"Fear" tried to take the simplest of concepts and turn it into a teen "Fatal Attraction" and failed miserably. This movie is appealing to teenagers who watch movies for nothing more than to watch other "teenagers" have an orgasm on screen, but everyone else will pick up on the countless cliches that exist and the most predictably simplistic ending out there. This movie is basically trash. The storyline is completely illogical. The motivations of the characters make no sense. The plot holes are MASSIVE! The daughter is atrociously naive/STUPID! The mother is blindly hypocritical. The father is clueless. The whole family is a mess. This movie is rarely amusing and NEVER rewarding. Skip it!
Reviews
19 Reviews
Outer Range
(2022– )
Slow Boring Pretentious Pointless
17 May 2024
Completely wasted potential here. Long story short, they managed to make an interesting premise very boring by largely ignoring the most interesting thing the show had going for it and replacing it with... well, nothing. Went absolutely nowhere. You kept waiting for the plot, but nothing. It's a total waste of HOURS of your life! I hated this by the end. Cobbled together senseless horse crap with characters that couldn't be more stupid and annoying. Trying to be Twin Peaks and X-Files, without one molecule of what made those shows what they were. I hope it falls into a hole where it can NEVER return. Essentially, it's just a lame soap opera about a bottomless hole.
Spaceman
(I) (2024)
In Space No One Can Hear You YAWN.
2 March 2024
Spaceman has all the components of a wacky comedy without the laughs. Shouldn't we be laughing - unintentionally or otherwise - and wondering what they were thinking? The idea of watching a movie about an astronaut and his space-spider could be interesting, but the movie is a slogging bore with no sense of pacing or dramatic tension. It's hard to give a single crap about a guy's overly sentimental domestic issues when he's about to encounter a cosmic phenomenon that might give humanity some insight into, oh, you know, just the origins of the universe. Spaceman isn't inspiring enough to prompt a ponder on it. It may just be the world's dullest case of space madness.
Frozen
(I) (2010)
And the Darwin award goes to...
1 March 2024
Warning: Spoilers
Stupid characters stuck on a chair lift in a seemingly "impossible" situation! How do I know they are stupid? Two simple reasons.
1. They sit there for HOURS in freezing weather without ever completely zipping up their coats and putting on their hoods before resorting to extremely dangerous, desperate and stupid measures.
2. They don't simply tie articles of clothing together to make a rope, secure it to the lift and climb down so that at least one of them can jump from a MUCH lesser/safer height and get help. The two in the lift can just pull up the clothes, bundle-up and wait for help to arrive.
1. They sit there for HOURS in freezing weather without ever completely zipping up their coats and putting on their hoods before resorting to extremely dangerous, desperate and stupid measures.
2. They don't simply tie articles of clothing together to make a rope, secure it to the lift and climb down so that at least one of them can jump from a MUCH lesser/safer height and get help. The two in the lift can just pull up the clothes, bundle-up and wait for help to arrive.
Alexander: The Making of a God
(2024– )
Entertaining and Informative
1 February 2024
Alexander: The Making of a God does a fine job of balancing the expert talking head sequences with the scripted dramatic reenactments. The expert interviews and riveting reenactments are well combined to portray Alexander the Great's amazing life and insatiable drive to conquer the entire world. I also appreciated the inclusion of "fact-based archaeology" which is based on ongoing excavations being undertaken by Calliope Limneos-Papakosta in Alexandria, Egypt. The performances, especially Braithwaite as Alexander, are well-modulated; the actors play these people as real humans instead of something out of a Shakespeare play. The acting in the series is very good, and the dialogue is as well. I found the series to be both very entertaining and informative.
65
(2023)
Mind-numbingly Awful!
9 January 2024
Can't believe how bad that was. Choppy editing, weak worldbuilding, filled with lame movie and sci-fi tropes that audiences have grown weary of many years ago. Characterization is nonexistent, and as a result, any pay-off moments feel completely unearned. The acting is stilted, and I actually like Adam Driver. While Adam Driver does the best with what he's given and there is one sequence that is a bit entertaining, 65 is an emotionally lacking and narratively shallow film that has horrendous characters, underwhelming visuals and a complete deprivation of atmospheric tension. The CGI is middling. The decision to invent dinosaurs was bizarre. Overall, it's just a waste of time.
Billionaire Boys Club
(2018)
Poorly Crafted Revisionist Nonsense!
6 January 2024
As a college kid in the 80s, I watched and loved the first BBC miniseries that starred Judd Nelson. That spurred me to learn all I could about the real-life story and the truth was far worse than the movie. But this new story tries to humanize these greedy killers as in-over-their-heads kids. Their murderous intent was very real, but the movie portrays this plan as hypothetical. Terribly unlikable characters prevented me from having an ounce of empathy or compassion for any of them, even when it all spirals out of control. I guess if you want to see shallow, superficial, greedy and foolish people try to con each other than this is your movie. It was all too distasteful for me. All in all, the movie is essentially a revisionist pack of lies, "artistic license" and instances of complete fiction all under the banner of "BASED ON A TRUE STORY". The only saving grace of this horribly written simplistic movie is Kevin Spacey. He was perfectly cast and played his part well.
Leave the World Behind
(2023)
THE END IS NEAR! Good riddance.
30 December 2023
This movie is laughably bad. I watched it because apocalyptic stories can be fun. But this was beyond stupid. I seriously can't believe it got good reviews from anyone - perhaps to keep the stars happy? Stereotypical and unfathomably unlikable characters and impossibly stupid dialogue. Most annoying was Rose. She's a homely emotionally/intellectually "challenged" self-absorbed little imbecile of 13 going on 40. Why does every movie seem to have one these days? If children like Rose are the sum of hundreds of thousands of years of human pain, suffering and desperate struggles to survive, our species DESERVES to be wiped out. The film's premise could have been interesting, but it just turned into a silly morality tale. The scary music, strange animal doings, and odd camera angles make it all the more annoying. Like some college kids took a bunch of social studies ideas and tried to make them into movie. It made me yearn for the end. Leave this mess of a movie behind.
Meg 2: The Trench
(2023)
Meg 2: The STENCH is A TOTAL STINKER!
30 December 2023
Warning: Spoilers
This stinker is one of the worst movies made in all the genres it covers: action, science fiction, suspense, sea monsters, comedy, etc. And the reason is that it fails miserably at trying to do anything in all of those genres. Imagine putting in a blender: Sharknado, Die Hard, Jaws, Jurassic Park and the Abyss, and all the possible clichés of suspense movies, with bad jokes. The result is an unswallowable smoothie, which you vomit as soon as you taste it. I tried to watch it with an open mind, (alert: Spoiler ahead) but when they do an "underwater walk for 3 Km" almost 7 kilometers deep with nothing more than a diving suit with lights, and they walk without making any effort with a pressure of 701 atmospheres, there they lost me, at that moment my brain rejected everything that came after. You don't have to be a genius to know that at that depth, the weight of the water would practically make it impossible for you to move and would compress you to the point of suffocation, to say the least. I think that was the breaking point and at that moment I already knew it was a bad movie. The rest, just senseless action, with the most inept villains in history. In short, a Sharknado with a big budget. Totally forgettable.
Black Swan
(2010)
Swan dives into BELLY FLOP!
13 December 2023
After reading so much good about this movie, I decided to give it a try. After watching it, I can say that it is incredibly overrated. The movie is like every other psychological horror cliches. How can a girl, so childish and insecure get such a big role? In REAL life, this never happens! There were so many things in the movie which never happens in the real world of professional ballet. If I talk about the performances, Portman's performance was too childish and irritating to me. Portman was 28-29 when making this movie but acts like a 12-year-old tween. I was not able to connect with her. Also, there were too many TEDIOUS hallucination scenes. The direction was weak. Other reviewers go on and on about Portman's "dancing". If you call closeups and shots from the waist or shoulders up "dancing", then kudos. ALL of the footwork and REAL dancing was performed by Sarah Lane. Portman's face was superimposed onto Lane's body through special effects called "face replacement" in pivotal dance scenes to make it appear as if it were Portman executing technically sophisticated moves. "Full body shots with actual dancing is me. That's why they hired me," Lane said. I was utterly disappointed with this movie. There was nothing in the movie that impressed me.
The Langoliers
(1995)
Cringeworthy!
16 September 2023
Complete and total crap. Worst movie I have seen in a long time. I would give a big fat 0 stars, if possible. Only Hollywood can take a "short story" and turn it into a 3 hour long BORE fest. D script, and not scary at all. Watching this film is like experiencing a slow agonizing migraine. The acting is weak and/or over-the-top. The dialogue is laughably bad and the developments in the final act are way too cheesy to be scary. What an epic disaster! One of the worst King adaptations ever, but definitely falls in the category of so bad its good! Terrible script, acting and effects. It is ridiculously overlong. The Langoliers is completely laughable, but typical of the unenjoyable trash made for American TV!!!!!
The Tomorrow War
(2021)
Piecemeal Formulaic Clumsy
12 September 2023
The filmmakers have liberally cribbed from a number of sources, resulting in a movie that feels both piecemeal and formulaic. You've seen it all before - and what you saw before was probably better. Its setup is more tedious than interesting and nearly all of its dialogue is exposition; even emotional moments are just characters explaining something that happened. It mashes up too many movies in a clumsy way, and it ruins a promising premise. The Tomorrow War desperately wants to be Independence Day for the 21st century, but it so fundamentally misunderstands the assignment that it's missed the science fair altogether. The Tomorrow War has its moments, scenes that work perfectly well as sci-fi action summer movie fare, but the intriguing premise runs out of fuel far too quickly, leaving the rest of the film in search of a point it never quite finds. The Tomorrow War is a great big Frankenstein's monster of a movie. It's cobbled together from pieces of other, much better, science-fiction films.
The Comey Rule
(2020)
American Carnage
14 August 2023
High review because of the emotion that this brings about. This is the best portrayal of the events that James Comey can provide, and yet I feel more anger toward him than the culprits (trump & his admin). Trump was acting as the rabid animal that he is; Comey was our top cop, who's primary focus seemed only to care for himself & his organization; country be dammed. Not dissimilar to a 'good' cop looking the other way (or at least not reporting) when he sees his boss committing a crime.... And...his focus on emails during such devastating threats to our country, baffles the mind. Comey admits that he interrupted an election 11 days before our country's vote in order to tell us that there were more Clinton emails, but never told us about the Russian investigation of trump....and never told us the full story of this until after being fired (giving trump supporters ammunition to discount him). What blame does Comey accept after Jan 6th, after more than 700k Covid deaths, after 4 years of trump's constant attacks on our institutions (including Comey's FBI)? He does not say, perhaps he never will.
137 Shots
(2021)
Injustice Exposed
13 August 2023
137 Shots documents the 2012 execution-style murders of Malissa Williams and Timothy Russell by Cleveland police. Two years later 12-year-old Tamir Rice was gunned down by Cleveland cops while playing at a local recreation center. The families of Russell and Williams as well as Samaria Rice (mother of Tamir) are featured speaking in their own voices. They are shown as powerful advocates for their loved ones. Any weakness of "137 Shots" is minor when considering the overall power of the film. It is skillfully made, first lulling unknowledgeable viewers into believing the slimy, fake sincerity of the various bigots carrying out their job of protecting racism in Cleveland. This film clearly shows that a grave injustice was done to Timothy, Malissa, Tanisha and Tamir and to everyone who loved and cared about them.
The Queen's Gambit
(2020)
Overrated Soap Opera
30 November 2020
Started off with promise, but ended up being a not-very-interesting soap opera. I can only watch a pretty girl get drunk and dance around so many times in seven episodes before I start to notice all of the huge, gaping, ridiculous holes in the plot, like the fact that the main character experiences at least 5 lives worth of tragedy in about 7 years. This way, she's can still look gorgeous through the whole thing is the point, I guess. Episode 6 in particular is just bad.
Argo
(2012)
Distorted Propaganda & Lies!
18 October 2020
Warning: Spoilers
In Affleck's VERSION of history New Zealand, the United Kingdom and other countries refused to habour the fugitive US officials. Former New Zealand embassy worker Maureen Campbell-White has provided a contrary, first person account. She recalls that when travelling in the Turkoman steppes with colleagues, two American's were picked up and temporarily hidden in the New Zealand embassy back in Tehran. Furthermore, New Zealand's then ambassador Chris Beeby and second secretary Richard Sewell secretly provided food and beer for those hiding out with the Canadians. Winston Peter's outrage at Affleck's omissions is perfectly understandable. How dare he blacken New Zealand's unassailable reputation for courage, mateship and hospitality!
We have one consolation though, Argo's inaccuracies and omissions are enough to offend many other nationalities. My research indicates that the US embassy officials were initially sheltered by the British before the Canadians stepped in. The film's portrayal of the six Americans in a Tehran bazaar rehearsing their fake identities never happened. The airport confrontation with the Iranian revolutionary guards never happened, Tony Mendez and the six escapees were not questioned or detained. The climactic car chase by armed Iranians pursuing the jetliner lifting the Americans to safety never happened either, they lifted off without a hitch.
Overall, the film belittles Canada's role in the rescue mission, an observation recently shared by President Jimmy Carter. "I was taken aback by its distortion of what happened. Because almost everything that was courageous or innovative was done by Canada not the United States."
Behind these and other distortions is the really big lie; the misrepresentation of Iranians and of America's role in their history .
We have one consolation though, Argo's inaccuracies and omissions are enough to offend many other nationalities. My research indicates that the US embassy officials were initially sheltered by the British before the Canadians stepped in. The film's portrayal of the six Americans in a Tehran bazaar rehearsing their fake identities never happened. The airport confrontation with the Iranian revolutionary guards never happened, Tony Mendez and the six escapees were not questioned or detained. The climactic car chase by armed Iranians pursuing the jetliner lifting the Americans to safety never happened either, they lifted off without a hitch.
Overall, the film belittles Canada's role in the rescue mission, an observation recently shared by President Jimmy Carter. "I was taken aback by its distortion of what happened. Because almost everything that was courageous or innovative was done by Canada not the United States."
Behind these and other distortions is the really big lie; the misrepresentation of Iranians and of America's role in their history .
Freaks
(2018)
ROTTEN!
15 September 2020
I'm usually pretty generous with my ratings but this time, for the life of me, I couldn't understand what the film makers were thinking. The plot is so predictable. The performances are okay, at best. The little girl is just tedious! Don't even get me started on the writing. The ending is so convenient and sort of like let's-go-out-superman-style-and-don't-need-to-worry-about-closure. Not to mention, numerous plot holes. And the CGI, oh man, a 6-year-old could do a much better job than that. Sorry, but this is truly a rotten movie!
Alive
(1993)
Finger Lick'n BAAAAAAAAAAAAD!
7 July 2020
I found Alive almost impossible to sit through. The writing is AWFUL! The dialogue is so awkward and contrived. The delivery is stiff, self-conscious and unnatural. The characters come off as blandly Americanized high school jocks. The characters don't seem to have any empathy while going through such a horrific event. The movie was released in 1993, but it is written and acted like a 1970's TV production. Are we really expected to believe that a group of people who endured 10 weeks of misery after a plane crash in the freezing Andes mountains with minimal provisions still have nicely styled hair, flawless skin and no visible weight loss? Not to mention, Ethan Hawke's Perfectly maintained goatee!? The actual survivors deserve better than this.
Gravity
(2013)
In space, no one cane hear you YAWN!
3 December 2019
Wow. I don't get how Gravity was nominated for Best Picture. Seriously, it has all the qualities that "professional" critics would moan about, yet they praised it, and most reviews saying, "It just pulls you in and it feels great to watch, the effects are mind-blowing". Right, even though the story is boring! The scene where Clooney talks to Ryan makes zero sense. People claiming Sandra Bullock portrayed a strong-willed woman is crap as she spends most of the movie running or crying. The effects weren't even that good.
Tell Your Friends