broomulack's Reviews

How I Met Your Father (2022–2023)

5/10

29 August 2022

I wanted to like this, and I do appreciate the little nods to the original - but this is just not very funny. If it wasn't trying to be funny, it would be fine but it's trying real hard and the jokes are just falling flat. The show has the feel of a teen show on Nickelodeon but with adult content - the quick, cheap and obvous jokes, switching to another scene right away, the corny laugh track.

I know that shows take some time to develop so I watched the whole season and will continue to give it a shot. It did get slightly better as the season went on - there's still that "quick draw" feel from a teen show, but at least they developed the characters somewhat and made us (or just me?!?) attach to them a little bit.

I hope it gets better. I don't know if I'd watch another full season if the quality doesn't improve a bit, but we shall see.

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The Last American Virgin (1982)

9/10

Great Move With a Heartwrenching Ending (SPOILERS)

23 July 2020

Warning: Spoilers

For the first 99% of this movie, I was entertained like I was for so many other teen comedies of this era. It was funny, had all the right bathroom humor, good music.....and then the ending happened.

As a 13 year old who had never had a relationship, was just starting to have interest in (and being turned down by) girls, and having seen nothing but happy "guy gets the girl" endings my whole life, this one hit me in the stomach with a sledgehammer. At my age now, I'd see it coming and certainly wouldn't be affected so deeply by it. But 13 year old, unsure-of-myself me? Never had an inkling. And that's what takes this movie and catapults it near the top of the 80s teen comedy heap. It started me on my love of unhappy endings that has stuck with me until this day.

Other than the ending, nothing stands out all that much, but even without the ending, it's entertaining in the same way early-mid 80s teen movies are. Recommended.

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Don't Go in the Woods (1981)

Saw this garbage in the MOVIES

11 September 2004

I was unfortunate enough to have seen this crap in the movies when I was a pre-teen. There was a double-feature at the local cheap theater of "Don't Go in the Woods" and "Screwballs".

Although I loved Screwballs, it isn't exactly high-level cinema. Don't Go in the Woods, however, makes it seems like an Academy Award winner.

I don't remember much about it but was bored tonite and stumbled onto its site on IMDb. I got such a kick out of all the negative comments that I had to "brag" about having sat through it 22 years ago!

Awful then, and I can't imagine I'd enjoy it now. I was 12 when I saw it, and at the height of my "gory is good" days, and even then it did nothing for me.

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Little Black Book (2004)

1/10

Waste of Time

9 August 2004

There's not much I can add to what others have said about this load of garbage, but I'll add some serious plot holes that you can drive a cement truck through:

Derek calls home asking Stacy to get a "couple of phone numbers" from his PDA, which he inadvertently (and conveniently) left home. Why did she feel the need to snoop through the PDA? He gave her PERMISSION - in fact, ASKED her to!!!!!

Only extremely stupid (which Derek was not) or psychotic (which he also wasn't) guys would store their ex-girlfriend's pictures in various states of undress on an easily accessible item like a PDA. Why was he carrying around such pictures?! A guy who got away with what he did would certainly have taken better precautions.

Joyce calls back immediately after seeing Derek's number on caller ID when Stacy and Barb accidentally call her with the computer, then proceeds to leave a message that makes it sound like she calls all the time. Yet Stacy lives there and conveniently has never answered a call from this woman (or any of the others for that matter). Also, Joyce never bothers to call him on his cell phone or mention this odd occurrence during any subsequent conversations.

Also very conveniently, Joyce and Rachel have no knowledge of Stacy either, a fact that seems quite unlikely considering Stacy lives with Derek and these women apparently see/speak to him regularly. This guy could give lessons on juggling women!

Derek has a cell phone (obviously, since he used it to call Stacy a number of times) and neither Rachel or Joyce called him about all the silly goings-on around his (Derek's) life, particularly the fact that the dog, Bob, has superhuman powers. The conversation may have gone something like this: "Hi, Derek? It's me, Rachel. Our dog just showed up on my doorstep, alone, rang my bell, barked in response to my calling his name, and when I went down he was suddenly under the stairs near the apartment below. What? No, of course I didn't look to see if anyone else was there. Why not? Bob has always had a great sense of humor and a fondness for juvenile stunts like ringing doorbells and running away, you know that. Besides, he ran up to greet me. The funniest thing happened next: a strange woman who didn't even know her own name or the dog's showed up a couple of minutes later and I just let her right in! Talk to you soon!"

This is nitpicking, but the game between the Devils and the Tampa Bay Lightning was billed as "the Stanley Cup", yet the Stanley Cup cannot be played for between those two teams as they are in the same conference.

There's more, but I think this is sufficient to stop you from wasting your money. View at your own risk.

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The Shining (1997)

Some pretty bad acting here...

23 May 2004

I liked the fact that the film was more faithful to the book - one of my all-time favorite books, incidentally.

However, that's about the only thing that was better. This version was long, boring and the acting was absolutely horrid. I've never seen a movie where EVERYONE overacted. Elliot Gould as Stuart Ullman was terrifying- Gould tried way too hard, and his performance was wooden.

In fact, it seemed as if all the actors were reading from cue cards the entire time. If someone without any cinematic skills like me can notice this, couldn't the people involved with the film have noticed too? There's no way they wanted people to act like this.

OH well. I didn't think anything could make me think the original Shining was a great movie once I read the book, but I have to say, I'll take the "unfaithful" version anytime.

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Godsend (2004)

Godawful is more like it...

1 May 2004

The trailer for this movie made it look like a sci-fi thriller. I couldn't wait to see it. It turns out to be a heavy-handed, boring, poorly constructed schlock horror-film. Could the plot have moved along any more slowly?

The film was completely disjointed, didn't make a whole lot of sense and did nothing to grip me. Every scare was predictable - paint by numbers stuff seen in a million other movies.

I won't even go into how bad the ending was. I suppose it was supposed to leave a lot to the imagination, but all it did was make the movie more confusing.

TERRIBLE.

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Arlington Road (1999)

You are all missing the point..

23 March 2004

Warning: Spoilers

Many of the comments I've read refer to coincidences and the like with this film. The point, and I'm surprised no one else seems to have noticed, was that these WEREN'T coincidences. These people set the guy up from the very beginning. They had him watched, and they led him with a carrot on a stick the whole way to get HIM to be the one to take the blame, the "single man" theory. If you need any proof of this, refer to the last lines of the movie, where Mrs. Lang asks "Any word yet?" and Mr. Lang answers "No, but they'll let us know.". Looking for their next victim. The fact that Bridges' wife was killed and that he is a conspiracy theory nut was the whole reason they sought him out.

Great movie, phenomenal ending.

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