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Reviews
Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)
Derivative, lacking any originality, and ultimately...utterly boring.
I remember Fantastic Four, or rather the cinema emptying over time as the boring mess plodded towards a boring end. Rebel Moon isn't far behind it. Sofia Boutella is the best part of the movie, and carries the role well. Unfortunately, the movie wasn't written to plumb the depths of her character. The plot instead seems intent on re-visiting every bad CGI moment from Corridor Digital's VFX Artists React series, Conan The Barbarian, Harry Potter, Star Wars, Star Wars, Star Wars, sorry, went on repeat there. Everyone and their dog can tell this was a horrible Star Wars script in the past. There are a lot of Nazis too. Star Wars.
Snyder seems to have this avid following, and I'm just mystified by it. His body of recent work hasn't performed, and the obvious fortune Netflix spent on this mess is not justified. Skip it.
Dredd (2012)
Dredd and the return of the action movie
The past 15 or so years have spoiled us all with incredible action classics like John Wick, superhero blockbusters like Iron Man, and the list goes on and on. It's hard to remember that sometime in the 1990s, through the 2000s, good action movies were scarce. A dying breed. B side movies punctuated by a few unexpected gems. Though let's face it - even the gems were sometimes ruined by overenthusiastic "10 cuts a second using a shaky cam making fights impossible to follow" addicts. I'm looking at you, Bourne.
Dredd was released after Iron Man, and several years before John Wick, and it has all the early hallmarks of the action movie's rebirth. Fantastic pacing. Brutal action. Superb sets and special effects. Dredd doesn't lend itself to emotional investment like John Wick's dog famously has, and the action is solid without a martial arts flare, but it's an understated classic of the genre.
Urban pulls off a perfect hardcore Dredd, but doesn't shy away from conveying a hint of dry humor and empathy. He's a merciless but fair judge, jury and executioner, not a sociopath. We view his evolution more through the experiences of Thirlby's character, the rookie Anderson. Thirlby has to carry 95% of the emotional content of the movie balancing her own empathy against the demands of job that requires violence, and does so effortlessly. If this is sounding like actual character development, yes, it is. In an action movie.
In the end, Dredd is a fantastic movie that in another decade would have spawned sequel after sequel. Unfortunately, it hit a few problems - it's not quite as good as other action movies that did spawn sequels, the Cinematic Universe chase for profits shifted investments, and ultimately the movie was poorly marketed and, something we've become used to, critic scored it much lower than audiences at a time we still blindly relied on critics.
Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022)
Almost great, but bogged down by MCU setups and, I assume, Covid 19
This obviously has a great movie at its heart, but the MCU recently has been very hit and miss. The movies aren't focused on a message or direction, and Disney+ is encouraging an orgy of hints, nods, and character setups. The MCU world seems to become ever more unreal and disconnected from reality as the plots grow and diverge.
Wakanda Forever is bloated by all of the above. Ironheart is a needless diversion to avoid an origin movie, and setup a Disney+ show. Off tone, badly timed, and adds nothing to the movie. There are diversions to create more suited characters, again unnecessary. Another CIA scary person is set up for another movie probably. All pointless detours, eating up the minutes.
This is really disappointing because the movie is good in spite of this. It could have been great if Marvel focused on making just this one movie.
Black Adam (2022)
DC dug deep and pulled out a Dwayne Johnson vehicle that is fun, thought provoking, and packs a punch. Closing CGI notwithstanding. More please!
To be absolutely clear, this movie showcases everything that is wrong with the DCEU right now, but it also shows attempts to start mending things. Dwayne Johnson is superb in the role, but the "superhero movie formula" that requires a closing villain fight creates a perfectly unnecessary CGI mess at the end. Luckily, you can throw that away because everything to up then, and the final closing minutes, more than make up for it. Judging from how the budget was spent, I think even the studio realized it too.
The Black Adam is this movie is all too real. A man out of time, from an ancient civilization. Violence is not a question - he comes from a time when violence was the only expression of power that mattered. Killing an enemy is just typical. So, there is no hesitation is turning an army of enemies into swiss cheese and no hero or wizard will tell him otherwise. Death is a tool, not a joy. It works.
Enter the JSA and ensuing hero battles. The action throughout is punchy, effective and well choreographed. It's really hard to know who should be cheered on but it's clear that in a nation forgotten by "American" heroes, Black Adam is as good as any.
The cast do their best to counterbalance Dwayne Johnson as Black Adam, but only Aldis Hodge's Hawkman really succeeds on both the physical and emotional level. If ever there was a hero vying for a future movie, Hawkman just made the top of the list.
Johnson is simply perfect as Black Adam, and he has a satisfying character arc. No scene exists where Johnson isn't the most intimidating thing on it. In smaller ways, the movie makes a stab at showcasing a cohesive realistic DC Universe. Hero posters, allusions to some superheroes making a tidy sum on the side, Amanda Waller clearly having good relations with heroes (not simply putting suicide devices in them, and leaving islands to be butchered by aliens), and other hints of a slightly brighter hopeful real universe are welcome. Yes, we can make jokes. Yes, they can even feel natural and be funny. Imagine.
But, and there is always a but, the CGI... The movie largely succeeds in keeping it exactly where it belongs - out of the way of your sense of reality. Right up to the end boss villain when it fails...utterly fails. It fails so thoroughly that the final battle will definitely, unquestionably, be a lesson in how not to use CGI. The poor quality shapes everything. We move to darkness, shadow and smoke so the CGI team can hide lighting and detail flaws in a fully CGI character. Fire FX is absolutely abysmal. There is no punch to the action. This is well below the threshold you expect from a modern movie. The Corridor Crew's VFX Artists React team on Youtube will have one awesome episode tearing this travesty apart. Of that, I have no doubt.
So why still an 8? The end battle is NOT the culmination of the movie. It's just one exclamation mark on Black Adam's transition from villain to anti-hero, and it furthers the JSA story. I can only imagine Dwayne Johnson in the producers room stating it very simply. This movie is about Black Adam and also giving the JSA a good send off into the sunset for whatever movie awaits them. If I have to fight a final CGI boss to get to another classic anti-hero moment before the credits roll, so be it, but you are NOT blowing the budget on it.
They did not blow the budget on it! You could cut a lot of this closing boss fight from the movie, and leave a "one punch and he's out" conclusion, and the movie would probably be the better for it.
Ignoring this, Black Adam is a gem of a DC movie that shows off the potential that the DCEU still has. They really need to keep building on it though and reach further. Black Adam is certainly a reach in the right direction.
Car Masters: Rust to Riches (2018)
Feel good, entertaining, and there are cars!
I've watched lots of car shows, but Car Masters is hands down the most enjoyable to watch. Great camaraderie between the crew. Lots of interesting cars and builds. The occasional hiccup, and some historical firsts. This is easy watching at its absolute best, and you will really want another season quickly. The only downside is its short episode count.
Ms. Marvel (2022)
MCU aims for a younger audience and succeeds.
MCU aims for a younger audience and succeeds, and Kamala Khan finally joins the MCU. Iman Vellani is excellent in the role, and the supporting cast of her family is not far behind. It's fair to say that family is at the core of the series and it gets a lot of time - it's a highlight of the show. Ms. Marvel is not without its flaws. It's a very slow burn origin story, and Kamala's powers only see a payoff very late. It is not an action packed adventure. They save that for The Marvels.
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)
A mulitverse of brilliance and heart
The movie brilliantly melds concepts into an unforgettable sci-fi masterpiece headlined by Michelle Yeoh. You will never forget this movie. You think I jest? Wait until you watch it! It rolls from hilarious, to heart breaking, to inspirational, sometimes mixing all of them together - fulfilling the prophecy of its title. Michelle Yeoh gives an incredible performance, anchoring every single scene, no matter how ridiculous, with a sense of reality.
This is a movie that aimed at a million targets, and hit every single one of them. Sci-fi creators across all media will be inspired by this movie for decades to come.
Will it win an Oscar? It damn well should.
In from the Cold (2022)
Entertaining watch, decent action, though weighed by middling production values.
Bingeable entertaining show that moves along nicely. It's clearly a low budget effort located in Spain, but they stretched their production dollars really well. Covid may have contributed too. It suffers a bit from the lack of reveals over the first few episodes, but does pick up pace. Margarita Levieva as Jenny/Anya anchors the characters really well, buoying their otherwise unremarkable performances. I doubt Netflix will have a problem with renewing.
The Watch (2020)
Sadly forgettable, but do pick up the novels
This falls squarely into that odd category of TV show where everything must be colorful, edgy, semi-modern, unicorn vomit, that fills a time slot for a younger demographic, and might just entertain enough people that episode two has >1 viewers for the ads.
Reading the book is an absolute joy. Watching this TV show is vaguely entertaining if you understand the premise, but otherwise not entertaining at all. A hard pass, and may it never see renewal.
Helstrom (2020)
Family drama which is constantly interrupted by a vague plot involving demons
Despite the description, Helstrom lacks any form of horror, atmosphere, scares or tension. You'd get more out of one episode of Supernatural, and that has 15 seasons of episodes to choose from. The plot is too often driven by lazy writing and having the characters make obviously stupid decisions. There's precious little in the action department.
It's entertaining enough viewed as a family get together and reconciliation. With demons providing the occasional distraction. The Helstrom world building adds some intrigue, but it's poorly fleshed out. Sydney Lemmon as Ana stands out amid the average acting. Seriously, put her in a psycho hunting show and I'll watch that.
Enough to carry one season, yes. Two seasons? Not unless Hulu are tied to it by a blood oath with ABC Studios and Marvel Television... I feel like the show just didn't connect with its original goal of opening up some scary chilling region of the Marvel universe. The writing did not go in that direction at all.
Enslaved (2020)
A memorable series that will stay with you long after viewing
At times horrifying, others touching, this series is a long overdue look at the slave trade relying less on dry by-the-numbers statistics, and more on some focused experiences. Whether it's joining the hunt for a sunken slave trade ship, or watching Samuel reconnect with the tribe of his ancestors, the Benga of Gabon's rainforest, the series is an approachable unforgettable look at a topic that deserves a lot more documentaries.
Of course, given the subject, it's no surprise to see a lot of anonymous downrating.
Motherland: Fort Salem (2020)
Solid fantasy series that doesn't overplay its hand
Well above average. Lots of mystery, an interesting premise, good pacing and memorable characters. It's a fascinating concept world that is just really well written. None of the half expected YA angst, drama and half-brained decision making that blows holes in many similar series (such as those Netflix is churning out since quantity clearly beats quantity with their budget). I truly look forward to the second season. I also spotted Amanda Tapping float by on the director list, though sadly Motherland does not involve Stargates. That would have earned it a 9... It will have to settle for a very respectable 8.
Artemis Fowl (2020)
Watchable but seriously flawed
Artemis Fowl is clearly in the lowest tier of Disney productions, and we now know why it was released to Disney+ instead of held for cinema release in 2021. It's just a bad movie that barely acknowledges the source material.
For those in Ireland, the opening is even borderline insulting. Mulch is apprehended by the Irish Police (the Gardai) and is interrogated by...wait for it...British Intelligence? This would never happen in real life since Ireland won its independence from Britain quite a long time ago. This goes beyond mere stupidity to the sort of uncaring plot hole that betrays the level of care that goes into this movie. The Hill of Tara, an actual real physical place in Ireland, does not have a mysterious tree either. Sorry. As for surfing...well, let's all just agree that Disney and Geography separated during the production of Artemis Fowl :). They also separated themselves from the books.
If you can ignore the plot holes, lack of consistency to the books, the coincidences, the thoroughly unconvincing presentation of Artemis' intelligence, and a few poorly executed set pieces, it's still not a complete disaster. It's entertaining enough for the kids...who have not read the books.
Kûtei Doragonzu (2020)
Whaling is necessary and good! Propaganda is also good!
Netflix takes the very dubious step of buying/funding a series which, despite any other positive points, has the obvious flaw of being openly pro-whaling and promoting whale meat as a delicious food. They can call them "dragons" all day, but the propaganda/advertising message is very clear.
Considering the international moratorium on whale hunting, and Japan's intent to ignore this and restart commercial whaling - this is completely and utterly unacceptable from Netflix. We should condemn Japan's actions, not release animes celebrating them however indirectly, and promoting the eating of whale/dragon meat. Shame on you, Netflix, if you have any left.
Absurd Planet (2020)
Do you enjoy cringing every two minutes?
The series take some interesting content and then destroys it with the most cringe worthy narration possible. It's a PG rated show with a lot of very adult oriented jokes. Bird neck bags are scrotum bags, for example. Try NOT reaching for the stop button.
It's greatest sin is saying these creatures are worthy of existing, but overshadowing their uniqueness with enough bad jokes, one liners, and silly sing-along tunes that the ratio of fact to fifth rate sewer humor is near zero.
Seriously, just put Blue Planet or some other serious nature show on. I'm sure someone has done an entertaining nature show with jokes somewhere, but this is not it.