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Final Exam (1981)
Terrible Slasher Movie, Decent Movie
Slasher movies first popped up in the 1970s. There was Black Christmas, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Alice, Sweet Alice, and Halloween. It was a fresh and exciting new drama for the masses. Nowadays, the genre's a joke. Nothing but, gore, nudity, and zero originality. Final Exam is completely unoriginal, and yet it's different.
Plot - College students are taking their final exams, waiting for summer vacation. I can't say anymore, because that's it. The killer doesn't kill until the climax. I can't describe the climax. It's rare for these movies to be only suspense until the end. It's really lame. It's not bad. There's nothing dumb about it. 3/10
Acting - It's average. The girl and Mark are good, Radish and Gary are okay. The worst are Wildman and Courtney in the last 15 minutes. I was actually surprised at how the acting was better than I thought it would be. They seem like college students, making it all the more realistic. 7/10
Set Design/Location Shoot - It's a college. Very uninteresting. There's another location, but it's only shown for a few seconds. 5/10
Cinematography - Okay. Nothing noteworthy. 5/10
Soundtrack - The music sounds interchangeable. Mostly quiet. 0/10
Script/Dialogue - The dialogue's realistic, the dialogue sounds at times sounds like gossip. Whenever Radish speaks, it's about murder. He's probably got the best dialogue like Randy from Scream. Not the best actor though. 8/10
Characters - Courtney's kind, sweet, and envious. Lisa is a girl who's got the looks and can get by in life just fine with it. Courtney wants that, and it's up to Radish to cheer her up. Janet's a romantic. She's in love with Gary and that's the only thing that matters. Gary's a Gamma pledge, and he'll do anything the Gammas tell him to, even steal the answers. He is reluctant at first, showing that he will at least think about what he's doing before acting. He is also an a**hole. Janet has shown him nothing but love and he's got the audacity to call her a b****. Although understandably, he's tied to a tree with whipped cream and ice covering him in his underwear at night. Mark and Wildman are sociopaths. They pull a prank shooting, so Mark can pass his exam and his parents can pay for his car again. And everyone just brushes it off. The girls just laugh after seeing a Gamma sticker on the van, Coach finds it hilarious, and the Sheriff treats it as if it is a prank. Radish and Janet are the only ones to care, and Janet's only mildly surprised. Mark and Wildman deserve legal punishment. Radish is murder-obsessed. During the prank shooting and the climax, he says, "it's happening", apparently expecting both events to happen. He's even got a poster of Murder Is My Beat on his wall, further accenting his obsession. He's also got sense, as during both the prank and the climax he immediately calls the cops. He fails in the climax, because of the prank. We don't get any information on the killer. He's a discount Michael Myers, who is the most boring slasher villain ever. He is just awful. Believable characters, except for the killer. There's not much depth. There's no exposition background. 7/10
Gore/Nudity - No creativity whatsoever. No murders except opening scene, for 50 minutes! Brief nudity. 0/10
Overall - One of the worst slasher in existence. Worse than Death Nurse 2. Decent movie though. Jimmy Huston was attempting something different. We replace gore with characters. It works more as a failed thriller/college drama. I have a theory about the killer. When watching movies, you want to feel immersed in the story. We'd like to feel we're around the characters. So my theory is, that Jimmy Huston wanted us to feel as if we are characters. That's why we spent those long 50 minutes with no murders. We're characters in the movie. Suddenly, this psycho killer shows up out of nowhere and now the characters are confused as to who he is and why this is happening. That's why we never find out the killer's name, motivations, and switch in campuses. It's because the characters have no idea who he is and why he's here. We're not supposed to know, because we are the characters. We're confused, just like the characters. I think that's what people didn't get when they saw it, and it's a shame too. It's a sh**** slasher movie, but an okay movie. I will admit, I found it strange how this killer seemed to have supernatural powers for no other reason than to be a rip-off of other, more well-known killers. I will still bump the movie up 1 point, just for that reason. Also, this movie has no sense of continuity. When, Gary goes to steal the answers, it's nighttime. When he comes back out of the office, it's still night. But then, we see him taken to be treed, it's clearly daytime. Just thought I'd give it a mention. It's an okay movie. I don't understand the 14% on Rotten Tomatoes, just because it's boring. Did they pay attention to the other things the movie has in it. I give it a 5.375/10, rounded is 5.38, rounded is 5.4, rounded is a decent 5/10.
White Wolves: A Cry in the Wild II (1993)
There they are!
About a year ago, I wanted to bring Gary Paulsen's Hatchet to the big screen. Unfortunately, Julie Corman beat me to it by 25 years. Fortunately for me, it's bad. I was going to watch and review this, but my computer was lagging. I then went on to what I thought was probably worse. The sequel, White Wolves: A Cry in the Wild 2. (Dramatic Music). Usually, sequels are not as good as the first movie, a lot are downright terrible. According to IMDb, the movies actually get better as time goes on. A Cry in the Wild, 5.4/10. White Wolves, 5.8/10. White Wolves II, 5.9/10. And White Wolves III, 6.4/10. This is probably the only franchise where they do.
Plot - 22 years after the events of the first movie, Brian Robeson, or Jake B. for some reason, is now either a schoolteacher or camp counselor. Judging by what time of the year it is, counselor. He brings along 5 kids for a hiking trip, including his adopted little brother Benny, Zack Morris, Sloan from Ferris Bueller, Amy from Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, and Young Tom Hanks from Big. They manage to make it to the top of mountain, but Mr. B falls off. Now, they're main objective is to get back and get Mr. B a hospital. Not bad, if it weren't for how they started up the plot. Tom Hanks starts dancing on the top, nearly falls, and almost gets Mr. B killed. What a dumb***. Also, it doesn't feel complete. They're only in those woods for about a day. In the first movie, Brian was in the woods for 52. There's no real sense of danger. It also has nothing to do with any of the sequels. 5/10
Acting - Most of the actors often switch from bad to okay. The best actor has got to be Matt McCoy as Mr. B. He sounds exactly like a school teacher and never once is ear-piercing in the movie. Amy O'Neill who plays, get this, Pandra, is by the far the most garbage actor and has the worst name. There's this one scene where she talks to Benny and manages to stretch out the word find. She is just putrid, never once is she at least decent. This is more noticeable in the second half of the movie, as I originally thought David Moscow, Adam, was the worst. He sounds incredibly unbelievable in the first half, and at one point starts rapping out of nowhere. Like he thinks he's Vanilla Ice (it is 1993). The other 3, worst to best are Ami Dolenz as Cara, Marc Riffon as Benny, and Mark-Paul Gosselaar as Scott. Like I said, the actors switch from bad to passable. Scott and Mr. B are the best. There's also this one woman who says, "There they are!", and it is just laughable. 5/10
Set Design/Location Shoot - The movie is shot on location in the great outdoors. It would be great, but it doesn't feel big, and the camera-work doesn't really focus on it. It could be because they didn't have enough money to show what could be massive. 8/10
Cinematography - Nothing great, it's okay. 5/10
Soundtrack - For a movie I thought I was going to hate, the soundtrack did not feel something scratching up against a chalkboard. There isn't a lot of music though. 6/10
Script/Dialogue - It's actually quite good. It's not Shakespeare, but it is real. There's quiet moments and the dialogue isn't at cheesy. The teenagers speak like teenagers. They even say things like s***, d***, and h***. There aren't any really stupid moments in this movie, except for when Adam causes Mr. B to fall of the cliff. I will say that the parts of the script that talk about Benny's Dad are pretty cliché. I like how they gave Mr. B the scene in the cave where he talks about his time in the wilderness. It gives us the one of the only connections to this and the first movie. That's also realistic, as there aren't any real points where he can talk about this time. It would just sound like exposition. 7/10
Characters - There is not much to these characters. They're pretty cliché and the only ones who get any semblance of a backstory are Pandra, Mr. B, and Benny. Scott is demonstrated to be a control freak when Pandra and Benny leave without them. Adam is a dumb***. I'm still thinking about that mountain dance. Cara is by far the most uneventful character, she's just the sister, the pretty girl. Benny is the bad boy who smokes and doesn't have a loving father. Pandra is the girl who wants to do something by herself. I really do not have anything to say about these characters. 3/10
Overall - It's okay, there's nothing special about this movie. It's pretty obscure, and you must be one of the select amount of people who've watched this if you're reading this. There is also a part of the movie, where a bear attacks the teens and they are guided by a white wolf. The movie I think is trying to let us believe that they're the same bear and wolf from the first movie, but that doesn't make any sense. The average lifespan of an arctic wolf is 7 years, 20 in captivity. Matt McCoy was 35 when this movie was released. That means about 22 years have passed. Also, is this the same wilderness as before, because I've never seen the first movie or any of the sequels. And another thing, why is his name Jake B. if he was named Brian Robeson in the first movie. I'm taking away .02 points for these reasons. I'm honestly glad I saw this movie, as I'm all for obscure. 5.55142857143/10, rounded is 5.55/10, rounded is 5.6/10, rounded is a solid 6/10.
Reservoir Dogs (1992)
Larry, stop pointing that f****** gun at my Dad!
Ever since I was a little kid, Back to the Future was the s***! For years, I tried to find out how to actually build a DeLorean time machine, or any time machine. I practically lived and breathed time travel, and I still somewhat do. But, after years of watching movies, seeing nothing that could compare to Michael J. Fox. Out popped a movie that was minimalist and natural. My new favorite movie ever.
Plot - 6 guys robbed a bank under the guise of colors. They are Mr. White, Mr. Orange, Mr. Pink, Mr. Blonde, Mr. Brown, and Mr. Blue. They were hired by two guys Joe Cabot and Nice Guy Eddie. S*** goes down, Orange is shot and Blue and Brown die. The guys start wondering how the cops got there so quick. They begin to suspect that there is a rat/cop within their group. There is nothing wrong with the plot except that, they only slick back their hair in order to mask themselves. Who is to say that not one person would see your face. They have artist renderings. Also the plot is sort of borrowed from City on Fire (1987) and Kansas City Confidential. 7/10
Acting - The acting in this movie is superb. That can be credited to the fact that the dialogue is extremely relaxed and realistic. Props to the opening diner scene, where they discuss Like a Virgin and how it's all about d***. Tarantino had a sort of style that you're all familiar with. It's sort of laid back and the characters talk about stuff not important to the plot. Michael Madsen and Steve Buscemi are the best ones. Tim Roth would be the same, if it weren't for the scene where he's bleeding in the car. Keitel, Penn, Bunker, and Tarantino are good. I heard Lawrence Tierney was a pain on set, but he's not that bad. 9/10
Set Design/Location Shoot - There are barely any locations in this movie. There is the warehouse, the diner, Joe's office, the bar, and another diner. It's really nothing to brag about, though the minimalist is just amazing, as Tarantino shows he does not need a bunch of locations to make a great movie. That warehouse is also pretty memorable. 7/10
Cinematography - I really don't like reviewing this part of any movie, as I feel that it is so mundane and uninteresting. I completely skipped it over in my An Extremely Goofy Movie review and my still not submitted Beauty and the Beast review. I however include it, as there are films that deserve for their cinematography, good or bad. The cinematography is good, not great. We see Tarantino is not an amateur with his shots, and I will mention the credits sequence and Mr. Pink's flashback. There is however, nothing great about it. 7/10
Costumes/Props - The actors all brought their own costumes, because it wasn't in the budget. Nice Guy Eddie's track jacket is actually Chris Penn's and it is hilarious. The suits add to the cool factor of the movie, the cop costumes are standard, and the guns are also standard. There's no real focus on the costumes or props in this movie. 6/10
Soundtrack - My god is that soundtrack amazing. Little Green Bag is forever stuck in my head, and Stuck in the Middle With You was unbelievably awesome. Other than that, the movie is quiet for the most part. 8/10
Script/Dialogue - Like I said before, the style is very relaxed and cool. It's a really great script with realistic characters. 10/10
Characters - We don't really no much about the guys' backstory. We do know about their personalities. White (Lawrence Dimmick) is compassionate towards Orange (Freddie Newandyke) and takes the responsibility of being his mentor. He is really hurt when Freddie turns out to be the rat, and regrettably shoots him afterwards. He however, can be a killer when he needs to. I couldn't really pin down what Orange's personality is, he seemed kind of cool and scared of death, but he was mostly knocked out for most of the movie. He is also way to quick to single out Pink for not tipping, foreshadowing events to come. Blonde (Vic Vega) is a sociopath. He just doesn't care. He shoots down cops and civilians once the cops arrive a little too quickly, and he tortures a man, while at the same time dancing to 70s music. All the while, he's cool and suave, and he shows no remorse. Pink is selfish, greedy, and just wants to get the job done. He fancies himself a professional and sees Blonde as nothing more than a Psycho. We never find out his name, and yet he is the only one to survive the entire movie. Nice Guy Eddie seems like his namesake at first, but will instantly lash out if anyone threatens his dad, or if he found out his friend was trying to make off with the jewels. Joe fells every one of them is untrustworthy, so he never gives out their names. Instead he gives them colors. Although, he never gives himself or his son a code name, so he's only protecting the guys he hired and not himself. Brown and Blue were barely in the movie. We did see that Brown is very talkative. Great characters who never spout out their backstories and instead show us who they are. 9/10
Overall - It's a really good movie that borrows elements from other gangster movies. But other than that, it's fine. It's good, it's a fun movie. Mexican Standoff, awesome. And was a great movie for Tarantino to start with, unlike My Best Friend's Birthday. Inspiration comes from Kansas City Confidential, The Big Combo, The Killing (1956), The Taking of Pelham One Two Three, City on Fire (1987), and Au revoir les enfants. 7.875/10, rounded is 7.88/10, rounded is 7.9/10, rounded, 8/10.
Beauty and the Beast (1991)
A Tale as Old as Time
I must be in the 1% of people who had not ever seen Beauty and the Beast. It was only about 3 days ago when I finally saw what some call the best Disney movie ever. I can definitely see why.
Plot - Belle is a pretty girl who loves books and minds her own business. It is for these reasons, she is seen as strange by everyone in the village, except for the town hero Gaston. Belle's father is the loony inventor of the village, and they live in a house right next to the village. One day, he leaves home to bring his latest invention to the convention, but gets lost in the woods after taking a shortcut. He and his horse are chased by wolves into a seemingly abandoned castle. The castle is however, inhabited by anthropomorphic household items and a prince who has been turned into a beast. The father is captured and Belle goes out to find him after the horse comes back. She agrees to stay in the castle, if the Beast lets her father go. Sure enough, Belle stays and the plot kick starts. The set-up for the things to happen is a really well done set-up. It might seem dumb for the father to take a shortcut. But, he was just too darn excited to care. 10/10
Voice Acting - The voices here are done to a T. The character designs of each character and their voices are all perfect. There's is nothing bad to say about these voices, every character sounds exactly like how they look. Even for the dresser, who sounds the least like how she looks. 10/10.
Animation - The animations of the castle, the wolf scenes, and the climax are just beautiful. The way the characters move are just beautiful. There is really nothing to say in this area, it's way too great to be called average. It however, is not the best. 9/10
Soundtrack - I feel bad for not really remembering any of the songs. I've never actually had the ability to memorize lyrics of a song, and I really wanted to get into the songs. It's just that I never grew up with this movie. I grew up with The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, The Lion King, and Mulan. I remember most of their soundtracks. I guess I'm just too old to really get invested in the songs. For what it's worth, I actually really liked the song Gaston. It had a nice rhythm to it. Belle and Beauty and the Beast were really good, I just don't remember them. Just because I can't remember them, it won't effect it's score. The music just didn't really feel big for me. 8/10
Script/Dialogue - It's a Disney movie, there script and dialogue is always great. I loved every time the objects appeared on screen, especially Lumiere, Cogsworth, and Mrs. Potts. The dialogue between Belle and the Beast is realistic enough for me. 10/10
Characters - The characters are portrayed here better than most Disney movies. Belle is a girl who wants something grand in life, but doesn't know what it is. She loves her books and minds her own business. She doesn't want to marry Gaston due to his arrogance, and is willing to stay a prisoner in order to save her father. The Beast has anger issues, and is really trying his best to woo Belle given his situation. He wants to Belle to fall in love with him and turn back into the prince, but is so angry, he just shouts at her and is very considerate over her feelings. Belle and the Beast have to develop their relationship over time, rather than just they met that day. And it's because of this why the relationship seems more realistic. Truly, a first for Disney. Gaston is a really good villain, he starts out as the arrogant hero who thinks he deserves the girl in the end. He is however denied his "bride", and turns more desperate as the story goes. He tries to admit Belle's father into the loony bin, and tries to kill the Beast purely out of jealousy. He however is one of the better Disney villains, as he isn't straight up evil. The house items were turned by the witch, and try their best to get Belle and the Beast to fall in love in order to turn human. Lumiere is a womanizer, Cogsworth is a control freak, Mrs. Potts is very caring, Chip is curious, and many more. These are wonderful characters who you'd just love to spend time with. Their transformations are arguably uglier than their cursed forms. 10/10
Overall - This was definitely the best movie that Disney has ever done in my opinion. Nothing beats it. Everyone is just so darn likable. I would also love to mention how, Belle's father should've died in woods from hypothermia, Gaston's second banana would've been the precursor for cryogenics research, that one guy was crushed by the dresser in the climax, the dresser fell from King Kong height (Beauty and the Beast reference right there). So along with Gaston, that's 4 deaths. Nothing important, just wanted to give those a mention, because who else would. 9.5/10, round that it's a perfect 10/10.
An Extremely Goofy Movie (2000)
Where Is Roxanne?!
A few years ago, I came across this movie on Netflix. I don't remember why, but I started to watch it. I loved this movie. This and it's predecessor rank in my top 30 favorite movies ever. After watching this movie, I was all kinds of pumped for college. Yesterday, I revisited this movie after watching the first one, and I have to say that this one is an improvement over the original.
Plot - The plot is solid, and the set up is sort of believable. Goofy going to college, in a million years that would happen. It however rips off Rodney Dangerfield's Back to School. 5/10
Characters - Max is upset by Goofy's presence at college. Goofy wants nothing more than to spend time with his son. Sylvia loves to shake her groove thing, and is sort of the quiet type. P.J. is sort of just there and does nothing really except for fall for Beret Girl. He's even blasted out of the finale by Brad, as he had literally nothing to do. Bobby has incredibly stupid dialogue, it's amazing how he has such a small amount of lines and still tanks the movie's quality. Pauly Shore's best movie. Beret Girl is one of those beat poets and doesn't really do anything except add to the college atmosphere. Tank is the henchman and possibly kills off everyone on the blimp, and Brad is a jerk who nearly killed P.J., Goofy, Max, and Tank. Brad is a sore loser and does nothing but cheat in order to win. While certain characters aren't really that in depth. They are actually believable, even Bobby. The movie is mostly about Max and Goofy's relationship, and both character's personalities are explained in the first movie anyways.7/10
Voice Acting/Dialogue - The voice acting is done really well and above the usual direct-to-video garbage. Bobby as I said is just annoying, and is the only downside to this part of the movie. He only has about 15 lines in the whole movie, so you don't really notice him that much. The dialogue is just okay, it's not great, except for Bobby. Bobby's dialogue is atrocious. Especially, the Rasta pasta line. It's believable, and the few bits of exposition blend in so well, that you hardly ever realize it is exposition. 9/10
Soundtrack - The soundtrack for this movie does not date like how A Goofy Movie did with Stand Out and I 2 I. The movie is actually timeless thanks to the soundtrack, as it doesn't scream, "takes place in the year 2000". That song that song that plays while they're driving through the campus, is what got me pump up for college. It is nothing to brag about however. The movie is actually a lot more quiet than A Goofy Movie, and yet doesn't feel like the theatrical release that it's predecessor was. 6/10
Animation - The animation is neither stunning nor bad. It's kind of just meh. I will point to Max's reaction shot when seeing his father pop up unexpectedly in class in a 70s get up. That is classic. 6/10
Overall - I thought it was a really good direct-to-video outing, and was really surprised at the 57% on Rotten Tomatoes. I was even more surprised at the audience score, 47%. It's not that great of a movie, but it's also not that bad of a movie. In my opinion, that ending sequence felt really sad for me, as it would be the last time we would ever see Goof Troop in movie form. The only problem I have is Roxanne being kept out of the movie, while Bobby stayed in. Screw Bobby, Roxanne was like one of favorite parts of A Goofy Movie. It is however realistic, in that young love like that, doesn't really last. Which is kind of tease, when you hear she reappears in a House of Mouse episode, and is replaced in Twice Upon a Christmas by Mona. I did however like the new character, Sylvia. She was the movie's Roxanne. I'm actually going to bump the score of the movie down .1 point because of Roxanne's omission. Also a mention goes to the fact that the blimp disaster and P.J. being blasted out (no one could survive from that fall), means a lot of people died because of the College X Games. James Cameron would've made a movie about it, starring a romance, and a Celine Dion song. I give it a 6.5/10. Round that, you get a solid 7/10. Hope you liked my first review, or at least found it helpful.