Reviews

I'm 64. I grew up hiding my face in a pillow when a "salad monster" was about to attack Will Robinson on "Lost in Space." That was better than this.

My girlfriend and I made it nearly half way through the first episode before it became too embarrassing, just from the standpoint of self respect, to NOT hit the stop button. Until then it was sort of impossible to believe that anything could really be THIS bad. But that belief was soon confirmed.

I was curious to come back here to IMDB just now, after the first day, and I was not surprised to see that the series rating had dropped to 4.1 below the already very low 4.6 where it was yesterday. I felt it was worth my time to push it lower.

I am curious to know how something this awful could be made. But it didn't cost us anything more than 30 minutes to satisfy our curiosity that there is REALLY nothing here worth our time.

Wow.

This was a Disney/Marvel collaboration. Perhaps one problem was that it was too much Disney and insufficient Marvel.

The thing I was conscious of at many points throughout the movie, was that in ridiculously violent fights between unarmored and unprotected simple flesh and blood humans... no one gets hurt. In Road Runner cartoons, when the anvil flattens the Coyote, it's quite funny due to its ludicrous overstatement. But the real parts of a movie involving humans -- which are intended to be believable -- really need to remain believable... or it's asking too much from a mature audience.

As a Science Fiction lover, I am more than willing to suspend my disbelief for the sake of immersion into a new idea. I loved the first IronMan, and have watched it many times. So I will gleefully imbue a robotic suit with any levels of strength and power the story may require. That's fine. Bring it on. Thrill me. But I know the limitations of an unaided human body. We all have one. And what I saw far too much of, against human flesh, was a level of coyote-flattening violence that was utter nonsense.

Despite the fact that I have no doubt IronMan will break US domestic box office records, as it already has overseas, I think that "Oblivion" was the far better movie so far this summer.

/Steve. (@SGgrc and http://www.grc.com)

First of all... I'm not some high-brow snooty movie critic type: I enjoyed "Olympus has Fallen" which was pure escapist action/violence/nonsense. I can also 'do' camp: I enjoyed "I am Number Four" and I'm pretty sure there won't be an "I am Number Five" (even though I WOULD go to see it). And I love (and essentially live for) science fiction. So it was because of the Sci-Fi angle that I had SOME hope of at least an enjoyable time.

I'm posting this review TRULY and ONLY to warn you.

This was one of those movies where the director also did the screen writing, which is rarely a good idea. It turned out that the "dialog" in this atrocity was nearly beyond tolerance: NOTHING left to the imagination, nothing left unsaid, nothing implied. The actors might as well have been faceless walking sticks. Who needs to act when you're saying everything you want the audience to feel and understand and think? The special effects were okay, and acting was okay.

If I had anything else that I might have done (I already finished my taxes and don't need any dental work) I would have left part way through the "event". And because I really didn't want to ruin any one else's experience, I was a bit uncomfortable that my and my girlfriend's audible groans throughout the movie might have been doing that. (Other's may have been thinking... why don't those two just leave?) And we should have. But you know how sometimes a train wreck is morbidly fascinating? You get the idea. Really. DON'T LET ANYONE TALK YOU INTO SEEING THIS! You've been warned.

/Steve. (@SGgrc)