Reviews

The Simpsons: "And Maggie Makes Three" (6.13) (1995)

It's obvious that the best episodes of "The Simpsons" are the ones with an equal blend of comedy and heart -- the episodes that are driven by characters instead of over-the-top, wacky and generally thin plots. This is why the earlier seasons of the show are far superior to the current seasons, because they seem to have removed that "character" element. This episode is one of the finest episodes when it comes to character development and jokes, because it tells the heart-warming story of Maggie's inclusion to the family whilst being one of the funniest episodes of the show ever.

The plot is quite simple but extremely effective -- Marge calls for an hour family time which leads to the Simpsons kids questioning why there is a complete lack of photographs of Maggie in the photo album. Homer goes on to explain why, which is all linked together with the story of Maggie's birth.

The jokes are spot-on, from the opening Knight Boat gag to what happens to the bowling pins when they're knocked down. It's crammed full of so many good jokes, it makes you miss how great the Simpsons used to be in the prime seasons (in my opinion, 3-9). The greatest moment of the episode comes at the end, I feel -- and it's not a joke, it's a simple, heartfelt moment that really pushes the episode into five-star territory. All I'm going to say is, "Do it for her."

RATING: A flawless, perfectly-balanced episode. Funny, heartfelt and classic Simpsons all at once. You really can't get television better than this. (5/5)

I call myself a movie buff, but I'd never seen Jaws up until a few months ago. I'd always put myself off of seeing it and I'm not sure why, I just never found the right time to start watching it. Eventually, I thought I had to see it and I purchased the 30th Anniversary Edition DVD.

I was literally "blown out of the water." Why had I waited so long to see this film? Everything about it is perfect - characters, dialogue, special effects, action, setting, everything! I hate myself for waiting to see Jaws, as I've seen thousands of movies and never considered that this could become my all-time favourite.

Everybody knows the plot, so I won't get into it, but the entire story is told magically, thanks to Steven Spielberg and his crew. I am a traditionalist when it comes to film (classic stories, characters and endings) and Jaws delivers everything I could ever want from a film. The pacing is perfect and I cannot fault it at all.

The music by John Williams is now legendary, but it really is much more than the classic "Jaws" theme that people recognise today. The entire soundtrack is both thrilling and wonderful, especially towards the end as the final battle ensues. Williams establishes himself as the best composer of all time with his score, here.

The acting is perfect. For the film that reeks "Summer Blockbuster", you probably wouldn't expect the acting to be anything special, but everybody gives memorable performances (especially Richard Dreyfuss and Robert Shaw) - and anyway, we shouldn't forget that this is the "original" summer blockbuster.

Overall, I cannot say anything bad about Jaws. It is a remarkable film with some of the greatest characters ever committed to film. The story is inventive and glorious, and keeps you on the edge of the seat throughout. I know what kind of film Jaws wanted to be, but it turned out to be so much more - Steven Spielberg really is the world's greatest director. His ability to turn (what could of been) quite a mundane story into an epic tale of good versus evil is simply amazing. Oh, and I can't forget the magnificent ending - seriously, it's the best ending ever committed to cinema.

Jaws could be my all-time favourite movie, and even if it isn't, it's pretty darn close. See it - you won't be let down.

(5/5)

Although I'm a fan of South Park and the writing talents of Trey Parker and Matt Stone, it still took me just under a year to see this film after it was released. I saw it today, and I was not disappointed. In fact, it's probably one of the funniest films I've ever seen.

The plot revolves around an anti-terrorist squad named "Team America". These "world-police" are sent all over the globe to stop terrorists from getting up to any nasty stuff. The film opens with the Team in France, taking care of some third-world baddies. After a nice demonstration of mass firepower, they exit, the day saved. Later, they find out that all the terrorists are planning to form together to end the world once and for all, and only by getting a certain actor named Gary to join them, will Team America be able to save the day! Of course, this sets up the premises for some serious, serious fun!

Firstly, I'd like to say how amazed I am that they crafted such an imaginative and excellent film from puppets. Thunderbirds never interested me; I would always switch channels when it came on TV. It used to bore me, mainly because it was, generally, a show with lifeless puppets supported on strings! Team America pulls them off flawlessly, and never did I think, "Oh, why?". I actually believe the puppets are the key to the comedy (of course they are)! The writing is top notch. Trey and Matt still haven't lost it. It's funny, smart and very well thought-out, something that's rather strange to see in this sort of film nowadays. Harry-Gregson Williams (most famous for his Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty score) composes a basic, yet enjoyable score that fits this film perfectly! The songs, written by Trey Parker, are hilarious! "Everybody has AIDs" and "Montage" are two of my favourites.

Overall, I recommend "Team America: World Police" to anybody who enjoys South Park, or even comedy in general. This foul-mouthed-puppet extravaganza kept me entertained for the entire 90 minutes and is a milestone in film-making, as I heard the shoot was incredibly difficult! (5/5)

And odd film, is Starship Troopers. As I watch it, I always wonder what the real point is. Is it trying to show how pathetic we are? Is it to show that as the human race, we will conquer all? Is it a subtle nod at WWII, showing us as the Nazi party? I seriously don't know; I like to believe this movie is much smarter than it looks and feels, but still to this day, I don't know how to feel about it.

I enjoy it, to say the least. It's one of the most entertaining movies I've ever seen; once I watch it, I could watch it again straight after. Surely that signifies a very enjoyable film, no? However, once it's over, my mind switches to discovery mode. I want to know what the movie is about and what it's truly saying. The media and news reels within the film remind me of the WWI and WWII propaganda, and the whole movie seems too bubbly and "go get 'em" to truly say "this isn't a serious movie, and it doesn't mean anything." Surely the director is trying to say something with Starship Troopers. I find the acting to be rather terrible, but I still can't help but feel it was all done on purpose! The SFX and music are top-notch; the best special effects I've seen for 1997! The script is full of cheesy one-liners, and in a way, is pretty bad; but this again, seems so right. Maybe the director has directed a bad film, and everybody is looking into it a bit much, but I doubt it. I know a bad film when I see it, and Starship Troopers isn't one.

I suggest you watch it; you'll either love it or hate it. The whole ride is exciting and philosophical, two things that don't often mix well. I really hope there's something deep and clever I'm missing with Starship Troopers, as in the end I don't want to find out that it was just suppose to be a big, funny, comedy bloodbath. I always feel kind of weird once I've seen it; I just wish I knew what it was really about... or do I?

5/5

In the last couple of years, I've been watching as many John Carpenter movies as possible. I fell in love with Escape From New York, and practically worship Big Trouble in Little China. I love the energy that Carpenter directs his movies with, I always feel they're special and unlike anything else out there. It's no different with The Thing. My question is, how does Carpenter do it? The Thing is a horror masterpiece. The movie is based on a book called "Who Goes There?", which is rather fitting considering the plot. In 1980's Antartica, a research team accidentally stumble upon an alien that can change it's appearance to look like anyone through cell-transformation. As it begins to wreak havoc and mayhem upon the research facility, it becomes clear that nobody can trust anybody else. Paranoia sets in, and a perfect horror mood forms. It's all very clever.

Leading the campaign is MacReady, a brave and cool helicopter pilot played perfectly by the awesome Kurt Russell. Again, Russell and Carpenter craft and amazing character together, just like their previous legend; Snake Plissken. MacReady rounds the men together and attempts to destroy "The Thing", but things do not go as planned.

For a film made in 1982, the special effects are top-notch. They look realistic, which makes a change (the 80's was a big special effects testing zone, which wasn't necessarily a good thing). It's gory and violent too, and never did I find myself thinking, "Oh God, why?" Ennio Morricone composed the music, influenced by Carpenter's classic synthesised tunes. I was impressed by the main theme, a sort of basic tense number; it succeeded in keeping me at the edge of my seat. This score however, was totally different from anything I'd heard Ennio do before, which made a refreshing change.

Overall, The Thing is one of my favourite horror films (and one of my favourite films, to be frank). It kept me interested and tense, whilst thrilling me for the full running time. The acting is superb, as is the direction by one John Carpenter. Ennio Morricone's score was simple but effective, and the special effects just finish off this piece of perfection film-making. In one word, spectacular.(5/5)

Firstly, I'd like to say I really do enjoy a good feel-good film. If they weren't there, the movies wouldn't feel "complete" and you wouldn't be able to just pick up a film that'll cheer you up or make you feel on top of the world. Nearly (and I say nearly) all of Adam Sandler's movies are the feel-good movies I'm talking about. Big Daddy, Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore and of course, The Wedding Singer. When they're over, you feel great. They give you a very subtle amount of hope, and hope is always a good thing.

50 First Dates plays out in the same way as every romantic comedy does. Man meet woman, they have a great time, they have an argument, man does his best to fix problem, they live happily ever after. Sure, it's used all-the-time, but why not? It works and it never feels repeated, because you've always got new characters and a new concept.

The basic plot revolves around one Henry Roth (Sandler). He's the ultimate guy, he's got it all; he lives in Hawaii, he's got a good job, good friends and all the skills to winning any girl he wants. Problem is, he's afraid of commitment. He meets a girl, scores and then makes an excuse to break up with them. Then, one day, he meets Lucy (Barrymore). She's different, and as Henry finds out, very special. They get along from the moment they meet, and Henry seems to have found he girl he can finally settle down with. One problem: she's got short-term memory loss and everyday she forgets she ever meet Henry. So, as love is, Henry has to win her over; every single day.

The performances are great, especially from Adam and Drew. The cast was well selected and they two lead characters shine just like they did in The Wedding Singer. The old Sandler crew are back making great cameo entries and they really did make me laugh, as did the entire movie. The setting is beautiful, it's Hawaii after all! As for the musical selection, awesome! You really feel tropical and involved in the story. Seriously, check this one out, you won't be disappointed.

(4/5)

Don't get me wrong, I do think this is a very good movie. It's well directed, the music is excellent, the acting is great; however, I don't feel as though it's got the same "Harry Potter" feel as the first two, Columbus's two.

For me, the first two Harry Potter movies "felt" perfect, they felt right. To be frank, they felt like Harry Potter! I've read the books a dozen times each, and from what I read, I had my own vision of what Harry's world would be like. Chris captured it amazingly, exactly as I'd imagined it. Alfonso's was OK, but he seems to have changed an awful lot and tried too hard to get the movie into a "new" style, his style. This, I feel, is why I'm opposed to his version to Chris's. However, despite all that, the movie is very good (excellent for the last 30 minutes). The acting is good, and the movie moves at a great pace; you really feel it has been a year at Hogwarts. There are a handful of "cringe-worthy" moments, which really bug me. You'll know them when you see them, trust me.

Anyway, definitely see this movie and form your own opinion. It's not all bad, seriously. I just wish Chris had directed it, I have the strange feeling it would of been better and "fitted" in with the first two.

(4/5)

Twelve Monkeys is the sort of film that not everybody has seen. You may of had the chance to see it sometime, but skipped it due to what you may have heard or read about the plot and such. Unfortunately, you've skipped something special; something very special indeed.

Time travel has been depicted in various ways throughout cinematic history. The classic time travel theories in Back to the Future for instance, of the clever portrayal in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Whenever we see time travel, it's being used to save something, stop something or change something so that the future can be restored and everything will be fine and dandy. Twelve Monkeys shows us a world in which time travel cannot change events, they have already happened (similar to the Harry Potter time travel, yes). Thus, the objective of our man Bruce Willis is not to change the past, but to merely collect information to bring back to the present.

Weeved together in a masterful way that only Gilliam could create, Twelve Monkeys gives us twist after twist, allowing us to progress along the path that the protagonist does at exactly the same rate; figuring out the story as we go. The performances are superb, especially from Bruce Willis and Brad Pitt. They allow us to feel involved as we are plunged into a bleak, dark world which is probably one of the most realistic I've ever seen in cinema.

I won't give any hints at all as to the plot; it's more enjoyable if you watch it without knowing anything at all. What I will say, is that Twelve Monkeys is one of the greatest movies out there. Watch it A.S.A.P, before something really bad happens and it's just too late...

(5/5)

John Landis truly outdid himself when he directed Michael Jackson's THRILLER as a short film. Of course, it's corny, the dialogue is terrible and it all seems way too cheesy, but it's perfect none-the-less.

Michael and his date are out at the cinema to view the latest horror flick. When it all gets a little too graphic for the date, she leaves. Michael follows. On the way home, they decide to take a shortcut through the local graveyard. There, it begins.

The actual thriller dance is amazing. It's full of those trademark Jackson moves, as well as some memorable zombie moves, too. It doesn't appear rushed at all, nor too long. The whole thing seems movie-like and it really is actually rather scary. Of course, it's one of the most famous music videos of all time, and is probably the greatest music video ever made as well.

Overall: Watch it, seriously. Those 13 minutes will be some of the best ever spent staring at a screen. (5/5)

SIN CITY (2005)

Sin City is a bit like Pulp Fiction fused with Kill Bill and tumbled around for a bit in a comic book universe. It's incredibly stylish for one: it's all in black and white and filmed in a way so that it even feels like you're reading Frank Miller's original graphic novels. Of course, the main question is...

...do they match up to the comics? The answer is yes, definitely. In fact, I may even go as far to say that the movie is better (although some may not agree). Frank's work has always had a different edge to it, and the film captivates that edge to it's peak and broadens our view on the hellish (and masterful) Basin City.

Of course, it's not without it's flaws. A few here and there, but nothing to get too worked up about. I will say though; for somebody who hasn't read the novels, it's a little hard to follow first time through. The acting is superb, especially from Bruce Willis and the beautiful Jessica Alba. Their relationship on-screen seems heartfelt and "meant." The other actors don't sink either: everyone who appears in this movie(and there's a lot, I tell you) puts forth a memorable and well-orientated performance.

Overall, Sin City is probably the greatest comic book to screen adaptation of all time. It's fast, cool, slick and holds true to it's purpose. This will forever remain as one of those "cult" classics that people remember for years to come. Exceptional. (10/10)

Star Wars is the God of all movies. It is the greatest film to have ever been made, bar none. Nothing can be compared to it, nor should it be. It is definitive to our world, our society. It changed the way movies were made: for the better.

In the 1970s, there was little unknown director named George Lucas. Little did he know (dispite a nightmarish shoot), that his galactic space opera would literally change the way people lived, worked, played and thought. The secret behind his success? His imagination.

The script, the characters, the events, the locations, the humour, the opening, the ending... all perfect.

Of course, it's not the most well-shot movie of all time, but there's no denying that nobody actually cares. Star Wars has become a cult and a religion, and earned it's place in my heart as the greatest film to have ever been made...

...Millions will agree.

Whatever I say cannot reach the real truth behind Star Wars: just watch it and you'll know exactly what I mean.

The force will be with us, always.

Overall: A definitive masterpiece. Will never be forgotten, and will remain in the hearts of young and old for generations. Perfect. (10/10)

If you think of the EA Lord of the Rings games as members of the Action/Adventure genre you are in reality wrong. Since the dawn of video game history, there has always been a genre known as Hack 'n' slash. The Hack 'n' slash genre is basically meaning that the game does not necessitate much mental input, but instead requires the player to use a certain amount of button bashing. Button bashing games however have always had the tendency for getting dull very easily, with this game however, that doesn't seem to be the case. With 9 characters to play with, all wielding their own unique weapons and special moves, this game doesn't get tedious for a long while. Fun-wise, the Return of the King keeps the action velocity up long enough to constantly keep you interested. Should it be fighting an assemblage of fierce Urik-hai, or spear throwing at some nearby goblins, this game succeeds in the keeping-the-player-interested section. As for the upgraded features from the previous Two Towers game, you can now fully interact with the scenery around you. Characters can now pick up spears and fire catapults, as well as lower drawbridges and cutting roles holding up huge chandeliers (Ah… memories.) As for warfare, it is much swifter. You get the Lord of the Rings fighting style in a much more stimulating and further moving perspective.

For me and of course many others, sound is one of the most important aspects of a game. Without a first-class main theme, or an exhilarating and heroic character melody, a game is, in essence, pointless. Being the licensed movie game, Return of the King was therefore given the rights to use the soundtrack from the movies, composed by Howard Shore. This was a huge excitement for me, as I worship the Lord of the Rings soundtrack, especially the main theme. Should it be the Shire melody, or the terrifying Nazgul tune, the soundtrack from the Lord of the Rings is truly amazing, and of course, fits this game perfectly. My only disappointment however, was that the main theme is only played briefly once, during the after-level screen. I feel that inserting it into some major battles would keep the player's morale up, just as the Legend of Zelda overture would keep a Zelda fan happy if it was played during a conflict or Ganon battle. (Heh, wouldn't it have been nice if the overture was played in a final Ganon battle…?) Sound effects are taking from real weapons, which I learnt whilst watching a bonus movie having completed the game. This adds to the whole experience and only makes the sound better.

Here, EA have really proved what they can do. This game is graphically beautiful and amazing to look at. The character models have been created with amazing detail. Just look at Sam's face and see what I'm talking about. Another thing I thought was pretty cool, which has been improved drastically from the previous game, is the way that the game graphics flow into movie clips from the actual film. Those who have played it will know how awesome this actually looks.

J.R.R Tolkien is the master of fantasy writing, and having read the Lord of the Rings book after I watched the first film, I was gripped by his extreme ability to write. The world of Middle-Earth is indeed an amazing and fantastic place; full of adventure, monsters, beauty and of course heroes. The game focuses on the warfare aspects of the film mostly, but for knowing that there is a much more detailed and epic tale inside of it all, it truly makes the experience worthwhile. Hands down to you Mr. Tolkien.

In conclusion, the Lord of the Rings: Return of the King isn't the best game of all time, nor is it the worst. By far, it is probably one of the best Hack 'n' Slash games yet. With a memorable cast of unique and wonderful characters, a plot to die for, and of course one of the best soundtracks to grace the video game industry, The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King is truly magical.

Final Fantasy VIII was regarded as "flawed" by many Final Fantasy fans upon release. The truth is, they were too busy re-playing Final Fantasy VII to realise exactly what had just be created.

Final Fantasy VIII is not only my favourite game of all time, it's probably the best. To try and explain it right now is very hard, not because of a complex plot or difficult scenario: but because whatever I say will not compare to how much of a masterpiece it really is.

I will however, point out some finer points: The characters are the most in-depth, perfect and different individuals you will ever meet in a video game. They're so developed, they seem real. They interact with each other based on their feelings, and you never for a minute feel like they're video game characters. Best of all, they're likable to a point in which you wish you were part of their gang. I cannot express my "true" thoughts on how much I worship the characters of Final Fantasy VIII: it would be impossible for me to comprehend.

The music is an absolute masterpiece. It's perfect and beautifully crafted. I purchased the soundtrack, and I listen to it on shuffle everyday for a few hours. It always suits the scene or setting, or builds up tension, suspense or just plain excitement. It's awesome.

The plot is not basic. It's complex. It's amazing. It's definitely un-flawed, and people are now starting to realise exactly what's so good about the 8th chapter in the Final Fantasy saga.

If you could have one game to play forever, I strongly recommend this. It's my choice, and I complete it at least 3 times a year to ensure I never forget about it: although that's not very likely.

Overall: The greatest game of all time, without a doubt. A definitive gaming masterpiece for FF fans alike. Pure perfection. (10/10)

STAR WARS - EPISODE III: REVENGE OF THE SITH

As a true Star Wars fan, I saw this movie at midnight on Wednesday the 18th of May (the exact moment it was allowed to be shown here in the UK). I'll tell you: I was excited. I'd seen a lot of stuff and read loads about it, and although I was not impressed by ATTACK OF THE CLONES, I was really excited about the final chapter: everything was to link up and become answered (at last)!

So, there I was: seated in the cinema eating popcorn by the tonne. I waited excitedly for the " A long time ago in galaxy far, far away...." and wham!

STAR WARS moved across the screen and it began. I didn't move or speak the whole way through. I was amazed. STUNNED. It was awesome. But where did this "whole" new type of movie come from? It was clearly something different. It seemed fresh, new, special. I questioned myself: did George Lucas direct this? Compared to the others, it was a star system away. I like PHANTOM MENACE. I hate ATTACK OF THE CLONES. Despite how I felt about both of them, before I saw REVENGE OF THE SITH, I would of preferred the prequels to have never been created...

...After I left the cinema, everything was better. I wanted to literally kiss Mr. Lucas. He done it. He had made an excellent and spectacular film. The beginning was gripping. The ending was supreme. It's been 5 days now (since I saw it), and I honestly can't stop thinking about it. I salute him.

The acting was amazing. The CGI fitted in with the surroundings. The music was beyond good. The story was brilliant. The action was... well, the action was just a miracle in film.

...I honestly could go on for hours at how good it was. All questions were answered: nothing felt rushed: it was a dream come true.

After the previously "poor" prequels, what more could I expect other than another one? I was wrong. This movie makes everything George Lucas ever did wrong "okay" again. As the last STAR WARS film of all: he has truly outdone himself and proved himself as the original and mindful director we all believed he was.

See it now. You will not be disappointed.

Overall: *****

This weekend they didn't play golf.

The great outdoors: A place where men can get together and experience adventure like never before. Fishing, hiking, camping, the list of open-air activities is endless, each of them crafted to suit the individual needs of the audacious man. So, a long weekend rafting up on the Cahulawassee River will be a piece of cake, eh? That's exactly what four friends from the city thought -- until everything went wrong.

"Sometimes you have to lose yourself before you can find anything." – Lewis Medlock

John Boorman's 1972 film Deliverance tells the epic story of a group of men's struggle to survive deep in the heart of the dangerous American back-country. Adapted from the novel by James Dickey (who also wrote the screenplay), Deliverance was a film way ahead of it's time. The beautiful cinematography and sharp script help it to stand out as a true classic. The acting performances are exceptional, especially John Voight's portrayal of family-man Ed and Burt Reynolds' presentation of the adventurous and likable Lewis.

Deliverance is simply one of the best films I've ever seen. It earns it's rank as one of my favourites and I strongly advise any film fanatics to quickly see this forgotten classic! 10/10 -- A DEFINITIVE MASTERPIECE

NATURAL BORN KILLERS, directed by Oliver Stone has probably earned a space in my vault of movies I consider to be totally overrated and incredibly bad. And believe me, there's not that many. I'd heard this was a great film from some friends, and many reviews I'd read said it was "Original", "Fresh" or "Breathtakingly Marvellous". So, being a lover of film, I bought it. I've never been so let down in my life. Many will say, "You're not looking into it!" or, "It's arty and metaphorical." I understand that, but that still doesn't make it good. Oliver Stone has done some amazing stuff, like PLATOON or the script for SCARFACE. However, he has truly let himself down with NATURAL BORN KILLERS. It may seems vibrant and colourful, but truly it's duller than a black & white version of THE SIMPSONS.

But, as people differ, I may be the only one who doesn't like it. I'll let you decide yourselves, don't take my word for it. Rent it out though, just in case you really do hate it. Oh, and guess what? Quentin Tarantino wrote the story and he doesn't like the movie at all. (3/10)

BILL AND TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE, I originally bought it because it was £3.99 during the New Year's Day sales, and, as a DVD collector, I meerly picked it up to add to my ever-expanding collection. Putting off watching it for over a month, I finally found the time to sit down and press play. Strangely (and almost instantly), I was totally hooked on something I imagined I'd never like...

Bill and Ted are two dudes in 1988. Hoping to form their own band one day, they spend endless hours practising in their garage even though they have no idea how to even play the guitar! Also, they're both flunking History and unless they can get an A+ in their next history report, Ted's dad is sending him off to military school! They've got to figure something out, and fast! Along comes Rufus, an "awesome dude" from the future who has been sent to make sure they pass their report with flying colours... using a time machine! So, Bill and Ted set off on one heck of an adventure through time, picking up a variety of characters from the different ages of the universe, including Billy the Kid, Joan of Arc and Beethoven himself! When you begin watching BILL AND TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE you can instantly tell you're in for something different. Sure, the plot's a little crazy and thin, but it's a fun movie aimed at doing one thing: To Entertain.

There's no use in taking this movie too seriously or you won't enjoy it at all. Watch it with an open mind and relax, maybe get a few friends around too. Seriously, it's totally fun and I recommend it to any film fans, whether it's to see something totally different or to see something totally awesome! BILL AND TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE: Fun, original and laughable. (7/10)