Anne Hathaway's otherwise impressive career to date. As for Kate, well lets just think about a new agent, bad movies are becoming part of the course for her career as late.

3/10 Watchable....but only just. In my opinion not for shelling out cinema prices to experience. Leave this one for viewing via TV, rental or bargain basement DVD prices.

This is without doubt the second WORST movie experience of my life.....

Second only to....The Happening......

Howard the Duck was better than this $*%t.

Why did I hate it so much...?

1. The terrible start- no tension, no explanation, no sense of awe, poor character introduction, just BAD.

2. Special effects- total rubbish. Gort was so badly rendered it made me laugh out loud when he was introduced to the viewer.

3. Ridiculous human reactions, character development and acting- Secretary of Defence...wtf...? Out of the blue the alien gets shot. Every actor was below par, particularly Jennifer Connelly who was extremely poor and totally unlikable, as was the brat. Keanu Reeve's once again proved he can't act for toffee. I didn't care about anyone in the movie.

4. Stupid circumstances and situations- People just standing in the park with their own 5 metre circumference watching a giant globe fly towards them. Everything the military did EVERYTHING( are they all retarded )The Reaper scene...wtf...! The Capture of Gort...wtf...! Why oh why was Klatuu allowed to be interrogated by one guy and only with that one guy present? Why oh why was Jennifer Connelly's character allowed to easily swap water solution rather than the top secret solution. The Chinese DUDE...wtf...! I could go on and on, but that would get very boring.

5. Concept and premise- I'm truly FED UP with the constant green issues.....booooring.

6. Tone, pacing and writing- Nobody had a good line of dialogue, it had an unlikable look and tone and was eyeing shut-tingly boring.

This was based on a re-make of a B-MOVIE.....enough said. A movie of cult status only at its best, and they managed to make it FAR WORSE...

How and why studio executives green lit this final cut is beyond me. I experienced the movie in the I.M.A.X and even that didn't help my overall enjoyment.

AVOID AVOID and AVOID again.......when this (immenently after release) goes to bargain basement DVD prices I advise you still AVOID.

What can I say about this movie..........well whatever it is going to be its unfortunately going to be extremely negative.

First 5 minutes caught my attention, there after....well lets just say I'm very surprised that I continued to the end.

Direction.......appalling.

Script and dialogue.......appalling.

Acting.......appalling.

Premise.......appalling.

M. Night Shyamalan career presently.......appalling.

Nothing, and I can't remember saying this before about a movie, but there is NOTHING even slightly good about this film.

Plot-holes bigger than the average black-hole, why, oh why did any executive or Mr M. Night Shyamalan himself not review the final cut and come to the conclusion " Man, this is a piece of s**t "and do the honourable thing and flush it away.

After "Lady in the Water" and "The Village"....and lets be perfectly honest "Signs"....oh wait my point is becoming pointless. I was going to go on to ask "what the hell has happened to M. Night Shyamalan career", but if we are honest he has only had one real hit ( The Sixth Sense ), and one other very good movie ( Unbreakable ). Other than that its been extremely average.

I HATED this movie, from 5 minutes in till the end. WTF was the old lady about...???? Can't give ZERO so one will do. AVOID...........

Well first of all, what a disappointment, I waited eagerly for this one, a WHOLE 19 years in fact, and this is what they came up with....? The whole experience felt flat, uneventful and as stated extremely disappointing. Lucas and Spielberg are really beginning to cheese me off. Lucas managed to kill Star Wars after an equally long break, and now Spielberg with a little help from fellow beardy has managed to kill off Indiana Jones. Such a shame since they collectively gave birth to these two great franchise's and made them so good originally.

Quite honestly going with the last few films from Steven Spielberg ( anything circa 1989 onwards actually ) I didn't really think IJ4 had much chance of being anything other than a disappointment if I'm being honest with myself.

What made this such a car crash......? (in no particular order of guilt)

1. Plot.........ALIENS and flying saucers....WTF!!!!!

2.Waterfall scene....WTF!!!!!

3. One word.......TARZAN....WTF!!!!!

4.Atom bomb scene.....WHY????

5. Did I mention Aliens......yes ALIENS....?!

6. Quick sand scene and the pointless re-introduction of the snake fear......STUPID not funny and WHY????

7. John Hurts character......give me strength......!

8. The absolutely anti-climatic ending, no threat, suspense or danger.....is this an Indy flick.....?

Going to stop now, could go on, but will not......

Anyway very few positives that I can think of, Harrison Ford was watchable as always. Shia was slightly annoying but OK I suppose, the rest of the cast were pointless cardboard cut outs.

19 years to come up with this plot, give me a break. I just can't get my head round why the people that made the first three Indy flick so GOOD (even the dodgy 2nd instalment), managed to make the 4th so BAD. Oh wait I said exactly the same after the Star Wars prequels, so stupid me I should have expected it.

Spielberg and Lucas pleeeeeese retire, I can't take anymore over-hyped rubbish from you guy's anymore.

2/10, one star for the theme tune, one star for Harrison, but thats it......!