Reviews

This film has no excuse to be this bad being made in 2012. There were many bad zombie films before and I'm sure more will come, but with "The Walking Dead" making the genre relevant and decent, this waste of time should never have seen the light of day. I'm even downgrading it because I feel they owe me 90 minutes of my life back. My review title says it all - stay away.

George Clooney plays a handsome (surprise) father trying to battle 3 fronts in this drama that, as described on the box, is bittersweet. I enjoyed this movie, though I didn't find it especially funny or witty as also labeled on the box and feel it was over-hyped as a picture-of-the-year nominee (from the "celebrated" director of "Sideways" of which I am not a fan). It feels like it is the middle act in a 3 act play: when the movie begins, his wife is already in a coma from a recent boating accident, his siblings and cousins (the "descendants") are 18 years in to a 30 year land agreement and he is acting as executor over a huge financial decision, he is estranged from his older daughter for unknown reasons, and he is left to deal with finally being a father to his youngest daughter. Some of these are resolved but without any climactic closure, and the film ends with others unresolved. I have no issue with open endings in movies to a point, but this felt like there was already a lack of build up and then it was just over. The acting was exceptional and the story was relatable, the Hawaiian scenery was gorgeous, but it was lacking in the cinematic "oomph" I was expecting. 6/10, rewatchability 3/10

With the appearance of another Muppet film at the box office, it's time to go back and review the old ones. This is the original 1979 movie, not the 2012 relaunch. I believe this to still be the best of all the Muppet films, if for no other reason than it tells the story of the Muppets, not tell a story with Muppets IN it. It is a magnificent introduction to all of these great characters, or course focusing on Kermit, and I can't help but revert back to the seven-year-old me that fell in love with a frog and a bear and a pig and a dog and a....whatever, and feel the same excitement I had back then. The jokes remain as funny or corny as they were then and there's still all the heart and soul that Jim Henson and company breathed into them 35 years ago. And all the great songs! The only thing that is sadly aged is the cameo appearances of movie stars of the time, none of which my children recognize or have any idea who they are (okay, they know Steve Martin from the "Pink Panther" films and Mel Brooks as "Yogurt", but most are unknown to them). Always worth a repeat or reminder viewing. 9/10

This is one of the few indie films that really hits all the right chords and appeals to a wide audience. I really enjoyed this movie when I first saw it in 2007 and besides nitpicky issues with some of the early dialog, I still think it's really great. It's intelligently funny, but has a lot more heart than most straight-out comedies, and paces out a great story. Even though the main characters are a bit outside of the mainstream, I think most people can identify with most of them, and the acting is top-notch. It's real and serious enough to serve as a warning about teenage pregnancy in a middle school sex ed class while still being fun and heartwarming. 8/10

The ultimate in geek culture. The story involves a nobody weirdo taking up the mantle of a costumed vigilante to right society's wrongs (no, it's not "Kick-Ass"). His sidekick works at a comic book store (but a little unrealistic because it's a girl). A cast that includes Rainn Wilson (The Office), Liv Tyler (LoTR), Michael Rooker (Walking Dead), Ellen Page (X-Men, Juno), Nathan Fillion (Firefly, DC animated specials), Linda Cardinelli (Freaks & Geeks), and throw in Kevin Bacon (X-Men: First Class) so now the 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon game officially includes EVERYONE EVER. Then wrap the whole thing in a bunch of hyper-violent blood-letting. The first 2/3 of the film is fun while a little disturbing, the final third is a bit dark and almost too real after all of the goofy fantasy parts. No surprise, the acting is superb and it's pretty well written. Anyone in the geek couture over the age of 15 should enjoy it, but definitely not for everyone. 7/10

I really don't think there is a better exposure you can get to British humor than the Python group and while I'm sure I'll be threatened with many a flesh wound, this movie is their most hilarious, mostly because instead of telling a cohesive story, it contains shorter vignettes of the stages of life that allowed them to pack in the lunacy without being contained within an extended storyline. There's the absurd and unsentimental miracle of birth, bashing Catholics and a musical number about sperm, live demonstration in a sexual education class, the casual nature of British military commanders, the repulsive last meal of the world's fattest man, organ donation and finally, death and a glimpse of heaven. So much timeless ridiculousness. If you haven't seen it, get your head out of your arse and do. 9/10

I never read the book and after hearing all the hype and seeing the overall bleak appearance of the trailer, I was not interested in this movie. Boy, was I wrong. This is a thrilling detective story about a disgraced investigative reporter trying to solve a family mystery for a wealthy eccentric and his bizarre extended family. There are some squeamish parts involving "The Girl" before she enters the investigation that could have been left out in my opinion, but I'm sure others would say those events helped define the character. There were a number of well-developed red herrings to keep you guessing and actually two mysteries solved by the end, neither of which were easy to figure out. I actually watched it twice over 3 days to pick up on more details and I find it worthy of repeated viewings. 8/10

What happens when you take a classic whodunit murder plot, tell the viewer right away whodunit, and have the lead detective know who the killer is the whole time? You get a crappy movie. And unlike what the title suggests, there was hardly any math involved. It's not a bad story, just horribly executed for the film. Two high schoolers plot to get away with murder after one of them studies criminology and CSI textbooks. But because everything was known from the beginning, a huge part of the film is scenes questioning the boys, either at school or at the police station, and there's no build-up to catching them. And Sandra Bullock's character is absurd. She's a hard-ass, she's a slut, she's vulnerable, she's a victim, she's got it figured out, she doesn't know anything. Not worth it. Though Nick Offerman of "Parks and Rec" plays an unnamed police officer for about 6 seconds of film time. 2/10

The best Bond film that isn't a Bond film. If they gave James Bond amnesia and let him kick all sorts of a** on anyone coming after him, you'd get this edge-of-your-seat thriller. Matt Damon is excellent as the assassin turned memory-lapsed protagonist who is trying to piece together who he is while trying to avoid multiple factions who are working to take him out before he solves the puzzle. There's spy intrigue, politics, lots of action and a fair amount of violence, a dark governmental department overseer, more assassins and a romantic entanglement, all in just under 2 hours. Highly recommended if you're into action/adventure, as good now as it was when it came out 12 years ago. 9/10

Mix the six English boobs of Monty Python with the story of Christ and this is what you get. Stonings, blasphemy, Roman leaders with speech impediments, it's all here with absolute historical accuracy. It's goofy, it's absurd, it's hilarious at times and gets better each time you watch it. When I first saw this years ago I thought it was a let-down compared to "The Holy Grail" and "The Meaning of Life" (also by the Python gang), mostly because my college roommate used to get drunk and recite lines from it before I had ever watched it, so when the funny parts came, I already knew them. But with each viewing since I've enjoyed it more even though I still know when they're coming. After you've carved out your heart with a pitchfork this Easter season by watching "The Passion of the Christ", watch this for a little levity and reclamation of your soul. Laughter is the best medicine after all. 7.5/10

From the initial concept I thought this would be awesome, but it wasn't the blockbuster it could have been. I mean, it's got James Bond, Indiana Jones, the hot TRON girl, the old west, aliens, AND it's directed by the director of the first 2 Iron Man films - what could go wrong? Well, I wouldn't say anything in particular went wrong, but it never had the oomph one might expect from all of those ingredients put together. It was good, I enjoyed it for what it was, but something was needed to push it into the upper echelon of fun actioners where it should have been. Perhaps a shot in the arm of Joss Whedon on the action sequences. 7/10

I really didn't have much interest in this movie until I saw that the screenplay was written by Aaron Sorkin and I have so far loved all things Sorkin (though I have so far been unconvinced by West Wing-ites to check that series out). Sorkin's work always centers on rapid-fire dialog and smartassery and this film has no shortage of either. From his media appearances I don't believe for a second that the real Mark Zuckerberg was as calm, "cool" and ruthless as portrayed by Jesse Eisenberg, but a nerdy portrayal wouldn't have worked in the film. On a scale of rewatchability, I can't say I'd go higher than 6/10, but for the superb acting and scripting, I must rate it higher. 8/10

An exceptional telling of a story about a socially inept (possibly Asperger's suffering) boy searching for answers after his family is struck by a terrible tragedy, and the people he meets along the way. The bulk of the story centers on dealing with loss and the regret of choices made, while the important lesson is what was found. The young actor is incredible, but with parents Tom Hanks and Sandra Bullock, what else could he possibly be? I have interested in viewing this since I first saw the trailer a couple years back. This is the kind of film I expect to win Best Picture, which it was nominated for but did not win. I highly recommend this movie, might need some tissues. 9/10

Best motion picture, best actor, best supporting actress, best director and best adapted screenplay winner at the Oscars. That tell you enough? I enjoyed this film, but like my opinion of "Unforgiven", this western also didn't feel like a "best picture" to me. Interesting of note is that Jeff Bridges won best actor for the remake of a 1969 John Wayne film that he (Wayne) also won the best actor award. So apparently if you want to win best actor, audition for the next remake of "True Grit". In 30 years. The acting was exceptional, save for Matt Damon who is still good, I just didn't buy into his characterization. The panoramas of the old west are beautiful (and all locations are actually in the USA), the score is majestic and of course the story is captivating. 8/10

What do you get when you combine Quentin Tarantino, a mild-mannered, well-educated bounty hunter and a freed slave looking to reunite with his wife who still happens to be a slave? One of the best and bloodiest westerns ever made. The story is that Tarantino wanted to make a modern spaghetti western and while the music definitely fits this genre, the rest is blockbuster material that the old westerns couldn't touch. The characters have depth, the acting is top-notch and the story is compelling and adventurous, with a healthy dash of humor, some intriguing mind games and a wagon-full of action. It's actually a little funny that it's titled after Django, as his partner (played amazingly by Christopher Waltz) steals most of the scenes and without him the story wouldn't even exist. I'm not really a Tarantino buff, so I can't say how this compares to his other films, but I will say he likes blood - every gunshot caused a fountain to go off. This film got a lot of press for the generous use of the N-word so if that bothers you, steer clear (it's probably uttered evenly between whites and blacks throughout the film). I thoroughly enjoyed this movie and will watch it often. 9/10

A different take on the "modern stone age family". A stay-in-the-safety-of-the-cave family, the last of the cavemen, are forced to abandon familiar surroundings when the end of their world begins (Pangea breaking into continents). I feel this is one of the films that put the majority of the good parts in the trailer. It's not very original, the voice cast is a bit meh, the pacing is so-so, and though it has it's moments, it's really not that fun, or at least not the fun I've come to expect from DreamWorks series of animated family films. One of the good parts are the animals they encounter, often prehistoric hybrids of modern times creatures like the Piranhakeets and Mousephants. Fine Saturday afternoon kiddie fare, but falls short of expectations. 4/10

In this romantic comedy, two people who really don't like each other become joint guardians of their best friends' infant daughter when catastrophe strikes. Katherine Heigl does a good job being Katherine Heigl with her usual blend of vulnerable and cattiness, and Josh Duhamel just plays "a guy", a mostly self-centered skirt-chaser, so he probably didn't really have to work too hard, but it was heart-warming to watch his character evolve as he spent more time with the kid. There aren't any big surprises and the ending is exactly what you'd expect (unless you've never seen a romantic comedy before), but overall I found this enjoyable, a fun escape if you're looking for a little light fare. 7/10

It happens everyday: two amazingly good-looking people with mental instabilities come together and solve each other's issues in a way only true love and dance can. Okay, no, but that's what happens here and it is completely enjoyable. Actually the nutjobs are the most normal people in the movie. Jennifer Lawrence deservedly won the Oscar, and Bradley Cooper did a phenomenal job too. I fortunately don't deal with mental illness (regardless of what my friends think), but the writers made it easily understandable within the context of the story, and of course the acting immersed you into the struggles. Anything that might come across as a crazy reaction or situation in any other movie makes sense here, and not in a dismissive way like "anything can happen because they're crazy". It's a family drama with heart, some laughs thrown in and a touch of romance, all in a believable setting (especially if you believe pretty people can be as messed up as anyone else). 8/10

The short story: I liked this film. The longer story is I'm not sure exactly what you'd call this movie. Honestly I had never heard of it before finding it in the $5 bin, but I like Rashida Jones and Andy Samberg (the leads) and the premise seemed interesting, essentially a separated married couple who are still best friends and do everything together, it just didn't work out to be married. There are funny parts, but not enough to label it a comedy or rom-com, and certainly drama, but not enough to be considered dramatic. It's not even really a love story. And it's no action-packed special-effects-laden blockbuster. I guess what it is is a decent, down-to-earth story (from Hollywood - I KNOW) about real-type characters in realistic situations that viewers can relate to with a decent cast, even pacing and with a sensible ending. Definitely worth a look. 7/10

For as much as I can admit this is a relatively formulaic romantic comedy that kinda tells you most of the story in the title, I must say I enjoyed this one quite a bit more than the average rom-com, and not just because of Alice Eve's lingerie scene (though, WHOA...). Proclaimed on the cover as "The funniest comedy since 'The Hangover' " (again?), I found it significantly funnier and not worthy of the comparison. Besides the main story, there's a hilarious sub-plot about they guy's ex-girlfriend basically being adopted by his family and he has to endure not just her presence at every gathering, but her new boyfriend's as well. Plus there's that underwear scene. Lots of humor in the uncomfortable parts (and Jay Baruchel is uncomfortable pretty much all the time), the couple is believable for being worlds apart on the attractiveness scale, and the ancillary characters are enjoyable. There's a bit of raunchiness, but it is an R-rated comedy. And did I mention Alice Eve in her skivvies? 7/10

A buddy cop comedy disguised as a remake of a classic television series. This is one of the reboots/remakes that doesn't try to recreate the original. Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill are not playing classic characters in a more modern setting. However, this film does act as if it's a continuation of the series as not only does it refer to "Jump Street" as a long-running police operation, but there is a hilarious UNCREDITED cameo at the end with series originals who refer to being ex-Jump Street officers. The fact that the original series was dramatic and this is far from it doesn't seem to matter. Nothing really new or creative in story, all the usual buddy film happenings and teen movie shenanigans are here as well as the "odd couple"-esque partnership. Some of the best parts are where they poke fun at themselves, like Nick Offerman's character using the Jump Street program as a metaphor for Hollywood: "You see the guys in charge of this stuff lack creativity and are completely out of ideas. So all they do now is recycle s*** from the past and expect us all not to notice." Worth a look for a laugh or two. 6.5/10

A comedic war movie about the making of a blockbuster war movie. Ben Stiller once again plays a buffoon (not quite Zoolander, but one with absolutely no clue how low he's sunk), Jack Black is a fat drug addict (so is he actually acting?) and Robert Downey Jr. turns in a great and funny role as a method actor who gets REALLY into his roles, playing an Australian who's playing a BLACK army sergeant (and he never turns it off, even when talking to another black actor!). A great cameo by Matthew McConnaughy as a low-level agent and a hilarious and surprising part by Tom Cruise as a balding, overweight, foul-mouthed Hollywood producer. It has it's funny parts (though one of the funniest Jack Black lines from the trailer was unfunnied for the film) and the usual weird, semi-uncomfortable Stiller comedy standards, and the story was quite entertaining. Worth a viewing for Cruise's character alone, overall worth multiple viewings. 7/10

First off, let me admit I enjoyed the first Ghost Rider movie. A guy with a flaming skull dealing out justice? Nick Cage being....Nick Cage? It was a little campy, but it's a comic book movie about flaming skull demon biker guy. Anywho, they changed directors and the franchise went downhill (or bottomed out, depending what you thought of the first). A lot of reviewers claim a bad story, but having read thousands of comic books, it plays out to me like a 3-4 issue pretty normal Ghost Rider story arc. The pacing is a bit jerky, but the story is as coherent as this kind of tale can be. The acting however is remarkably terrible. Cage is a different level of manic that doesn't stay true to the Johnny Blaze character, either the one from the comics or from the previous film. The actor playing Satan wore this ridiculous grimace throughout. And then there was the actual filming: take a mix of art-house creativity, mix in a bajillion Red Bulls and some premium catnip and you still won't approach the mental mess that they called a finished product. This is far from the worst film I've seen, and I like some of the action scenes with the Rider, but overall I cannot recommend this film to anyone in particular. 3/10

I found it interesting, gripping, suspenseful to a point, yet slow and boring through a good part of it (a better score would've helped), and overall the film had a heavy depressing feel which makes sense, considering the subject matter. The trailer made it look much more of a thriller than it ended up being, which was probably my biggest disappointment. The acting was superb which is most likely what earned it many awards, as the actors made a lot out of a simple "a young woman trying to track down her bond-jumping father to save the family homestead" story. There was a significant subplot about southern family ties that I personally couldn't grasp, but it was believable within the context of the film. It does not follow any standard structure, leading to a rousing climax and a satisfying payoff, but that fits the story quite well, though we are definitely left wanting more, like losing a book with 10 pages left to read. 7/10

The definition of a summer blockbuster: Non-stop thrill ride? Check. Over-the-top ridiculous stunts? Oh yeah. Big time action with a plethora of explosions and gunfire? Be still my boyish heart. Absolutely stoopid in the bestest of ways. This is what a reboot/remake should be: the characters we know and grew up with doing what they're known for on a bigger and better scale. I was a big fan of the original series (I was 11), even painted a Hot Wheels van black with the red stripe. But after remakes of "Dukes of Hazzard", "Lost in Space" and "Wild Wild West" (among many others) missed so miserably (read: similar in title only), I was quite skeptical of this one, but I was exceptionally surprised. All the old caveats of the series are here: B.A. crafting awesome stuff from spare parts, Hannibal's cigars and "I love it when a plan comes together" catchphrase, Faceman getting all the girls, and Murdock living up to his "Howling Mad" nickname. The original theme song is updated (and brings back fond memories) and the movie ends with the voiced-over narrative from the classic show's beginning. Even the original Faceman (Dirk Benedict - also the original MALE Starbuck!) showed up during the credits (apparently Mr. T was busy)! And there are many hysterical parts mixed into all that action. If you're looking for realism or Oscar-caliber...anything, you're barking up the wrong tree (wrong forest, actually). 8/10