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Reviews
Californication (2007)
Gagworthy attempt at being the male version of "Sex and the City"
Clearly, I'm in the minority and will be downvoted for my views, but I have rarely felt so repulsed by a show, and this although I rarely have overly negative emotional reactions to art of any kind.
For starters, Californication, to me, felt as though it was trying hard to be the male version of "Sex and the City," which, after all, had concluded just three years prior. This endeavor appears ludicrous at best and hypocritical at worst, because I remember very vividly how liberating to women SATC was. It was the reclaiming of our sexuality and freedoms to choose. Men as a collective have NEVER at any given point in time struggled with the backlash to live freely as a sexual being because there simply is no backlash. Yet on Californication, the women are painted as nags and hysterics because they dislike their spouses' various cheating sexcapades - one more depraved and dubious than the other. Adding to that, the women are depicted as hypocritical because they then "get revenge" (or at times closure) by engaging in the same behavior. It's a weird freaking show.
I understand that Hollywood is a cesspool, and perhaps showing the details (sex, drugs and rock 'n roll) served some purpose to many people in creative industries and the relating lifestyle but I just found it repulsive. I'm no prude by any stretch of the imagination, but I felt like I needed Jesus (and really, the combined firepower of saving grace of all Gods and Ascended Masters) afterwards.
How this was even made and was a critically acclaimed show is only explicable to me due to the fact it was made in the 2000's when trash TV, statutory rape, ableism, body shaming, dubious stances towards trans identities and other by now conventionally more frowned upon behavior were not just the norm, but in fact regarded as "cool."
The 16-year old female CHILD Mia (Madeline Zima) is painted as a vengeful, mentally ill and promiscuous Lolita while all the men who could almost be her grandfather that engage in intimate encounters with her are very clearly presented as victims, too powerless to resist a CHILD, and too powerless to avenge their alleged metaphorical injuries BY said CHILD.
The 12-year old daughter of the main character Hank Moody (David Duchovny) conveys that she is well informed on all matters drugs, sex as well as specifically and explicitly her father's adventurous sex life. Ironically enough, this child behaves more like an adult than the adults around her do. (At least up until and including season 2. I decided I had poisoned my mind enough to keep watching after that.)
So what can you expect from this show, other than unrelatable and irredeemable characters. Hm. Well, for starters, there's people puking all over each other while having private encounters, a threesome between Hank and his agent/brother-type best friend that even topped the cringe factor of Kanye West's existence, and just things that serve to make celibacy appear in a new and glowing light.
I will say that the acting was mostly superb. A star for that, the choice of songs (and scores) as well as the cinematography. Other than that, I don't see how this could be even just marginally entertaining, or in any way enriching to someone's life.
Late Night with the Devil (2023)
Enjoyable, but sad misrepresentation of James Randi
Although I'm not happy with the way this movie mockingly misrepresented the amazing work and personality of James Randi (named Carmichael Haig in the film), it was entertaining to me. I did my best to ignore the subtle swipes up until what to me was a somewhat disappointing ending.
From a Horror perspective, I understand why they went that way because it was bizarre and brutal; sadly it was also just clichéd and not very inventive, falling right into the "Christianity is right" trap/trope. Tedious and overdone at best and in this case declaring science, reason and logic (along with James Randi) nil and void.
The performances by everyone were splendid, however. Dastmalchian once more proved his versatility and depth.
The nod to "The Exorcist" was nicely done and surely appreciated by old Horror hounds.
One thing I found intriguing is that the movie never once felt as though it had lengths despite there only being one set, one location. That was a big plus and quality writing.
Speed (1994)
They don't make 'em like this anymore
The story is simple enough at first glance, but it's amazing what writer(s) and director did with it.
I first watched this when it came out and remember that I thought this was finally a realistic film in terms of not everyone being white. There wasn't as much diversity in film and the arts in the 90's as there is nowadays. So this is something that always stuck with me.
Another element is that we have not only a dauntless but incredibly unorthodox and quick-witted hero. Jack (Keanu Reeves) shoots the hostage, Jack gets off the freeway and onto the airport where air traffic is restricted and news helicopters can't follow, rendering the bomber blind. I loved that we finally had protagonists who make smart decisions because it's another rarity in Hollywood movies.
Annie (Sandra Bullock) is a great match for Jack. Where everyone else lost their heads after the bus driver was shot, she got behind the steering wheel. Her level-headedness was so refreshing to see in an industry that, at that time, usually portrayed women as damsels in distress. But Annie was a bada$$ through and through.
This is an action film but in most other movies in this genre the action is interspersed throughout the film. Here, there truly is never a dull minute. Speed keeps you in suspense without ever letting up and casts you from one action sequence into the next.
That, at the same time, there is a comprehensive plot and we get to know the characters (main and side) so well is nothing short of masterpiece writing and acting.
Bound to Vengeance (2015)
Two shocking twists. One only due to disappointment.
It's wrong to say I enjoyed this movie because the subject matter of human (really: female) trafficking isn't exactly enjoyable, and although there's no assault depicted, some of the flashback and current scenes were quite intense. If you are a survivor of some kind, be mindful this could affect you in some way.
But "Bound To Vengeance" kept me engrossed all throughout.
I found the revenge angle quite understandable and not at all far-fetched. I read some reviews by people complaining that survivors of brutal violence and sufferers of PTSD wouldn't act like that, which is complete nonsense. If you suffer from the affliction or have even just basic psychological training, you are aware that there are many ways in which we may act or not, stop speaking for a whole group of people you don't even belong to.
Furthermore, the reason for the protagonist taking matters into her own hands is explained within the last handful of minutes. It is indeed a heartbreaking motivation, shedding light on the terrible guilt she feels.
The performances are solid. It's a bit uncomfortable to know that the male antagonist apparently has a long police record with charges such as burglary/robbery, physical harassment and other niceties. I guess he didn't have to do any research for his role at least...
The female lead is relatable. She is all raw nerves; anger, pain, vulnerability and resolve all rolled into one.
From hereon out, SPOILERS, SPOILERS, SPOILERS!
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The unfortunate incidents involving the other women's deaths, directly and indirectly caused by the survivor, came as a shock.
Far greater even was the revelation that her boyfriend was the lure for both her and her sister. Gut punch galore.
But the one disappointing and entirely unfathomable twist was the ending. What on earth happened here. I've rarely seen a film fall so flat within just two minutes that it spoiled the entire watch enough to deduct several stars.
The ending is left open and unsatisfactory. Did she return to kill the ring leader or also his (innocent) family? Why did she initially let him go in the first place? Because he may have given her more names, info, cash, as promised? That doesn't seem to fit her personality.
It was just weird. A weird and undeserving ending for an otherwise good film.
Battlestar Galactica: Sometimes a Great Notion (2009)
Quo vadis, Leoben?
This episode is bittersweet on so many levels. Firstly, there is the disappointment over Earth being an uninhabitable wasteland. But without discovering it, the Final Five would not have been able to reconnect with their memories. So far so good.
Far more tragic is the revelation centered around Kara Thrace's two month disappearance. And here is where it gets odd. Leoben Conoy's reaction to it.
Let's remember: Number Two is the man who inexplicably knew Kara inside out, including her deepest pain, shame and misdeeds. He knew her destiny and was virtually obsessed with both it and her alike, even telling her in a moment of nice foreshadowing, "I see an angel blazing with the light of God." He knew his fate was somehow connected with her and that he was a type of guide. He believed in it so strongly that he held her captive on New Caprica in season 3 to break through her rejection and reluctance. So there was no way, EVER, that he would have been dissuaded as easily as in this episode.
For now that Starbuck is revealed to actually be an angel, Leoben...leaves. He's horrified and claims he was wrong about her, about everything. Like, WHAT?!
It appears as though he had lost his faith, which is so unrealistic for this character if you paid attention to how deeply spiritual and faithful he was. Plus here he finally saw his visions and interpretations of the Hybrid confirmed! And yet he abandons Kara entirely.
I literally screamed at the screen the first time I watched this scene and felt they did Leoben and Kara pretty dirty here because many of us had had higher hopes for these two and their spiritual connection.
Of course, there is a real life angle to this whole mess: During the 2008 writers strike, it was unclear what would happen to what magnitude with certain characters, and ultimately Callum Keith Rennie signed on to play Californication, not being able to return for the second half of BSG which had finally settled on wanting to give him a big part in the second half of season 4.
Somehow, the writers now had to quickly write him out, and I guess this was all they could come up with. Which is a shame. But to say it in Casablanca terms, "We'll always have New Caprica," (and the "paint scene") I guess.
Argylle (2024)
Stranger Than Fiction meets Chuck
Sometimes I wonder about how miserable viewers have become over the years. That it needs pointing out this movie is deliberately silly and unrealistic, poking fun at itself and the whole genre, is incredibly sad.
It's a spy *comedy* and if one knows the history of those, they have always been completely over the top. That's exactly which makes them so fun! They're an escape into a world in which struggle and secrecy are met with humor and the reward is a happy end.
So yes, you'll see unrealistic fight and action scenes, which, by the way, were amazingly choreographed and performed, and there will be shocking twist after twist, far-fetched as they may be. But they were also incredibly cleverly written.
Argylle is a mix of the movie "Stranger Than Fiction" and the TV show "Chuck." (Remember Chuck and how everyone tripped over their own feet praising it for everything people on here criticize Argylle for? Yeah...)
I loved the 2000's throwback oversaturated colors and cinematography, too. The colorful dancing scene (I'll word it this way to avoid spoilers) was so much fun to watch and the music perfectly chosen. The same goes for the oil scene, which reminded me of "The Transporter" movie with Jason Statham.
At about 1 hour 30 in it had a segment that could easily have been shortened, in my view. Otherwise it was a wonderfully mood-lifting flick with brilliant acting. Sam Rockwell outperformed himself, even though he had a similar role in "Mr. Right."
And Henry Cavill was more of a repeat-cameo but played his part to perfection.
The leading lady, Bryce Dallas Howard, was a refreshing addition also because she isn't an early 20's Twiggy type and her transformation was well acted.
Battlestar Galactica: Pegasus (2005)
Powerful episode depicting the horrors of power corruption
This is a strong episode filled with more spiritual (particularly Biblical, i.e. Admiral Cain) references.
It comes shortly after D'Anna Biers' documentary that originally sought to portray the crew of Battlestar Galactica as callous, monstrous and lacking a conscience. In this episode, with the introduction of the Pegasus, we see what that would actually look like.
The abuse of prisoners is realistically depicted in all its hideousness. It's painful to watch and important to see to understand these things aren't just happening in a sci fi show but still happen every day because people like Cain and her aubordinates still exists in places of power. To criticize showing reality is misguided.
I'm also amused by the opinion that the two crews couldn't be different because they had the same schooling. REALLY. Here's a great example: Donald Trump (who needs no further introduction) is a Wharton graduate, but so is fashion entrepreneur Anand Ahuja. I think few would disagree that the two could not BE more different from each other.
What Jennifer Did (2024)
Use of A.I. generated images in deceptive manner and stolen content from hobby YouTuber
Attentive people noticed that there was something amiss with images used for this "documentary." As always, it was the fingers and hair first giving it away and later research confirmed it: The "documentary" makers created A. I. images of a happy Jennifer throwing peace signs to indicate she was unbothered by the attack on her parents. This is shameful and dangerous both, as it falsifies reality.
There is no doubt Jennifer planned this heinous crime but that information, along with ACTUAL evidence, must be enough. What about other cases? Cases still on trial, or being investigated? There have been documentaries about ongoing and active cases, after all. Added issues are trial by media resulting in biased juries, and/or the fact that judges may be up for re-election and feel pressured to come to a certain verdict, all directly influenced by A. I. lies. We have already seen this type of corruption (Menendez case/Judge Weisberg) without A. I. and the latter may make things far worse because the more this technology advances, the more difficult it will be to tell the difference between fact and fabrication. Such images or even deep-faked video footage can severely impact a case to a magnitude we can't even fully calculate yet, in terms of ultimate ripple effect and results.
So yes, here comes a new low of people feigning to show us the unadulterated truth. The old adage "An image says more than a thousand words" has never fully held true to begin with but has now lost all meaning. I hope laws will be put in place to prevent misleading viewers and steering opinions in that manner in the future.
Also, and this has been said multiple times, the whole crockumentary was a sad and unsuccessful rip-off of the brilliant YouTube channel JCS Psychology whose creator both examined the case as well as the young offender's mental state. (The latter which this "documentary" entirely neglected.)
To steal for monetary gain from a little YouTube channel is embarrassing enough but that with all that fantastic source material the end product was but a tedious, excruciatingly boring (and thanks to the A. I. issue factually dubious) affair is simply unforgivable.
Living with the Dead (2002)
Lie-opic of unparalleled sadism
It's incredibly sad that a proven fraud, who has played with people's most vulnerable emotions centered around loss and grief, got his own pseudo-biopic. It's a lie-opic, really.
Even sadder is that celebrities with this reach and level of influence (Ted Danson, Queen Latifah and Mary Steenburgen) gave their names to support this train wreck of a production.
Verifiably, Van Praagh did NOT ever solve any cases for law enforcement. Verifiably, Van Praagh was analyzed, tested and debunked with scientific methods.
A better watch than this movie would be all of James Randi's videos debunking mediums and psychics, showing in detail how, with hot and cold readings, mentalism, showmanship, psychology, and subtle coercion, such conmen appear to know so much about our deceased loved ones as well as ourselves. And they all do it for large sums of money.
Even Derren Brown did a whole special on debunking an alleged medium.
This movie is the cherry on top of Van Praagh's sadistic cruelty towards deeply hurt and struggling people.
The way this movie depicts the protagonist as this meek, reluctant teddy bear type with a heart of gold is even more perplexing if you know Van Praagh and his methods as well as the lack of empathy and absence of a conscience it takes to go through with what he does to people.
Bottom line: An absolutely disgusting movie.
Intrusion (2021)
One major logic flaw
It didn't matter to me that I knew from the get-go where this movie was headed; there's only so much you can do in terms of storylines and surprise twists, particularly when it comes to Thrillers.
BUT. The biggest issue was with the fact that the abducted woman's father helped build the house...yet didn't think to check the secret basement underneath the office of the man he had claimed had creepily eyed his daughter shortly before her disappearance?! Him and his boy were just aimlessly trashing/searching the house instead.
Alternatively, they could have also just gone to the police. Now granted, the dad did say on the video he knew the police thought him and his family "were trash" but it's a missing person's case. The police will have questioned them to try and clear them. And dad didn't think to mention the eerie employer who'd serial killery lusted after his daughter?! This massive plot hole made me deduct some stars unfortunately. The acting is solid, particularly by Logan Marshall-Green.
There were a few scenes and info that added nothing to the plot, although it became clear this was added to try and give the wife some depth and likeability. Instead I would have liked to see more of the husband's background and how he became this way.
Nowhere (2023)
A steel shipping container CAN float
A steel shipping container may float at sea despite what anyone else in this review section may claim, so to rate this movie one star because of that is ludicrous. And here is how this works:
Containers will eventually sink as they are not completely watertight. The timespan of sinkage depends on the the type of container, its permeability and the cargo itself. Some containers sink immediately, while there are stories of containers floating across the Atlantic - in one case, taking 15 months to cross the Atlantic from the Caribbean to Spain. Once in the sea, water will enter through vents and seals. However, containers laden with lightweight, low density and buoyant cargo can float for years even when holed and waterlogged. The cargo itself may have enough uplift to keep the container unit afloat. I gathered this info from various shipping container websites.
Here's what was less realistic: Cell reception in the middle of the ocean. It IS a Dystopian world, so we'll just go with - in the future that is possible. Who knows, 25 years ago teachers told me I wouldn't have a calculator wherever I go and now we all have cell phones that prove that theory wrong.
The only serious issue that you couldn't argue away was really that mother and newborn would with almost certainty died of hypothermia.
I did laugh out loud when the whale came to "save the day." That was a bit much.
Otherwise an okayish movie. Great premise, exscution so-so. It did have its lengths and should, in my view, have been at least half an hour shorter.
The Reef: Stalked (2022)
Slow but watchable
One star for the water bubbles which were so incredibly hard at work covering the shark enough that we hardly ever even get a glimpse of it. And if we do, it's just the fin or a shadow. I guess there wasn't a budget for CGI. That's okay, and that wouldn't have been a problem, but the lack of a story is one.
I appreciate they tried to give at least one of the characters a backstory, but firstly that one took up too much time, and also if that's all there is and the other characters are cardboard cut-outs, well...it just doesn't work too well.
The acting wasn't great. Example: the mom who watched her child be thrown into the water with the shark and didn't instinctively shriek, cry, run to get a weapon and then plunge herself into the water to save her kid (I mean, harpoons and stuff do exist...). She was just standing there wide-eyed, seemingly half-bored encouraging her offspring: "Swim faster!" Gee, thanks, mom.
Now, a few people noted they didn't think sharks behaved like this, meaning the stalking. But if you watch shark documentaries, they do. There are also different survivor accounts of how their dinghy was followed by a shark and he got them one by one. And it's known that just like serial killers sharks return to places where they were successful before. So this part was realistic at least.
The last 20-30 minutes are probably where most of the suspense happens, though not to the degree of the first Reef movie (which is truly awesome), or other rightfully successful shark movies, because once you finally get to see the whole shark (especially in the shot where his head surfaces above water) you can tell these are archive footage bits, probably from some documentary. Again, this isn't necessarily terrible, just very noticeable and took away from the danger factor.
The end "fight" was okay though.
Overall a bit slow and the constant flashback scenes were a tad distressing, in my view.
The Requin (2022)
Scary mainly due to the horrific acting
I can't remember if Alicia Silverstone could ever act because it's too long I've seen her in anything. Overacting doesn't even begin to describe it. Truth be told, I have no idea what she was doing in this movie, other than screech like a bat, and I guess when she scrunched up her face it was supposed to be crying. I felt second-hand embarrassment all over the place while watching this movie, and she was largely what made the film as unbearable as it is. But halt, there's more.
First of all, I like the general premise of a tropical storm sweeping a little hotel hut into the ocean and the characters having to try and survive. But this was more a marital drama (and a weird one) rather than an action flick. There was mainly just boring conversations, accusations and screeching by Silverstone. What should have been the movie's strongest selling point and main focus merely served as backdrop. I felt like I was watching the ocean edition of some Jane Austen movie.
The CGI was cringeworthy. The very few times the shark was actually shown, I thought I could have drawn a better one. The ultimate jumping the shark moment - literally, no, listen, I mean literally - occurred when the shark jumped up out of the water like a dolphin and came at Silverstone in her little dingy, snapping at her like a rabid dog. It wasn't just that it was ridiculous and unrealistic but it just didn't seem to fit with a movie which had tried hard to be a drama, to be taken seriously and even added a lengthy tragic backstory so people could "relate" amid the sparse and far-fetched action bits.
James Tupper, why are you in movies like this, sigh. Tupper is a really solid actor, he simply deserved better. Kudos to him for spending months with someone screeching at him at the top of their lungs. I hope he's not deaf or suffers from PTSD after that experience.
Angel: Blood Money (2001)
Nice Easter Egg
I'm surprised so many people did not pay enough attention to realize the major Easter Egg in this episode, the true motivation for Angel to return to his friends: The head of the homeless shelter who now goes by Anne.
In Buffy The Vampire Slayer, she went by the name "Chanterelle," and was part of a vampire cult, briefly meeting Angel in Sunnydale. She reappeared in BTVS season 3 when Buffy went by her middle name Anne while waitressing in L. A., ultimately asking Buffy if she could borrow that name to use it for herself. "Anne" even mentions meeting Angel years ago but obviously neither of them recognize the other.
Angel once helped her turn her life around and now she is doing the same for him. Without "Anne," he wouldn't have reconnected with his friends. This is a very sweet little episode, plus it has Mark Rolston (Alastair in SPN) in it too, so great fun all around!