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Reviews
My Animal (2023)
Way better than the reviews would suggest
This was an excellent movie. I wasn't sure what to expect going in, but it absolutely delivered. The pacing was interesting, like the idea was to make you focus so much on the relationships between the characters that you forget the lead has a problem most young adults probably won't encounter.
The atmosphere is brilliant and dreadful. The plot is absolutely wild, and the acting was far, far better than it had any right to be. I got serious Meryl Streep vibes from Bobbi Salvör Menuez.
If you're considering it, give it a chance. Some of the scenes were a bit weird but overall, I really enjoyed it.
The Munsters (2022)
Right on the money
This is one of the first reboots that I've seen that is actually consistent with the original material. The Munsters was campy, silly, and family oriented. It was meant to be Leave it to Beaver meets old gothic classics. The original cast would have seen this and been blown away by how very hard the film cast worked to emulate the feeling of the original show. It's not a groundbreaking film meant to inspire or anything - it's just a love letter to a TV show millions of people around the world grew up watching. And I think they did a pretty great job of it, honestly. It definitely took me back to my childhood.
Tell It to the Bees (2018)
What a disappointment
To be fair, the cast did an incredible job of trying to make the script work. The cinematography was lovely at many points. The sets and costumes were spot on.
The absolute garbage storyline was a shock and a disappointment.
Fiona Shaw wrote a beautiful, intricate story about forbidden love in a small town with so much care and subtlety that Hollywood decided it would make a terrific film... and then immediately destroyed it.
If you want to know the story the way it was intended, please consider reading the original novel and stay away from this film. No offense to the cast - Gregor Selkirk as Charlie Weekes especially gave an admirable performance - but this ridiculous adaptation butchered what magic the story had to offer.
Shining Vale (2022)
Ridiculous (in the best way possible)
I cried laughing a few times while watching this series. There are people in the world who think cursing is the lowest form of humour, but I am definitely not one of them. Courteney Cox is hands down one of the funniest women alive. She makes you love an unlikeable character, and she makes you grateful for the opportunity to do it. I never rewatch television shows, but I will absolutely watch this twice to see what I missed the first time around. I am still not sure if half the bits I found funny were actually meant to be funny, to be honest. There's one scene that's maybe a second long, but it had me in stitches. Watch it. See if I'm wrong.
True Nordic Crimes (2015)
What an interesting show
What a welcome change from the typical North American way of handling television. This show presents facts in an orderly, no-nonsense way; there's no attempt to overly dramatize the information, and no sign of the hyper, almost frenzied way that true crime shows are typically produced. The episodes are interesting, straightforward, succinct, and executed with an almost serene narration that makes each new case more fascinating than the last.
I'm sad to find that only one season was made. There definitely needs to be more television produced in Iceland.
And that theme music is incredibly catchy.
Hocus Pocus 2 (2022)
Surprisingly magical
With the garbage Disney has been putting out lately, I didn't have very high expectations going into this movie, but I was pleasantly surprised. I think nostalgia is a difficult thing to contend with, and they really did work hard to capture the magic they created with the original. I was very impressed by the child actors playing the sisters in the beginning of the film. It's obvious everyone was having a great time, and really enjoyed being there. There were a few poorly written jokes, but many of the callbacks were on point and hilarious. I was barely into my teens when the first movie was released, and I still re-watch it every year around Halloween. I can say with some confidence that the sequel has done a magnificent job of capturing the overall joy and fun of the first film, and I hope they do go forward with a third installment.
Stories We Tell (2012)
Engaging, subtle, and raw
What a brilliant film. I've been following Sarah Polley's career from the beginning, and I've always loved her work. I can say with some confidence that this is the best thing she's ever done.
It's absolutely incredible how you can sit down to watch a piece of media, with no preconceived notion of the content or intent, only to be left mouth agape, staring at the credits. In turns clever, heartwarming, and almost too personal, this was some of the most interesting filmmaking I've ever seen.
The Croods: A New Age (2020)
Hot garbage
The original movie was cute and silly, but this trainwreck was the polar opposite. I've never wanted to punch an animated character before, but.. here we are.
It just got weird and stupid. Probably perfect for anyone under 6 but mostly a lot of cringy, over-the-top, desperate "humour" like if you held a clown at gunpoint.
It Chapter Two (2019)
Beep beep, Hollywood
I feel a little bit betrayed. I understand artistic license exists and time constraints are a thing, but there was no need to tamper with the story as much as they did. There is a reason King's work is a box-office draw, and to make so many changes just for the sake of change seems... arrogant. And unnecessary.
Within minutes, key characters had been omitted, key scenes removed. By 30 minutes into this piece of garbage, I realized the only thing that remained of a story written by a master are the names of the characters and a single scene that they so cleverly used as one of the trailers.
If you're a fan of King, avoid this movie. Start voting with your wallet and stop encouraging this garbage. There have been few successful takes on his work, and this attempt at filmmaking is not one of them.
I gave it 3 stars out of pity.
Dangerous Encounters (2005)
The only dangerous thing here is Brady Barr
I'm involuntarily watching this garbage on Netflix right now, and this man is a menace to every animal he's ever encountered. The show's premise appears to be nothing more than how far they can push an animal until it injures this idiot, and I believe quite firmly that he deserves it.
I'm rating this show a 1, but I'd give it a -100 if I could.
Mr. Barr, nothing you do is even approaching scientific. You should be barred for life from being anywhere near another living creature. I do not understand how this show was made. The only danger being encountered here is you.
The Floating Brothel (2006)
Amazing!
Simply put, I was really impressed. I happened to catch it on a PBS channel a few nights ago and I couldn't look away. Riveting, informative and, at times, really funny, this was not your typical documentary. If you have any love for history, specifically the history of the first convict settlements in Australia, see this film.
The Lady Juliana left England on July 29th, 1789 with 226 female convicts aboard, headed for Port Jackson, Australia. The convicts had been given "transportation" after Mad George had pardoned them from death sentences. Many had committed crimes no more serious than petty theft, including a young girl who was to hang for stealing a "frock" from another little girl. The majority, however, were common prostitutes and were being shipped to the new settlement in an effort to appease the sexual needs of the large population of male convicts already present.
The documentary includes interviews with living relatives of a number of women present on the "Floating Brothel" and manages to make the somewhat taboo material seem almost heart-warming.
I've seen documentaries of far lesser quality touted as brilliant by the various specialty channels but it took something created for PBS on probably ten dollars and a cup of black coffee to really delight me.
Hostel (2005)
Don't Bother
This is a horror movie? I've seen more gore in a Nine Inch Nails video. The only reasonably scary aspect of this movie was the screaming, which was really great. I spent almost the entire span of the film alternately yawning and checking my watch. I got a kick out of Cabin Fever so I was expecting a lot more from Mr. Roth. I was really disappointed. And yes, there is quite a bit of nudity -- I guess that was supposed to make up for the total lack of horror in this so-called horror movie? If you're extremely faint of heart and are grossed out and/or terrified by most Disney movies, see this film. Otherwise, don't waste your money.
She's the Man (2006)
Just Bad
My girlfriend talked me into renting She's the Man and I will never forgive her for subjecting me to the horror that was this "film". The only slightly intriguing aspect was the idea of Amanda Bynes dressed as a boy. Sadly, even that was not enough to pull it off. Admittedly, there were some entertaining lines and I may have laughed out loud once or twice but the painful moments and pathetic, repeated attempts at humor (during Amanda's attempts at faking masculinity) just made me wince and shake my head. If you've recently been subjected to a lobotomy and have lost all sense of what entertainment is, this is the film for you.