InvisibleSwordsman's Reviews

Star Trek: Picard (2020–2023)

10/10

6 April 2020

"Star Trek: Picard" is intelligent, thoughtful, comoelling, thrilling, moving, meaningful, everything that good "Star Trek" should be. It not only rectifies the mistake of ending TNG on the low note of the derivative and hollow "Nemesis", it actually manages to retroactively give that film some resonance.

The writers of this series clearly have great respect for and understanding of these characters, and it comes through in every moment that Picard , Riker, Deanna Troi, Data, Hugh or Seven of Nine is on screen. I can't help but feel those who express disappointment are those who just want "Trek" to be comfortable, not challenging. This series is art and is one of the few things on the air worthy of the hype claiming we're in some sort of golden age of television. Simply excellent on practically every level.

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The Mule (2018)

2/10

There Was No Mule In This Movie

21 January 2019

Look, I'm a sucker for movies about miles or burros or donkeys or whatever, so I was excited for this one and I bought a ticket for the Thursdsy night preview. But I felt I totally ripped off because there was no mule anywhere in this movie, just some old guy smuggling drugs. Clint Eastwood has a lot of nerve lying to his audience like that, and I had some very choice words for an empty chair that I pretended was him.

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Serenity (2005)

10/10

you can't take the sky from me.

27 September 2005

Warning: Spoilers

To start off with, I must admit that I have been a die-hard "browncoat" since day one.. Therefore, if you're looking for a review see "Serenity" from the perspective of a newcomer, this may not be of much help. While the film makes a strong effort to be accessible to non-fans, and we truly believe it will entertain most audiences, it is, first and foremost, a "Firefly" movie, and we are reviewing it as such. And what a grand "Firefly" movie it is - Whedon pulls-out all the stops and takes big risks to make the sort of daring and satisfying cinematic sci-fi spin-off that Rick Berman or Chris Carter only flirted with. Instead of playing it safe, Whedon gives us a film that would be a more than satisfying send-off. And let's face it, it probably will be. "Serenity" begins 8 months after "Firefly" ended . Captain Malcolm "Mal" Reynolds (Nathan Fillion), the commander of the title space craft, still leads his motley crew of petty thieves in a life of crime, one step ahead of the dictatorial Alliance of Planets. Among the crew are Simon Tam (Sean Maher) and his sister River (Summer Glau). River, a former child prodigy, has been the subject of ghastly brain experiments by alliance scientists - and she is hardly getting more normal with time. River is being tracked by a mysterious alliance operative (Chitewel Ejiofor, who would like to think at least one of you will recognize from "Amistad") who will stop at nothing to find her. To say much else about the plot would give away too much - needless to say, the crew of Serenity faces more danger than ever before, from the Alliance, the monstrous, cannibalistic Reavers, and perhaps even from River. The script is chock full of the brilliantly witty banter Whedon is famous for, and each character from the series is given their chance to shine. As always, Alan Tudyk as Wash, Serenity's pilot, can get more genuine laughs with his dry wise cracks than an entire "Saturday Day Night Live" cast can get in a full season. Adam Baldwin as "The Man They Call Jayne" is almost as funny, and continues to make his morally ambiguous and intellectually unburdened character hit spot on. Fans of Morena Baccarin's Inara or Ron Glass as Shepherd Book may be disappointed at heir limited screen time, but both characters are used effectively and have some great moments, adding dramatic weight to the film. Those who are partial to Maher's selfless and geeky Simon or Jewel Staite's Kaylee will have plenty to keep them very satisfied. But the film ultimately belongs to Mal and River, who are truly the central characters of "Firelfy." Fillion and Glau command the screen as well as any major star has this year. Malcolm Reynolds is a classic sci-fi hero - charmingly roguish, and yet tortured by demons and a conscience that tends to show up at the most inopportune times, and Fillion (whom we would like to think at least one of you will recognize from "Saving Private Ryan")could't be better. And Glau, as a physiologically unstable teenager, is not only worthy of supporting actress Oscar consideration, but in the action sequences makes Jennifer Garner, Angelina Jolie, and Tom Cruise's action characters look like girl scouts by comparison. Whedon has given his browncoats something that fans of "Star Trek: The Next Generation" only dreamed of, by making a film that fully captures the spirit of the original material while soaring to new heights in taking full advantage of the cinematic medium. (Even "First Contact," the best "Next Gen" film was too concerned about the next sequel and the spin offs still on TV at the time to truly take it to the edge.). Whedon the director is a true revelation here, making his $40 million-ish budget look like at least twice that, and showing equal talent with action and character development. If you never watched "Firefly," you still have a terrific sci fi adventure in store for you. If you have, you have something that is truly comparable to "The Return of the King" or "Star Wars" at it's climactic best. "Serenity" provides a mix of firm answers and implications to the series dangling plot threads and the burning questions of fans that are completely satisfying. In getting this film made, Whedon has done the impossible, and that makes him mighty.

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The Horse Whisperer (1998)

10/10

Typically brilliant Reford film.

19 August 2005

As with every film directed by Robert Redford, "The Horse Whisperer" is beautifully acted, masterfully directed piece of cinematic poetry. Redford even manages to do what no other actor/director ever has or probably ever will - direct himself in a love story without becoming self-indulgent.

Along with the uniformly excellent cast, Redford's direction and Richard LaGravenese's script, special mention must be made of Robert Richardson's cinematography - some of the most breathtaking Hollywood has ever seen.

Redford is truly one of the giants of American cinema.

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K-19: The Widowmaker (2002)

7/10

Underrated, compelling film.

4 August 2005

"K-19" was widely dismissed at the time of it's release - it's too slow moving to be a summer blockbuster, it was the latest in a stream of submarine pictures, and audiences could not swallow the slumping Harrison Ford as a Russian.

Yet "K-19" is actually a very compelling film. While Liam Neeson gives what is in many way the dominating performance, Ford is good in his role. While his Russian accent is not entirely convincing, that has as much to do with the oddity of seeing Indiana Jones as a Russian sub commander as it does with Ford's abilities with accents (he's not Daniel Day-Lewis, but he's not quite Kevin Costner, either).

There are some extremely harrowing sequences here, and while "K-19" is not a classic, it's a good film.

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xXx: State of the Union (2005)

1/10

One of the worst films of all time.

19 July 2005

Compared to this mind-numbingly awful piece of dreck, the weak first film was a masterpiece. It is genuinely shocking that Hollywood was able to produce a film this utterly inept and mindless. The writing (the screenplay is by Simon Kinberg, who somehow also wrote the excellent "Mr. and Mrs. Smith") and acting are dreadful - not just from non-actors like Ice Cube, but even from Oscar nominees like Willem Dafoe and Samuel L. Jackson. The plot is incomprehensible, and the CGI is so poor that some of the action scenes look like "Tron".

The one redeeming feature is the fact that the film is frequently, unintentionally, laugh-out-loud hilarious. Lines like "I need to speak to this man alive" abound.

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Wild Blade (1991)

1/10

Bad beyond all conceivable levels of badness.

17 July 2005

I saw this at an early '90s Short Film Festival, where it was playing alongside one of my own films. This was, quite frankly, the most painfully awful piece of sludge I have ever had the misfortune of viewing. The acting wouldn't pass muster in a toothpaste commercial (the villain comes across as a bizarre mix between Charles Durning's Doc Hopper from "The Muppet Movie" and Lambert Wilson's Merovingian from "The Matrix Reloaded"), the writing is laughable - and those are the GOOD points.

If you ever have the chance to see this movie - Please, don't stop to think, just run screaming into the night. I still have traumatic flashbacks of this movie.

Okay, maybe it wasn't THAT bad, but it sure wasn't good.

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Die Hard 2 (1990)

7/10

Best completely unnecessary sequel ever.

16 July 2005

There shouldn't't have been a "Die Hard 2". And it certainly shouldn't have worked. They idea that this happened to John McClane twice stretches credibility beyond reasonable limits. And yet, "Die Hard 2" is a wildly entertaining action movie that ALMOST equals the original. While the characters and plot are not as well drawn, the action and atmosphere are as good, and there's a certain "Indiana Jones" element added with the addition of some outdoor action sequences. Director Renny Harlin hit a career high with this one (and has directed a lot of duds since), and deserves a lot of credit for the film working as well as it does. As much as this shouldn't have worked, it's so much fun that the logic doesn't matter - and far more enjoyable than it's successor, "Die Hard With a Vengeance", which tries to do something new but doesn't capture the excitement or suspense of authentic "Die Hard".

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War of the Worlds (2005)

10/10

Another triumph for Spielberg.

13 July 2005

While we have seen countless variations on the alien invasion movie, Steven Spielberg's does here what he previously accomplished in "Saving Private Ryan": putting us on the inside in a way we've never been before. Consequently, there is a palpable sense of realism and fear in "War of the Worlds" that was missing from "Independence Day" and "Signs".

Spielberg, making his most overt popcorn film in nearly a decade (one which nevertheless features some sophisticated subtexts), utilizing all of his tension building skills much in the same way he did in "Jurassic Park". While this is not likely to go down as one of his greatest films, it is a top-notch thriller with strong performances from Tom Crusie and Dakota Fanning, and a welcome addition to the filmography of Hollywood's greatest director.

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Nate and Hayes (1983)

6/10

Entertaining junk-food movie.

13 July 2005

Some comments regarding the film "Nate and Hayes" have made note of it's similarities to "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom", but called it superior to Spielberg's film. I can only assume the people who said that haven't seen "Nate and Hayse" in a LONG time. Sure, "Temple of Doom" is a flawed film, but it's far more slick and eye-popping then this pirate romp, which shares the same flaws regarding story and dialog. When I was a kid, I put "Nate and Hayes" in the same category as the Indy films - After seeing it again as an adult, I can't say that I still do.

"Nate and Hayes" is one of the better and more creative of the early 80s "Raiders" knock-offs, largely due to it's setting, and the charismatic performances of Tommy Lee Jones and Michael O'Keefe. In addition, there are some rousing action sequences. But director Ferdinand Fairfax simply doesn't have the skill or flair of authentic Spielberg. In addition, the film is chock-full of hokey touches which, at times, seriously undermine the proceedings.

In the end, "Nate and Hayes" is a fun little movie.

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Fantastic Four (I) (2005)

6/10

Not fantastic - but not terrible, either.

13 July 2005

The advance buzz on "Fantastic Four" had me wondering whether this was going to be a repeat of the "Punisher" fiasco - that is, a big budget remake that was just as bad as the low budget schlock version. As it turns out, "Fantastic Four" isn't nearly that bad, though it pales by comparison to the best films of the superhero genre.

The film often more closely resembles an 80s Ivan Reitman effects comedy than it does an adventure foil - except that it's not especially funny. Of the cast, Micahel Chiklis as The Thing fares best. Director Tim Story never seems to entirely get a handle on the material, and seems a bit over his head.

All in all, though, "Fantastic Four" is a reasonably entertaining diversion, as long as you're not comparing it to "Spider-MAn", "X-Men" or "Batman Begins". This is closer to "Batman Forever".

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The Sum of All Fears (2002)

7/10

Interesting reinvention of Jack Ryan

13 July 2005

When it was first announced that Ben Affleck would be assuming the role of Jack Ryan, I was utterly horrified. It's difficult enough for anyone to follow Harrison Ford, much less the star of "Pearl Harbor" and "Armageddon." And, of course, any semblance of continuity would be destroyed - we could buy Alec Baldwin and Harrison Ford were the same character, but Baldwin, Ford, then Affleck? So, it was with low expectations that I approached this adaptation of one of my least favorite Tom Clancy novels - and I was pleasantly surprised. Of course Affleck is no Ford (or Baldwin, for that matter), but is surprisingly effective in this re-imagined version of a younger Jack Ryan, which still feels enough like the original character to work. And Morgan Freeman, as a reworked variation of the character previously played by James Earl Jones (though with a different character), steals every scene he's in. Phil Alden Robinson's direction is taut and exciting.

While "The Sum of All Fears" doesn't equal "The Hunt for Red October" or "Clear and Present Danger", it stacks up favorably against the uneven "Patriot Games", and is a welcome addition to the Jack Ryan film franchise.

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American Beauty (1999)

4/10

Absurdly overpraised - and over acted

4 July 2005

"American Beauty" is one of the most absurdly over praised films of the '90s. It is a pale shadow of Robert Redford's classic "Ordinary People", which it seems so intent on echoing. The script is contrived and artificial, the acting, while in some cases good, is full of over the top histrionics that have all of the subtlety of an atomic bomb. It's amazing to me that this film hasn't fallen further in esteem since it's release.

That said, Sam Mendes is a talented director, and his follow-up (the UNDER praised "Road to Perdition") found a sense of subtlety and resonance in it's writing and acting which his Oscar-winning cartoon lacked.

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Bewitched (2005)

4/10

Will Ferrell in a romantic comedy?

26 June 2005

The idea of casting Will Ferrell - Hollywood's currently reigning "Look at me, I'm so funny" add lib king - in a sweet romantic comedy seems like a terrible piece of miscasting - and, as it turns out, it was. The film ends up torn between the Nicole Kidman/Nora Ephron romcom and the raucous Ferrell vehicle, and therefore doesn't fully work as either.

The brightest spot here is Kidman's lovable performance, and she is ably supported by Michael Caine and Shirly McClaine. The undeniably talented Ferrell has his moments, but his chemistry with Kidman is nonexistent - as usual, Ferrell seems too self-absorbed to even notice there's anyone else on screen with him. And "Anchorman" co-star Steve Carrell humiliates himself in a cameo by doing perhaps the worst celebrity impersonation in Hollywood history.

All in all, an okay movie, but one with a split personality, and the two sides of the film don't mesh well. If you're a Ferrell fan, you will probably enjoy his half more - for me, I much preferred Nicole's light comedy.

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