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4/10
Meh.
15 September 2018
I was expecting much more of this movie with so much hype around it. The group of heroes does not have that much tension as it should have. I mean, the group consists of different species, but they are so generic, there is a "guy from Earth, Han Solo style", "hot chick", "idiot muscle guy", "talking racoon", and a "tree", who are trying to kill each other from start, but suddenly trust one another with their lives. No second thoughts, no tension. We are not introduced to any of the heroes and/or villains thoroughly - we can see that Peter's mother died when he was young... And then what? Apparently, there is more to the story of every character, but we get only partial information and only to the end of the movie. Then we have some blue villains and shooting starships, and all the generic sci-fi stuff, which is great... But this has been seen before (even the story with the powerful artifact and villain from another planet is not that uncommon, last time we have seen it, was Thor: Dark World, which was a just two movies before this in the series). So yeah, for this movie to be something more, the characters would have to be more believable. And I don't blame the actors, I blame the scriptwriters. Some of the scenes are frankly unbelievable and utter BS (the danceoff scene, etc) Some characters and sets resemble other movies (The Collector and others -> Hunger Games style).

In my opinion, this movie fall into the same category as Upside Down and Jupiter Ascending - nice graphics and all, but just for the sake of itself.
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Star Trek (1966–1969)
5/10
Don't start watching this if you are not a fan already
21 January 2018
I know that Star Trek is a huge series with a lots of hardcore fans etc, but as a person who has never seen it before, and started only recently, I was drastically disappointed. Yes, I know that it is from the late 60s, so I expected that the "hi-tech" stuff will not be so much hi-tech now, and that does not bother me, I am okay with that. What bothers me is the production quality, that, from my point of view, too low.

Just a quick list:
  • It seems that (after watching 4 episodes, I could not force myself to another one), that every episode could be executed in 20-30 minutes, but takes 50. This is very basic problem, there are unnecessarily long pauses and shots of no importance, so I got bored very quickly. Maybe in late 60s when there was nothing else on TV it was OK, but now, I can't go through it.
  • most of the times there are no "unnecessary" people in the rooms, just the people who have the dialogue. Sometimes when the scene takes place in hallways, we can see somebody going in the opposite direction, but the same should apply in the rooms. I mean, big rooms like the medical quarters, cafeteria, some main control rooms - but no, there are almost always only the main protagonists. But it's supposed to be a bloody big ship, so where are the people?
  • The plot "twists" are so predictable - They go to some planet, find somebody or something, and then weird things start happening on the ship. Of course it has to do something with the fact that you just visited the alien planet! And they seem not to get it.
  • Lazy camera work
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Upside Down (I) (2012)
4/10
Inconsistent physics, incomplete story, nice imagery
8 September 2017
Warning: Spoilers
::SPOILER FREE section:: The problem with gravity is that it is everywhere, so it's hard to fake it in movies. Okey, let's say I would accept the "laws of gravity" stated at the beginning of this movie as some thing that I will believe in this movie (although it is utterly bullshit). But even then, the movie fails to deliver scenes that work according to these laws. Their own laws! Why do you make up some laws of physics and then ignore them 50% of the time??

::SPOILER in this section:: The story is totally flat and fails everything. Why did he not tell her who he was? He did not know she had amnesia, so telling her who he was would have been most natural. Then he would learn she has amnesia, and he would explain it to her, or tell her something to help remember... Noooo, that would "ruin" the plot, right? Wrong! It would make the plot more realistic, if you want some twist, make something different than "random stupid decisions and not telling who I am" stuff. Also, how did they manage to get pregnant? Why does she love him? They have nothing to build their relationship upon...

::SPOILER FREE section:: The imagery was quite interesting, although not always logical, and some scenes were obviously CG'd - I mean, it was too obvious, that there is some CG in some scenes - like the jump to the cable car...

The only decent character in this movie was Timothy Spall's Bob
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6/10
generic story in spectacular visual effect, Jupiter Jones ???
5 August 2017
Warning: Spoilers
The idea that planets are harvested for live-force, wasn't that Stargate: Atlantis? But the plot is rather sketchy, characters are not developing much. Visuals of the movie are pretty awesome though. I think they have one of the most beautiful wormholes I've seen, also the cities and dresses of the nobility are most charming. So in a way, this movie is like the Pacific Rim. Some generic story, and awesome visuals, and magic boots (instead of giant robots).

And then there are the generic clichés - the girl cleans toilets, joke about DMV when doing intergalactic bureaucracy, girl and hero fall in love, blah-blah.

But my biggest issue with this movie is: JUPITER JONES IS A BOY ! (friend of Bob and Peter). If you want to name the girl Jupiter for whatever plot purposes, at least use different surname than Jones. Now every time they say the name, I imagine the Other Jupiter in that situation (particularly wrong during the wedding...)
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6/10
Weird is the right word
31 July 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Were you expecting comedy? Well, the movie ain't that much funny, there are some truly comic parts, and some scenes that make you smile (e.g. the part when Mr. Gustave delivers the meal to the inmate with scar on his face), but not so much of a comedy in general.

Were you expecting drama? Forget about it. The character development is weird - *spoiler*: Mr. Gustave seems like well-organized man with sense for reality and rather smart, yet we are witnesses to a stupid dialogue when he escapes the jail and all he cares about is his cologne. Also, there are several details that make the drama fall apart, like a taxi in 30s with modern TAXI sing. Moments like that, you forget about the drama and ask yourself - what the heck? Why?

Were you expecting action movie / thriller? Nope. Some people die, we can also see some "action", but the scenes only add more weirdness (downhill ski chase shot in double speed from upside with totally fake terrain - it's like some PC sport game from the end of 90's).

And when you start thinking, the movie is finally moving somewhere, it ends.

Even 30 minutes after the end, I still had that "What????" feeling.
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