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Reviews
Poltergeist (1982)
Here come all the millennial film students with their hot takes
I'm gonna get right to it. This is a fantastic, blockbuster haunted house movie. It's got a great script, great cast & the special effects have held up 40-years-later. Also, we all know at this point Spielberg directed it. Tobe might have filmed a few scenes, but there's nothing in his career that makes you believe he could do anything this good (Texas Chainsaw Massacre isn't that great. Sorry. It's terribly acted & mostly very boring). Anyway, as big budget scare flicks go, this one is still top notch. Mostly, it has actual heart & real emotion. Something lacking from even the best horror movies from the last 40 years.
American Beauty (1999)
Sad, underage porn masquerading as high art
Knowing what we ALL know about Kevin Spacey now, it makes this an even creepier film. Seriously, it's what a friend called a "complete exercise in narcissism & why the rest of the world thinks America is morally bankrupt". It's well filmed trash, nothing more. It's Art Porn, but it's is still porn. Especially when it tries to excuse it's major player for being obsessed with an underage girl. Even after he's accused of being a predator of young men years later. A failure on all fronts. Too bad Spacey didn't actually get that gun to the head in the end...
Friends: The Reunion (2021)
Why Is James Corden in this????
Look, I am an unabashed fan of this show. Like any sitcom that's goes on WAY past it's expiration date, the later seasons are problematic. But this isn't about the show itself, but more so a reunion of cast members who made their careers off of one sitcom. So, you're going to get out of this special whatever the show meant to you at the time it aired. I don't doubt that all the people around the world who discovered it later on were moved by the show, it's just not the same if you weren't there in real time. Problems with the special: First off, James Corden. What focus group made this unfunny Brit get so much work? Seriously, they don't even like him in England. It's like getting Sylvester Stallone to do a special about Fawlty Towers. He's not talented in the least. Mostly I enjoyed it though. I watched this show to the finale and have a lot of emotions about the series. I do think that Matthew Perry got shafted for the most part. Without Chandler, this show is nothing. Sorry. He's the #1 most important part of the cast. And when he says "my phone never rings", I believe that not one of this bunch checks up on his well being. Good, emotional, schmaltzy, and five minutes more of James Cordell than anyone should have to endure.
Shivers (1975)
Dawn Of The Sexual Dead
Early Cronenberg body horror flick made on a budget. I'm astounded at the middling reviews for a film so far ahead of it's time. Yes, it's low budget, crude, weird, violent, and uncomfortable. But do you really expect anything else? Honestly, I think it works perfectly, but I love lo-fi movies that get the job done. For 1975, this is something else. Go in with an open mind, and you shall be awarded. Admittedly, not for everyone. If you like foward thinking directors, with a dark sense of humor & an ability to look at things differently, this is your guy..
Weeds (2005)
Outstanding cast, but the direction & script is mediocre
The first two seasons of Weeds are binge worthy city! By the third season, things take a turn in story & writing. SO, many dumb decisions by the writers, like why doesn't Nancy use her knowledge of both the DEA and her rival U-Turn to take him down immediately? It's the laziest of story telling. Also, the level of misogyny that characters endure is abysmal. I'm gonna give it more time through season 3, but this boat needs to right itself quickly before I get to #4.
Vasha chest (2007)
Wasted opportunity
This should have been a slam dunk. The actors involved, great location, direction and production. Unfortunately, the script is a disaster of continuity problems and half baked storylines. This was probably conceived as a multi-season series, but since it wasn't given the good ahead for a 2nd run, it feels rushed. The last two episodes actually contradict each other completely. It starts off so very promising, but by the last three episodes, you'll be feeling like you wasted your time. Nothing is tied up completely in the final episode, so you feel cheated. There's a lot to love here, but not enough to recommend you sit through ten episodes, of what should have been at least twelve to tell the story right. Major disappointment.
The Woman (2011)
Terrible. In every way possible.
Shudder wants you to think this is some kind of female empowerment flick. It's not. The director is a hack & the male leads are laughable stereotypes. It's a bad film, filled with the kind of acting you'd find in a local dinner theater. Seriously, it's terrible. Junk trying to pass itself off as high art. Avoid.
Guest House (2020)
Bottom of the Pauly Shore barrel
Guest House wants to be a classic 80s/90s raunchy comedy. But it's first problem is that the two leads are SO unlikable. Honestly, no one is likeable in this mess. Director Sam Macaroni (guy's resume is SO padded with fluff, he must have called in favors to make this) is incredibly inept in every single second of this crapfest. Script is unfunny, stupid, nonsensical, gross - film doesn't do anything right. Pauly Shore at his best (Son In Law) was at least relatable & funny, and at his worst (Bio Dome) he was still more fun than this mess. Here he's just sad & old like the character he plays. Even worse is how the script tries to tie the ending up with some heartwarming, moronic message that doesn't work at all. Avoid. Everyone involved in this debacle should be completely embarrassed.
The Babysitter: Killer Queen (2020)
A missed opportunity
The original Babysitter was McQ's best work. A fun horror/comedy with a great cast that got it right. The sequel is a muddled mess that gets it right only half of the time. Mostly, it doesn't make much sense. Ignoring key plot points from the first movie and trying in vain to get enough of a coherent storyline so that Netflix can eek out a third installment. The good parts are really good, and the bad parts are just head scratchingly dumb. I still enjoyed it, but what a missed opportunity.
Caddyshack (1980)
7.3? Must be a lot of humorless millennials
You don't have to like golf to love Caddyshack. Along with Animal House, it's the best slobs vs. snobs movie ever. I've read reviews here going into tiresome depth about why the movie isn't funny. That's the first problem. If you're spending a lot of time & energy to explain why you hate Caddyshack, you're probably a ton of fun in real life. The film is full of so many quotable lines, it's criminal. Everyone in the cast is perfect and if you're not laughing out loud, you're grinning till the end. Mostly, if you don't find Caddyshack funny, there's probably something wrong with you. That's not an opinion.
The Boys (2019)
Psychopaths as Superheroes
An extremely well written, well directed and well acted story about heroes who aren't just flawed, they're psychotic. This might be the best series ever about the evils of corporations to keep us all in check while raking in the Benjamins. At the stories core is a not-that-far off vision of things that have already come to pass. Basically, what if superheroes existed, but had no moral compass. What if their every move was calculated by social media and faux back stories. I personally loved every minute of it. It's dark, violent, and obscene in so very many ways, but the characters are so compelling, I couldn't look away. My only complaint is that the creators tried too hard to humanize/excuse so much of the abhorrent behavior with many of the "supes" origins. You can tell after the first few episodes that these characters know right from wrong, but just don't care. Other than that misstep, it's one of the best series Amazon has ever produced and I'm looking forward to season 2!
Once Upon a Time in... Hollywood (2019)
Slow burner that's worth every minute
I can already hear the haters complaining that it's too long, too slow, and that there's not enough action. For a movie that takes such a leisurely pace to get to where it's going, it whizzed by for me. Part buddy pic, party homage to EVERYTHING going on in 1969, and part alternative universe. The entire thing works so well! Your ability to love, or hate the movie rests on how well you connect with Pitt & DiCaprio from the start. It's not a film about Sharon Tate, or Charles Manson, or the murders that followed. The story belongs to those two leads and everything else is done around them to tie the narrative together. A truly, rewarding and very mature movie from QT.
Chef (2014)
Fantasies are alright.
Let's start by saying right off that Chef is a lark. It's about a father reconnecting with his young son and finding his way via a food truck on a roadtrip. If you're looking for something deeper than food , and a bit of heartwarming comedy, keep on moving. The morons writing multiple reviews that the movie is a Twiiter ad are simpletons who can't enjoy a film for what it is. If anything, it's a refreshing look at a chef who is blissfully unaware of social media, his selfishness as a father,
and how it affects his life and livelihood. Mostly, it's a fun, charming and well made flick about food, friends and family. Dig a little deeper. You'll find it rewarding.
Russian Doll (2019)
Good beginning, great middle & muddled finale
This is one of those shows you have to stick with after the pretentious first episode. Definitely not for everyone, and if you've ever struggled with depression you'll get what most of it is trying to convey. It's messy, dark, and at times deeply disturbing, but at the heart of it all is a message about connecting with our fellow human beings and making peace with our past and present. I want to rate it higher, but there's just too many issues (for me) with the the last three episodes. I'd be in for another season without question though. Still, If this is a one-and-done series, I'm ok with that and it's probably better left that way. Some questions are better left unanswered.
Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (2018)
Maybe Rowling & Co. set the bar too high
The Harry Potter movie series was overall pretty fantastic.These prequels aren't the Harry Potter movies. It's an adult Wizarding World with more adult situations and problems. I've heard this be the main complaint from moviegoers and critics, but that's what I loved about both movies. They're more methodical, darker and definitely not for everyone - unlike the Potter movies. These are stand alone films about the mythology and history of wizards and magic many decades proceeding the Potter years. Don't go in expecting teenage sorcerers and Hogwarts and you'll be rewarded. I expect the next few films will garner more acclaim, so go in with an open mind and a clear head and you'll find a lot to love in what Newt and his world bring to the franchise.