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garychapman72
Reviews
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds: Subspace Rhapsody (2023)
I give up. Goodbye SNW
Make up your mind. ST or ST Parody... but not both. They've squandered an excellent opportunity for Pike storylines... and managed to pull off a "reverse Orville"
Orville started as a toilet humour parody ... improved the humour in season 2 ... then realised they could actually pull off serious storylines befitting TNG. As a result they rescued the show.
SNW is about to do the reverse and seem set to destroy what could have been an amazing show... by devolving into parody garbage.
If this was their intention they should have left Pike and the Enterprise out of it... knowing it would anger the ST fanbase and ultimately poison what should have been a rich vein of story material.
I can't watch any more of this nonsense. I hope it gets cancelled quickly and the writers end up in SciFi hell!
1/10.
Intergalactic (2021)
Oh, good God no!
I really thought I'd seen it all, especially when it came to bad movies/series ... but Intergalactic is 'special'. A script that, not only feels like it was written by a bunch of five year olds... but, ones who weren't allowed to communicate with each other or cooperate in any way.
The acting? Horrible... The dialogue, ridiculous... the Universe, pointless and confusing... The FX and nonsensical 'futurese' made me giggle a few times, but that got old VERY fast.
I really love cheesy terrible movies... but movies eventually end. The true horror of this show is that, given it's low budget, it may just drag out forever : /
Room 104: The Last Man (2020)
What's with this season?
Please get some fresh writing talent... or send them on a vacation... or something! Anything but continue with this long drawn out death of a once-loved series.
I think it's probably fair to say that this season has really not been up to par, but at least most of the episodes rose to meet the low bar of "watchable". But "Last Man" really stands out as the low point of an embarrassingly mediocre season. It feels like they've just stopped trying : (
It's almost like 2020 has been such a bust that even the TV has just given up and embraced the suck. I'm still hopeful they can reinvigorate the writing team and rescue this for 2021, but the way this season has gone I'm half expecting the show to get cancelled... and, in it's current sorry state, a cancellation might even be a blessing. So, decision time ... either pick it up, or put it out of its misery.
Fortunately, "Inside Number 9" is still as dark and twisted as ever.
Orbit Ever After (2013)
If you love Terry Gilliam...
In terms of style, story, sets and filmatography... this is a lusciously absurd and beautiful movie that could easily be confused for a Gilliam movie. Anyone who loved the absurdist futurism of 'Brazil' or 'Zero-Theorem' will love this short and identify with the story-telling style.
Will someone please PLEASE pick this up for a feature length project? As it stands it's an easy sell... or, with Sir Gilliam on board (and I'm sure he certainly would be) a full length version of this this would literally sell itself.
Basically, this is a full and satisfying Gilliamesque movie made in 20-minute short form ... The characters are utterly amazing, the writing is superb and the plot is, at once, inspiring, tragic, funny, beautiful and incredibly sweet.
Forget your average student short - here, the production values are every bit a masterpiece... making this film a true jewel among shorts. Certainly, all Gilliam fans should watch this.
Worzel Gummidge (2019)
Oh my god, why?
This lacks any of the charm of the original (1979-1981)
I really tried hard to like it, but like so many modern remakes it completely seems to miss the point - everything that made the original such a classic.
If you liked this and really want a treat - you really need to see Jon Pertwee's version.... he really throws himself into the character and the result is delightful.... The Crow Man (the equivalent of the Green Man of the remake) is another outstanding character ... and the pretty Aunt Sally, played by Una Stubbs, is Worzels love interest - not a bossy and unappealing relative.
So, whats missing in the remake? Problably a genuine affection for the characters... the original was a labour of love from, where as this new version feels cheap and disposable. Perhaps they'll grow into it as the series goes on.
I get that this should be seen as it's own thing... but nobody who has seen both can avoid making an unfavourable comparison with the original. It is nowhere near as good : (
On the bright side, it has prompted me to go revisit Pertwee.
The Mind of Herbert Clunkerdunk (2019)
Wotch it you numpty!
I liked the bit where the girl did that thing like a balloon going big like pfffffff pffff pffffffff till she was big like a house and then Prprprprprprprphft! all around the room like a squirrel, but like a squirrel that was being just like a balloon going Prprprprprprprpft!
Mister Tachyon (2018)
Spectacular fail
This could have been an intelligent mockumentary... but then it throws away the satire and tries to play straight. Or, it could have been a straight documentary... except it throws out its credibility in the initial premise.
Mister Tachyon spectacularly fails to be anything at all. Except, perhaps, fuel for the occasional deeply delusional, tin-hat wearing, card carrying, nut-jobs.
Whatever its intended audience, it seems to go out of it's way to disenfranchise the bulk of them with its conflicting theme and backstory. This is sloppy, lazy, garbage that really ought to have picked a direction before picking up a camera.
Insatiable (2018)
It's a grower : )
So many poor reviews on here, and reading through then it's pretty clear that they didn't give it a chance to get started.
The twisted humour picks up as the story develops building to a real dark season finale. What I'd initially expected to be a rather juvenile and forgettable series just grew and grew in value as the season progressed.
If you've seen episode one - just be aware that that is NOT what this series is. It's funny, it's dark, it's twisted - the characters are both likable and detestable in equal measure, each having their moment to shine. At times it is deliciously twisted.
And I did find myself laughing out loud at some of the inappropriate and ll-chosen phrases that Bob and others keep dropping. The "Tampazzle" thing was wonderfully inappropriate for example.
Although much of the damage has already been done by premature negative reviews I'm certain this series will continue to build followers and climb the rankings. The writing is wickedly funny at times, sad at others and I can't wait for Season 2.
Give it a chance and it'll reward you : )
2012 (2009)
I lasted 5 minutes
Dialogue was comically poor. But just before the 5 minute mark the premise is revealed and it was so terrible I gave up and stopped watching.
SPOILER (Literally)
The neutrinos from the sun have mutated and turned into a new kind of particle that acts like a microwave. Deep underground they reveal a column of water boiling away merrily ...
... humans, obviously, not affected... hot dogs not slowly cooking in their packets... microwave popcorn isn't jumping off supermarket shelves... water anywhere else on the planet just fine...
... no... only water deep underground in a neutrino detection pool is boiling. Because ... well ...neutrinos. underground. stuff.
So the sun is now a microwave and the eaths core is cooking, water is boiling, but only in special places ... and blood isn't.
The fact that I just paid to rent this movie is starting to boil my urine.
Avoid, it's a complete crock. For the budget you'd think they'd hire someone with a red pen, to strike out all the utter garbage in the script. It would have worked just as well with something a little more credible ...
... like a huge coronal discharge
... or a sudden increase in heat output generally
... or zombie teddy-bears with nasty burny lazer eyes
In the end I chose to stop the movie and re-watch weekend at bernies.
Scorpion (2014)
Insanely bad
I've just watched s01e01
If you're even remotely intelligent, you're going to be sorely disappointed. I counted more than 30 glaring factual errors in the first episode alone, some so hilariously bad that it almost felt like they must be doing it on purpose.
... unfortunately, it's not a comedy. It should have been.
Facts, Math, Physics, Aeronautics, Magnetism, IQ's, Electronics, Cars and basic Logic were all glaringly wrong. It seems this show doesn't have any researchers... not even terrible ones just phoning it in.
It's not even like I'm some grumpy pragmatist either - heck, I enjoyed the 80's TV show 'The A-Team'... so clearly something is very VERY wrong here. It's 2017 and they're still treating their audience like they don't know jack about technology. Sorry Scorpion, but I know 7 year olds who could cheerfully pick this show apart
Such a shame. I really wanted to like this, but it's a complete pile.
To the Scorpion staff: If you want to make a show about very smart people, perhaps hire some capable researchers and writing staff. It doesn't have to be 100%... but it should at least attempt to make some kind of basic sense.
I guess I'll have to find something else to binge watch.
Dear White People (2017)
This white middle-aged male loved it
Okay, I'll admit that at first it made me a little uncomfortable. Like many of the negative reviewers I thought it was racist, I felt it was a bit unfair, I felt like some of the black characters were stereotypes.
But by around Ep03 I got over it and settled in for what proved to be a deeply engaging and darkly satirical work.
Sure, there are stereotypes... but isn't that how every movie, TV show and comedy routine work. Those that don't 'get' that, either have difficulty watching any entertainment - or, and I suspect more likely, they're simply uncomfortable at being confronted.
There's a fair amount of comedy in this, but it's often subtle. At other times it's outrageously satirical. I feel those that were triggered by this simply didn't get the satire and failed to engage with the writing in anything but a superficial detached way.
Anyway... this white middle aged male loved it.
The characters were amazing, the actors did a great job of bringing them to life and the dark writing cut like a knife. Most importantly, it made me uncomfortable in all the right ways.
If you're white and thinking of watching this : - Check your privilege at the door - Realise that it's a satire - Prepare to get woke
I'd love to see a second season of this. It's clever, dark, funny, sad ... and I miss the characters already.
Favourite moment: the "12 minutes" response to a white girl performing some interpretive dance appropriating black culture. I laughed so hard.
More of this please : )
Left Behind (2014)
As a Christian ...
I'm thoroughly ashamed of this drivel. It's an arrogant, thoughtless and harmful propaganda piece that showcases the very worst of Christian moralizing.
Looking beyond that to production values, there is literally nothing redeeming one can say about it. Cage is painfully out of place in this juvenile production which feels like it was penned by children. The incidental music is awful, the acting is ludicrous and the whole thing feels like it was shot by a camera team who's only experience is in a Home Shopping studio.
I've often enjoyed movies with poor production values. I've often felt engaged by movies who's message I didn't entirely agree with...
... but I cannot remember a time that a movie actually made me feel personally insulted.
And there's a sequel on the way? For the love of God, Stop!
Sapphire & Steel (1979)
Early British sci-fi at it's very best
Apart from 'Assignment 1' which clearly struggles a little, this show is an absolute TV gem. I do worry that modern audiences weened on CGI creatures and big budgets might find it difficult to engage with at first.
So, here is a 40somethings view...
I was quite young when it first aired and I wasn't allowed to watch it after begging to watch one episode - and then being too frightened to sleep (I was a sensitive kid). After that one viewing, I couldn't even hear the theme tune without getting distressed. I didn't get the opportunity to view it again until my late 20's Like much of the TV of that period it is low budget and feels much like a play in it's delivery. To counter the low budget difficulties the show was produced on very small sets - and this lead to a very cramped, claustrophobic feel which pervades the entire series.
The result is a show which is hard to watch without genuinely feeling quite trapped.
By way of comparison: the early doctor who's from about the same period tried to do so much more with a similarly low budget, and it shows. By keeping the sets small S&S creates worlds which are detailed and dark, cramped and claustrophobic ... and this leads to a level of viewer tension you really don't get from the early Doctor Who... or, indeed, any modern attempts at sci-fi or sci-fi horror.
Since my impressionable childhood I've become quite the horror buff and love the deeply psychological horror that Hollywood seems largely incapable of producing. But every so often I return to re-watch this series, and every time it manages to draw me back in.
Yes, it's low budget and it really is showing it's age... but it gets so much right. after all, good horror is rarely about what you see - it's about what you don't.
And that's what you get in S&S. Storytelling in its purest form... uncluttered, tense and utterly engaging.
The Odd Couple (2015)
More dud than odd
This is truly awful.
I'm not sure whether it's the terrible acting, poor delivery or the lazy writing. The jokes, if one can call them that, are unimaginative and instantly forgettable. If it wasn't for the overbearing laughter track you'd miss them entirely.
It's nothing that a complete change of writers and actors couldn't turn around though.
I'd like to say that it won't make it past this first season. Unfortunately, given how easy it is to churn out this banal crud without thinking, I wouldn't be surprised if they just keep cranking that handle.
Barefoot (2014)
A rom-com with a difference
Some reviews on here criticise that the male protagonist learns that you can just continue behaving badly until it pays off. I think those reviewers miss the point rather spectacularly. They're demanding the formula they've come to expect - no doubt if the movie WAS as perfectly formulaic as they expect they'd almost certainly criticise this too.
Personally, I felt that the male character DOES progress so the criticism is unwarranted on both levels.
Personally, I loved this movie. Woods acting is wonderful and she portrays the naive female lead expertly. All the characters were believable.
It's a lovely rom-com with less than perfect characters and which doesn't force morality down your throat... for this reason alone I consider barefoot refreshing.