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mr-bedford
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Reviews
Immaculate (2024)
Nothing Immaculate about this film
I've seen and read a lot of reviews about this film from critics I respect, but on this occasion they got it totally wrong, this film was one of the most boring things I have seen in years, there is no plot, there is no action. The acting is something you would see in an advert. All these reviews saying how bloody how much horror, they must of watched a different film to me.
The opening shot gets you interested, in the same way a old 80s horror does where something happens in the first five minutes then nothing for an hour, that sums this film up.
I like a bit of gore, but this comes across as deliberate rather than required, a show like ash vs evil dead you expect that sort of blood and gore and whilst watching it with my girlfriend we just looked at each other and thought of AvED.
Everyone keeps praising that woman out of madam web (which is actually a better film) she can't act, no one in this film can act it was a drag, it was only 1hr 30 film and the last 10 minutes were credits.
I don't know why this film has such a high rating, it was a slow boring mess, no interesting characters, plot which disappeared 5 minutes in, and the ending was stupid, we knew what was going to happen and they just dragged it out, the actual credits for 10 minutes were more interesting than the actual ending.
Some people like films, but they don't know films, this was awful, go watch madam web, its a bad film but you can take something away from it.
Madame Web (2024)
It makes you wonder.
If anyone has every watched Band of Brothers, in the second episode there is a scene where they are heading towards Normandy and the two pilots of the plane once they get close enough start seeing the sky light up and then the explosions and incoming started. They stared at each other in complete silence with a look of dread on their face wondering how the night will play out.
That was the exactly the same thing when I watched this my my girlfriend, after five minutes we just looked at each other in silence, dread and I poured a very stiff drink.
We watch a lot of 'bad' films but on purpose cos that's our thing, 70s/80s/90s trash.
We were ill prepared for this outing. Everything was just an utter mess, from the writing, to the dialogue to the delivery of those woeful lines. There were so many clear times when they messed their lines and the timing, seeing camera reflections in glasses. That's the sort of thing I expect in the soaps (I'm from the UK, soap operas to my American friends)
The camera work was all over the place, had some nice cinematography at times and some of the sound design was not bad. But that mixed in with a bunch of people with the personality of a book of stamps.
This is a morbid curiosity film. Watch it if you have a spare couple of hours and a stiff drink.
2/10 nothing redeeming about this.
Robyn Hood (2023)
This cannot be a serious attempt at TV story telling.
This cannot be a serious attempt at TV story telling...
This really is one of the worst things I have ever had the displeasure to sit through. Sometimes you give a show some time to grow, make a stamp and move forward. This show through everything you know about Robin Hood an the lore and fantasy surrounding it.
I am British so the folklore holds deep to me as well as many people on this island.
The characters and acting are just so bad, it is laughable, I originally thought this was a British production then realisation set in and the only thing left to do was to watch the reviews online, which were far better efforts than this.
The Wedding Veil Expectations (2023)
Oh dear
One of the funniest films I've seen in years. There is no real plot at all, the editing is terrible it's almost like a sketch show with inane dialogue about nothing. Acting is terrible and the cast should be on day time soap operas from the 90s (as backup) it's not a very long film so if you are really bored give it a go, with a couple of beers.
It contain predictable and unfunny setups which go no where. The whole plot is given away in the first ten minutes, like the roof of the new house which is clearly a very well maintained mansion, and you get a roof shot with a couple of bits of plastic which look like they use it to cover the cameras if it rains.
Halloween Ends (2022)
Beyond dissapointing
When I originally watched 2018 I wasn't impressed. Not until I watched kills I appreciated 2018 more. People don't like kills and that's fine, personally it's my favourite. But this film just leaves you empty inside, it was just nothing. I don't think i'll ever be able to express how dissapointed i've been in a film. I was going to the cinema to watch it, I even bought tickets then the reviews started coming in and I watched it on streaming, turned it off after an hour and was literally forced to put it back on.
Two great films has one of the worst endings i've ever seen in my life, i'm at a loss for words.
Swim (2021)
One of the worst things I've ever seen
I'm disappointed because the writer did the Sharknado films, people love or hate those, I love them. This film is one of the most poorly acted films I've ever seen and I love films like this. The ADR is really some of the worst I've ever heard in my life everything is out of sync or cuts out so it sounds like the boom op is 10 miles away.
I can't think of anything to recommend this film, and thats unusual.
Pennywise: The Story of It (2021)
A must see...
If you are a fan of the original TV series IT, then you must watch this fascinating 2 hour insight, I'm not going to say anymore, just watch it. It contains a lot of information you may or might not know and it's great to see how the cast have aged over the years, or in some cases it barely seems like they have.
Halloween Kills (2021)
My favourite halloween film
You should watch Halloween 2018 to get why some of the kills are done in this one. People really seem to be hating on this. The plot and acting is a borderline mess, but if you want to literally see everyone get killed in a brutal, bloody (almost evil dead) kind of way then is the film for you. It is as simple as that, want a decent story then no, want to see people get massacred then yes you WILL enjoy this film.
Charlie's Angels (2019)
2 Because I watched it all.
Where do you start with these movies being spat out by Hollywood? It was beyond bad, the acting was terrible. I also hated how they all walked around and stood about with attitudes. Everyone has a gun yet no one gets shot (think the A-Team, actually go watch that instead)
If you like self punishment then watch this, I'm doing it as punishment for something terrible I may do in the future.
2 hours is far too long for this drivel, skip to the credits and save yourself the misery.
The Haunting of Hill House (2018)
Just not getting it.
I wasn't really excited for this series after watching the trailer and being a big fan of the original film. Me and my girlfriend watched two episodes and just turned it off. Each episode leads up to a very cheap last 30 seconds reveal to make you watch the same thing. It was like watching stranger things as it builds up but the big difference being that was actually interesting leading up to the cliff hanger.
It had odd cinematography, it was nice seeing the house in colour but it seemed very bland and empty compared to the original set of the film.
We might go back to it if really struggling to find something to watch, but the only scary thing I've seen about this series is its 9.1 rating. I must of watched a different show.
The only upside to it was the bits set in the past were far more interesting than the present day efforts which just reminded of a moody teen drama where they dress in black and feel sorry for themselves.