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Reviews
Shark Season (2020)
Skip Shark Season
Well...I won't say anything about Michael Madsen's performance in SHARK SEASON because I don't want him looking for me. Everyone else mixed up in this tragedy should be shunned, at least until they make it up to us. I happen to admire movies put together on a shoestring dream, but low-budget does not have to mean moronic.
First, if you're going to make a movie about sharks, know something about shark behavior. Everybody else does.
Second, if your film involves kayaking, the performers should have a teensy familiarity with a kayak. These people handled their double-bladed paddles as if they were dragging a corpse through the water.
Third, don't skimp on quality dialogue. Bad and nonsensical lines tempt viewers to bully the actors, even if they wear bikinis.
Fourth, have a script on set with a rational plot. Then we don't have to confront that stupidity with the phones, or the phone calls, or the idea that three kayakers, moving at impossibly slow speeds, can travel so far out that search crews or a helicopter can't spot them, but some guy on a jet ski just happens to cruise past.
And yet we all make mistakes. I say this to anyone involved in the production of SHARK SEASON--a bad movie never drives drunk or pushes an ex-lover in front of a train, so ultimately, no harm, no foul. Think of this experience like one might recall a first boxing match, the one where you got your ass kicked. You can always get back in the ring.
The Apparition (2012)
Don't...
I suppose we're all entitled to squander an hour and twenty minutes of our lives. Don't waste it on this movie.
Roadside (2013)
Please....
Please, do not throw an hour and a half of your life away on this film. The only good outcome is that my wife forgave me for talking her into watching it.