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Reviews
Barnyard (2006)
As far as movies go, this ones the man
To start, if I was by myself this movie probably would have sucked. Since I wasn't, this could quite possibly be the greatest movie ever and how it wasn't even nominated for Best Animated feature is beyond me.
This movie is exactly like the Lion King in every way except louder, crazier, and non making senseier. I would encourage everyone to see this movie because its so ridiculous and you never know what the plot is. Which isn't usually a great thing, but this time it's okay.
There is, however, only one catch to watching this movie; you cant go in with a negative attitude, you have to be ready to laugh. And if you get in that mood at four in the mourning, watch out, for you might mess your pants.
Batman & Robin (1997)
put away the plastic icicles and make a movie!
This was the most frustrating movie in the world to watch. There are so many well-known actors and actresses that you think something good should happen. The acting is so painfully bad that I actually felt embarrassed for them and wanted to hide my face.
The "Ice Man" portrayed by Ahnald was my favorite character. His beautiful performance brought tears to my eyes. Such lines like,"You're not sending ME to the COOLER!" And his over use of plastic icicles just made me want to buy a diamond powered freeze gun.
Uma Thurman, normally plays the smokin' hot eye candy in her movies, does NOT do that this time. She had a great chance to be that girl in this movie if it wasn't for the banana leaf eye brows and nosebleedingly bad lines like, "There's just something about an anatomically correct rubber suit that puts fire in a girl's lips," Ummm... thats just weird and pointless.
To sum up everything I've said... I hate this movie and you should to.
Kung Fu Chaos (2003)
Kung Fu... Chaos at its finest
This is game is one of the best video games out I'm shocked that I am the first person to comment on it in three years. Everyone should own a copy... and if you don't go buy it for like five bucks because it's been out so long and it is completely unappreciated by everyone. Not only is it a challenging, entertaining, adventurey, funny, and awesomely sweet game but is appropriate for everybody and I can't see one reason why anyone wouldn't like it. Old people, young adults, old adults, teens, preteens, younger kids, babies, this game is the best game since pacman. The multi-player levels are by far the best because you are able to totally own all your friends because you are the master of a game no one has ever heard of... but everyone SHOULD own. Forget those new Xbox 360 games... they are inferior compared to this masterpiece. Hands down THE most addicting game. Don't believe me? Then buy it and comment on this page!
Vom Zaren bis zu Stalin (1962)
What?
My teacher also decided to get this movie without previously viewing and... ugh! This was so boring that when I actually tried as hard as I could to watch it, I would still stare off into space without even noticing. There were parts in this movie that were unintentionally hilarious, this would be the only redeeming factor. They showed about thirty men skinny dipping for about five straight minutes for NO reason! It was amazingly funny because of how serious the narrator's voice was. Also the narrator was a complete joke, his comments wouldn't match the pictures on the screen and at one part he attempted to do a women's voice SERIOUSLY! He wasn't even joking! To make a long long long long story short this mock mockumentary should never be viewed in front of any class unless your just gonna laugh at it.
P.S- There are some nastily racist remarks that the narrator repeats and emphasizes for (once again) no reason!
Toy Story (1995)
A catalyst in the field of computer animation
This was the first feature film that was done entirely by computers, and Pixar couldn't have done a better job. Not only is this movie hilarious, touching, and well plotted, but it lead the way for every other computer animated movie, and really set the bar high. If this movie had completely bombed there would no more, or at least not as many, CGI films and we would still be seeing drawn animation. Not to mention that the absolute perfect voice talents were cast to make such a memorable movie for kids and adults and teens and preteens and seniors and new borns or anybody else who eyes and hears or either or. This movie can not me avoided and is a cultural landmark that has opened the door for a completely new genre of movie making.
Snakes on a Plane (2006)
Can Someone Not Like this Movie?
Everything in SoaP was absolutely sensational. Who knew there were so many ways to kill a snake and have snakes kill passengers. As previously said Big Samual L. Jackson undoubtedly stole this show with corny, but very effective lines. When I went to see this I expected hardcore action, gore, and violence but I had no idea it was going to be this insanely funny. The snake expert was totally perfect for his nerdy role. Remember, time is tissue! Outstanding. The CGI snakes weren't as corny as I thought they looked in the previews. Actually, they were pretty perfect. Of course I, like everyone else, recommend this movie to anyone with a pulse.