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Reviews
The Neon Demon (2016)
I was REALLY looking forward to this movie....
The trailer made this movie look EPIC and there was more going on in it than one would normally think. Theeeeeeeeen I sat down and watched it and was very disappointed in the outcome. Sure, the visuals were INCREDIBLE, but the story line was completely lost about half way into the movie and the relationships between Elle Fanning's character and everybody else's were missing a lot. I would have liked to have seen just a little more of what was going on with the photographer that did her first shoot. Now, I did like the fact that the movie showed that some of these women in modeling can be pretty cut throat (yes PUN INTENDED!) and will do anything to be the next "it" girl. To me there just wasn't enough story and in the end, it felt like it was a 90-minute performance art piece.
AVPR: Aliens vs Predator - Requiem (2007)
You have GOT to be kidding
I looked forward to this movie because of the Pred-Alien alone...now the way this movie turned out...was pure and utter friggin crap. The action and movie went ENTIRELY too quickly. I am a huge fan of both series of the creatures in this movie as well as a fan of the comic series by Dark Horse..and I know that the movie makers can do better than this! Come on guys! You let down so many fans of BOTH of these series! My biggest beef with ya is the fact that you killed a child on screen...to me that's going for a black list in my book. It's one of the reasons I stopped watching the movie Mimic and took it back to Blockbuster when it first came out on video tape. Just please if you plan on making another one...for the love of GOD please...talk to the fans first! Let's see if you can't get this series back to what it was! Action...violence...gore...and one HELLUVA story line. I don't like reviewing movies often but this movie literally struck a nerve that I can't just abandon because it's an insult to the series of both creatures. Granted Predator 2 and Alien 3 & Resurrection weren't the best in their respective series but they were Oscar winners compared to this! I got faith in you guys that you can do better so let's see what we can do for the next one shall we?
OK Connery (1967)
Rip Off? NEVER!!! Okay Maybe Just A Little....ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! HUGE RIP OFF! Jeezie Chreezie Talk About Peer Pressure
I Mean Come On People! It's One Of The Most Shameless Ripoffs In Film History! Although The Reason Why I Gave This Movie A 5 Was Because I Actually Got To See This Movie On A Sunday Afternoon When A TV Station First Started Out When I Was About 11 Years Old. Me My Brothers And A Few Of The Neighborhood Kids Sat And Started Watching The Movie And Heckled It Within In About Ten Minutes Of The Credits YOU Have To Make The Movie Enjoyable! If You Don't You'll Want Your 90 Minutes Back. When I Seen This Movie On MST3K Almost Ten Years Later I Called And Brother And EVERY Scene We Heckled And Riffed Back Then Was The Same Ones THEY Did! It Was Actually Kiiiiiiiinda Creepy. If You Think This Is Rip Off Of 007 It's SUPPOSED To Be! That's What Makes It So Funny! The Lines Are Some Of The Worst I've Seen In A Long Time But Hey To Each Their Own....Hypnotic Plastic Surgeon...Who Knew?
Don't Cry, It's Only Thunder (1982)
Greatest Movie Of The 80's
When Seeing This Film At The Tender Age Of 10 I Knew What Death And Dieing Were About. I Just Didn't Understand The Premise Of War And Why Children Needed To Die During The Course Of It. Saw It Almost 8 Years Later And Understood. It's Possibly The Greatest Movie Ever Made And I Personally Believe It Was Robert Englund's Best Role. YES Even Better Than The Nightmare Man Himself. When I Met Mr. Englund I Was The Only Person To Ever Mention This Movie. His Face LIT UP! He Said To Me, "Wow! You're The First Person To Mention THAT Movie! I Thought It Was Forgotten! Mr Englund, I Said, That Movie Is Possibly One Of The Best Tearjerkers Ever. NO WAY It's Being Forgotten! He Signed My Magazine And Was Willing To Talk To Me For A Little While Longer Than Everybody Else. But Like I Said...GREATEST 80s MOVIE!
Toys (1992)
The Men Who Were Ahead Of Their Time
The two men I refer to are Barry Levinson and Robin Williams. Barry Levinson for blessing us with such a vision of TRUE childhood innocence and how it's perverted and warped by a world gone mad. Robin Williams (a child at heart) is possibly one of the greatest character actors that has EVER personified said moniker. One minute he can have you laughing until you cry then have you in tears until he makes a joke, making you laugh again. The critics ROASTED this movie because they all grew up (especially on the inside) and just took it too seriously Being a child on the inside myself, I have ALWAYS loved this movie and was one of the few people in the theater in the second week of its theatrical run. Bravo Mr Levinson. Bravo Mr Williams. Never let ANYONE take away that innocence we all have and most of us can't or WON'T acknowledge.
La lengua asesina (1996)
heres a spoiler......avoid this stinker at all costs
first of all let's start out by saying that Robert Englund Doug Bradley and Melinda Clark should be commended for having to be associated with this piece of drivel. i had to give this a 1 it wouldn't let me give it a zero. wanna know how bad this movie is? my mom calls me from across town and tells me "son, i just watched the stupidest movie ever. i responded as saying "the killer tongue huh?" she was like how did you know that? that's how bad this movie is. i mean it looked like a good movie at first Freddy pinhead Melinda. okay i'll give it a chance. i sat through the rest of this movie only because i wrote a column for reviews of horror movies. i implore you, don't waste your time money or even brain cells on this ludicrous piece of crap. run away. far away. if you see it on the shelf at Hollywood video blockbuster or even your local video store, turn it around and walk away....and i still want my two hours back dang it