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PaulLyndeForTheBlock
Reviews
Hollywood Squares (1998)
The first four years were terrible, but the final two savaged it
I'm as a big a fan of this show as they come, so I have a love/hate relationship of this incarnation. It started out with promise; a lot of new faces on the show (Gilbert Gottfried, Penn & Teller, and the very attractive Judy Gold were my favorites) and a few old regulars like Joan Rivers and Louie Anderson. Shadoe Stevens was back in the announcer's chair, although his role was severely limited compared to the Orion version, and Tom Bergeron proved to be very adept for the hosting role. So what could go wrong with this crowd?
The big downfall was none other than Ms. Whoopi Goldberg. While most celebrities were able to bluff or deliver one-liners efficiently, Whoopi would hog the spotlight for as long as she could, either stretching a semi-funny joke to the point where it was embarrassing, or even interrupting, whether it was other celebrities with her shtick, or even the contestant introductions by making some comment about their job or life. I really did not find her entertaining in the least and it was obvious she designed this show as an ego boost for herself. Face it, when the show opens with "...and starring Whoopi Goldberg!", and she is an executive producer, you know what's more important here Some other weaknesses were celebrity choices; the show suffered greatly from Caroline Rhea and Martin Mull overkill, and other celebrities seemed to treat the show more like a party and big joke and didn't really respect it. That was most disappointing to see.
Thankfully after 4 years, Whoopi moved on to other projects, and Henry Winkler came on to take her spot at co-producer. The show finally became enjoyable again with new themes, a new set, and no egos to deal with on screen. Now that "Whoopi Goldberg's brown-nosing sidekick" was no longer part of his job description, Tom Bergeron really blossomed as a host and proved why he was selected for the job in the first place. He proved to have as a good of a wit as the stars (or at least the joke writers) and made the show his own. The center square saw a different mix of panelists, including Magic Johnson, Brad Garrett, and Pamela Anderson among many many others. I admit that I didn't like the idea of rotating center squares at first, but it did keep the show fresh. And who could forget both Game Show Weeks? Particularly the first with the triumphant return of Peter Marshall. Between this, his book, and the classic squares returning to GSN, 2002 was a great year to be a Hollywood Squares fan! The only downside was replacing Shadoe Stevens with Jeffrey Tambor and John Moschitta, Jr. respectively. Both had very little announcing experience and it showed. They weren't terrible, but I think that is one thing I wish the Fonz had left alone.
Sadly the audience slowly slipped away and after two years, Squares was canceled. However, the two seasons under Winkler really saved it in my opinion. Nothing against Whoopi personally, as she has done a lot of good for many people and is a brilliant actress and comedienne in her own right, but Squares wasn't her forte, and her ego wasn't very well hidden on here.
The New Hollywood Squares (1986)
Very strong attempt at recapturing the original
Admittedly, any attempt to revive a show that lasted for 15 years is going to be a very difficult task; however this version of Squares is very underrated and should have lasted longer.
Positives: -Theme music. Next to the prize music in the H2 era (2002-2004), this was the best music ever used for the show. Yes it was cheesy, yes it had "80's" written all over it, and yes it was mostly catered to the daytime crowd, but it worked, it was catchy, and it was fun.
-Celebrities. I was surprised when I hear Joan Rivers' comments stating that she felt there wasn't enough "star power" on this version. I thought the cast of celebrities offered up was very unique and varied. Obviously we had the unpredictable and over-the-top Jm J. Bullock, Joan and Alf among others, but it was also cool seeing Richard Simmons on the same show as John Matuszak, having Louie Anderson and Rose Marie taking turns in the center square, or about Howard Stern himself making an appearance on the show, despite his well-known disdain for it. Also making announcer Shadoe Stevens a regular was a neat idea and something that had never been done before. Most announcers are lucky to get so much as an acknowledgment from their host, let alone camera time.
-Shadoe Stevens. OK I have to mention again. He was easily the best announcer Hollywood Squares has ever had. He was enthusiastic and involved, and always did a great job with the introductions of the celebrities. I wish they'd kept him through the entire 98-2004 run.
-The set. The one thing that separates this from the other versions is that the audience is right up close to the celebrities. They literally are the ones that divide the host and contestants from the panel. It did make for some awkward camera angles, but it was still a nice touch.
Negatives: -The end game. It relied too much on chance and not skill. For those not aware, the contestant had to pick a giant prop key out of a jar that might or might not start up one of the cars displayed on the set. There was no process of elimination based on knowledge or success from the main game, so it wasn't very fair. Admittedly, the losing sound effect was funny, and the good luck celebrity was again a nice way to bridge the contestant and panel, but it was completely skewed.
-The bits. Sometimes the game would rely on a visual prop or skit involving the celebrities (Cooking, singing, etc.) It was a distraction and too "cutesy" for my taste, not to mention taking up valuable time from the main game.
You'll note I have not mentioned host John Davidson yet. It's simply because I have no real opinion on him. All in all, he was a pretty good host, and a worthy follow up to Peter Marshall, but hosting didn't really seem to come naturally to him. He clearly knew the game and had fun with it, but he wouldn't have been my first choice, personally speaking. Then again, he had to follow in the footsteps of the Master of the Hollywood Squares, so that no doubt had an effect on his performance.
This show used to rerun quite frequently on USA but has been retired. However, you can still catch some episodes on YouTube. I recommend checking it out.
Aqua Teen Hunger Force: Dickesode (2006)
One of, if not the funniest, ATHF episodes of all time
First of all, if you're a guy who is very sensitive about your nether regions, you may want to be careful around this episode. The plot of the episode revolves around the gang trying to help Carl avoid receive the prize that he won in a "Grip It And Win" contest from a local fast food restaurant; his penis getting ripped off from his body by force. The Hunger Force (well mostly just Frylock) do everything they can to hide Carl from the restaurant's eager and aggressive dick hunters, including a botched sex-change operation on Carl that later has to be reversed. It is revealed The restaurant's owner, Mr. Wongburger who himself is a literal dick, is using the contest to build a "dick-ship" to return to his home planet. When he tries to escape from an angry mob of people who wish to sue him, his rocket crashes into a building that he constructed out of people's dicks. He is not seen again until Season 6.
Without question, this is an episode that I can watch over and over again, although not without cringing out of pain at certain bits. The voices are hilarious, and about 85% of the episode's dialogue is probably its most memorable. It is classic ATHF at its finest, and never seems to get old!
Channel One News (1990)
About the worst thing that could happen to any school.
I am so embarrassed that my school subscribes to this "news" show. Homeroom does not need to be twenty minutes long, and we certainly don't need this. If you don't have it, here it is in a nutshell. One to two minutes of real news, followed by two minutes of commercials, a filler news story, more commercials, and then either a "Pop Quiz" or a plug. That's the problem with CON(as I like to call it, note the acronym), there is too much advertising. Frequently, they even have a "guest anchor", who is just a celebrity plugging their latest CD, movie, etc. What bothers me the most is the teacher's attitudes towards. They almost seem to think it's sacrilege or some sort of mortal sin if you talk or ignore it. In fact, we've been threatened with detention for having the nerve to talk or ignore it in some way. I am sick of being figuratively being told to sit down and shut up so I can watch a TV program that tells me stuff I already know, and I'm sick of watching my classmates being told off for helping each other with homework, studying, or doing something that actually counts for a grade. When I am a parent, I will never send any of my children to a "Channel One School", if such a thing even exists by then.